Marriage

Laura M · 12-04-2002, 08:16 AM

Really is there any need to get married anymore?

what does it really prove?

Even though you make your vows and everything your partner doesnt have to stay loyal to you they could still leave you.

I think its just an excuse to waste lots of money on relatives you'll never see again

Am I just very cynical?

U2SavesTheWorld · 12-04-2002, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lara Mullen
Even though you make your vows and everything your partner doesnt have to stay loyal to you they could still leave you.

Thats a bad reason to knock marriage.
Just because we have speeding limits doesn't mean everyone follows them.
Just because we have to sign a lease doesn't mean everyone honors it.
People are court-ordered to pay child support. It doesn't mean they send out the check.

People break vows and rules and agreements all the time. It doesn't mean the vow or rule or agreement is worthless.

**KhanadaRhodes** · 12-04-2002, 11:05 AM

^^^

^^^

some people get married for all the wrong reasons. i honestly do not understand why some get married even though they have no intent on staying loyal or faithful to their spouse.

**bonosloveslave** · 12-04-2002, 11:19 AM

I think the original intent and purpose for marriage has been forgotten or ignored by alot of people. We are so selfish, and so many people don't realize that a marriage is not supposed to be 'what can I get out of this', but 'what can i contribute to make this the best possible partnership'. I think people expect/want their mate to fufill all their needs, and it simply is not possible! When it doesn't happen, they walk away, thinking their next choice might be able to do it, and they'll never be able to. We are supposed to be the other's helpmate - not always easy to remember (and I know I don't always feel like it), but that's the only way to make it last.

just my $.02

**KhanadaRhodes** · 12-04-2002, 11:22 AM

has anyone heard the stipulations of jennifer lopez's pre-nuptual agreement she's making ben affleck sign?

Laura M · 12-04-2002, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KhanadaRhodes
has anyone heard the stipulations of jennifer lopez's pre-nuptual agreement she's making ben affleck sign?

nope? what r they?

**KhanadaRhodes** · 12-04-2002, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lara Mullen
nope? what r they?

i'm not sure if this is all of them, but it says:

- they have to have sex at least 4 times a week
- they each have to be present if the other is filming a love scene

if any of those are broken, there's money to be paid.

also, there's "fines"
- $5 million if ben cheats on her
- $1 million if one lies to the other about said affair
- $10,000 if one yells at the other during a heated argument
- lots of cash to be paid if they're not together for the important holidays and anniversaries

Laura M · 12-04-2002, 11:50 AM

"im still jenny from the block" yeh riiiight!!!

what a hypocrite

he shouldnt marry her

**bonosloveslave** · 12-04-2002, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KhanadaRhodes

i'm not sure if this is all of them, but it says:

- they have to have sex at least 4 times a week
- they each have to be present if the other is filming a love scene

if any of those are broken, there's money to be paid.

also, there's "fines"
- $5 million if ben cheats on her
- $1 million if one lies to the other about said affair
- $10,000 if one yells at the other during a heated argument
- lots of cash to be paid if they're not together for the important holidays and anniversaries

lordy, you have got to be kidding me..........

U2SavesTheWorld · 12-04-2002, 12:06 PM

Regarding that JLO crap...I have no idea if that is true or not but either way....she is still married to that other guy!

The divorce from that mess hasn't even gone through.

The whole thing is comical, really.

I mean, do they really think it will last? She has made it very clear that the vows of marriage aren't that important and all you have to do is sign some divorce papers to make it all go away.

martha · 12-04-2002, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lara Mullen

Am I just very cynical?

Yes.

Marriage isn't about the wedding and the relatives. Marriage is about love and commitment. It's about supporting someone you love when he tries something new, celebrating his success and comforting him through the failures. Then he does the same for you. You can get the same from a relationship, but a marriage means that you've made the commitment to each other.

I've been married for 13 1/2 years. It hasn't been all butterflies and roses, but it's been wonderful! My husband and I are committed to each other's growth as people. We love each other no matter what.

Zoomerang96 · 12-04-2002, 01:04 PM

some great replies to this post, i hope you really read them over lara mullen...

as for j lo, thats unbelievable. putting money down for everything? thats all their relationship is about i guess.

poor ben, i really feel sorry for him. hes got a bad catch :S

still jenny from the block, who is she kidding? what a bitch.

Laura M · 12-04-2002, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoomerang96
some great replies to this post, i hope you really read them over lara mullen...

still jenny from the block, who is she kidding? what a bitch.

LOL!!!!

Yes I read them Mr Z. 96

daisybean · 12-04-2002, 04:19 PM

Lara I think it depends on the situation.

When my Brother got married him and his wife went on a cruise and had their ceremony on a beautiful island. It was just the two of them, and a couple of their friends, that was the way they wanted it. To them the idea of getting married was not to have a big fancy ceremony to make the relatives happy. they got married because they love each other and want to spend the rest of thier lives together. At first her family (and some of mine) balked at the idea of the two of them "eloping," they wanted to have the ceremony complete with limos, tuxes, a big ole gown. But that was not thier style and they were completely content to say "Screw you, it's our wedding, we're doing what we want!" They have been married for about 5 years, but they lived together for two years before they got married. It was just the next inevitable step for them.

On the other hand, I knew a girl who got married just for the sake of getting married. she wanted to wear a pretty dress and have a big party. Two months after her so called commitment, she left her husband and moved in with the guy she was seeing before she got married. *sidenote* she was with both the guys when she got married, and the hubby to be didn't know about this other guy.

Dreadsox · 12-04-2002, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KhanadaRhodes

i'm not sure if this is all of them, but it says:

- they have to have sex at least 4 times a week
- they each have to be present if the other is filming a love scene

I know some guys who would like these!!!!

Umm on a serious note....It is good to be here posting. I really did think I was done.....but things change (Thanks).

As for this particular topic........I do like what Martha had to say on this particvular topic. Everyone truly has a nice graspe on things.

Peace

elizabeth · 12-04-2002, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lara Mullen
Really is there any need to get married anymore?

what does it really prove?

Even though you make your vows and everything your partner doesnt have to stay loyal to you they could still leave you.

I think its just an excuse to waste lots of money on relatives you'll never see again

Am I just very cynical?

no, i agree with all those things and i am not cynical.

I did get married though.

and i'll tell you why: it was the only way to really get all the family and friends together for a big party.

We didn't go overboard, but they all came because it was a "wedding."

I'm not fooling myself. It doesn't mean this partnership is somehow now irrevocable because we had a wedding. but we did have a damn fine time at our big party!!

U2Bama · 12-04-2002, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by martha

Marriage isn't about the wedding and the relatives. Marriage is about love and commitment. It's about supporting someone you love when he tries something new, celebrating his success and comforting him through the failures. Then he does the same for you. You can get the same from a relationship, but a marriage means that you've made the commitment to each other.

I've been married for 13 1/2 years. It hasn't been all butterflies and roses, but it's been wonderful! My husband and I are committed to each other's growth as people. We love each other no matter what.

This is perhaps the greatest post that has ever been posted on a message board in the history of the internet. I could not sum up my own views on marriage any better. I know marriage isn't "cool" anymore, but call me out of style. It does mean a lot to my wife and me. It proves our love and loyalty by solidifying our commitment.

If you don't like marriage, don't get married; but people who choose to make such a commitment usually have better reasons than spending money.

~U2Alabama

Angela Harlem · 12-05-2002, 12:21 AM

I couldn't agree with martha and bama more.

Danospano · 12-05-2002, 09:22 AM

Sure, marriage should be about love, but is that a reason to get married before the state? No. The reason people get "married" in the face of the state and the church is because of all the perks that are given to married couples. Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Hospital visitation rights, blah blah blah.

If it weren't for these things, people would never get married. Therefore, lawyers wouldn't make a killing on divorce cases, child custody hearings, etc. People could still remain loyal without signing a document, but because we are all looking out for #1 and trying to get through life a little bit easier, we bit the line....

martha · 12-05-2002, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Danospano
The reason people get "married" in the face of the state and the church is because of all the perks that are given to married couples. Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Hospital visitation rights, blah blah blah.

If it weren't for these things, people would never get married.

Sorry, Dano, but you're wrong about the majority of people who get married. Those things never crossed my mind when I was contemplating marriage.

PS Thanks, Bama.

12-04-2002, 11:05 AM	#3
KhanadaRhodes Paper Gods Forum Administrator Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: a vampire in the limousine Posts: 60,684 Local Time: 06:07 PM	^^^ ^^^ some people get married for all the wrong reasons. i honestly do not understand why some get married even though they have no intent on staying loyal or faithful to their spouse. __________________

12-04-2002, 11:19 AM	#4
bonosloveslave Offishul Kitteh Doctor Forum Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Taking care of kitties Posts: 9,655 Local Time: 07:07 PM	I think the original intent and purpose for marriage has been forgotten or ignored by alot of people. We are so selfish, and so many people don't realize that a marriage is not supposed to be 'what can I get out of this', but 'what can i contribute to make this the best possible partnership'. I think people expect/want their mate to fufill all their needs, and it simply is not possible! When it doesn't happen, they walk away, thinking their next choice might be able to do it, and they'll never be able to. We are supposed to be the other's helpmate - not always easy to remember (and I know I don't always feel like it), but that's the only way to make it last. just my $.02 __________________ bonosloveslave [at] interference.com

12-04-2002, 04:19 PM	#14
daisybean Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Born under a bad sign with a blue moon in your eyes Posts: 8,577 Local Time: 06:07 PM	Lara I think it depends on the situation. When my Brother got married him and his wife went on a cruise and had their ceremony on a beautiful island. It was just the two of them, and a couple of their friends, that was the way they wanted it. To them the idea of getting married was not to have a big fancy ceremony to make the relatives happy. they got married because they love each other and want to spend the rest of thier lives together. At first her family (and some of mine) balked at the idea of the two of them "eloping," they wanted to have the ceremony complete with limos, tuxes, a big ole gown. But that was not thier style and they were completely content to say "Screw you, it's our wedding, we're doing what we want!" They have been married for about 5 years, but they lived together for two years before they got married. It was just the next inevitable step for them. On the other hand, I knew a girl who got married just for the sake of getting married. she wanted to wear a pretty dress and have a big party. Two months after her so called commitment, she left her husband and moved in with the guy she was seeing before she got married. sidenote she was with both the guys when she got married, and the hubby to be didn't know about this other guy. __________________ "....But all I ever hear from you is "

12-05-2002, 12:21 AM	#18
Angela Harlem Jesus Online Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: a glass castle Posts: 30,163 Local Time: 10:07 AM	I couldn't agree with martha and bama more. __________________

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12-04-2002, 08:16 AM	#1
Laura M Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 18,934 Local Time: 01:07 AM	Marriage Really is there any need to get married anymore? what does it really prove? Even though you make your vows and everything your partner doesnt have to stay loyal to you they could still leave you. I think its just an excuse to waste lots of money on relatives you'll never see again Am I just very cynical? __________________

12-04-2002, 11:22 AM	#5
KhanadaRhodes Paper Gods Forum Administrator Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: a vampire in the limousine Posts: 60,684 Local Time: 06:07 PM	has anyone heard the stipulations of jennifer lopez's pre-nuptual agreement she's making ben affleck sign?

12-04-2002, 11:50 AM	#8
Laura M Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 18,934 Local Time: 01:07 AM	"im still jenny from the block" yeh riiiight!!! what a hypocrite he shouldnt marry her

12-04-2002, 12:06 PM	#10
U2SavesTheWorld Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: sundries and such Posts: 7,406 Local Time: 06:07 PM	Regarding that JLO crap...I have no idea if that is true or not but either way....she is still married to that other guy! The divorce from that mess hasn't even gone through. The whole thing is comical, really. I mean, do they really think it will last? She has made it very clear that the vows of marriage aren't that important and all you have to do is sign some divorce papers to make it all go away.

12-04-2002, 01:04 PM	#12
Zoomerang96 ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: canada Posts: 13,462 Local Time: 06:07 PM	some great replies to this post, i hope you really read them over lara mullen... as for j lo, thats unbelievable. putting money down for everything? thats all their relationship is about i guess. poor ben, i really feel sorry for him. hes got a bad catch :S still jenny from the block, who is she kidding? what a bitch.

12-05-2002, 09:22 AM	#19
Danospano Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,415 Local Time: 06:07 PM	Sure, marriage should be about love, but is that a reason to get married before the state? No. The reason people get "married" in the face of the state and the church is because of all the perks that are given to married couples. Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Hospital visitation rights, blah blah blah. If it weren't for these things, people would never get married. Therefore, lawyers wouldn't make a killing on divorce cases, child custody hearings, etc. People could still remain loyal without signing a document, but because we are all looking out for #1 and trying to get through life a little bit easier, we bit the line....