Killer Kandy! It's Time for Government Control

[the iron horse]

America is under attack by a brutal industry that peddles death for profit to the American people. Every day nearly 2,400 Americans are cut down by heart disease, nearly one every 34 seconds, creating the largest and most likely cause of death in America.

Backed by addicted fanatics and corporate tycoons this industry targets not only consenting adults, but children as well, with $5 billion spent on Halloween alone. To solve this cycle of violence and fear I propose several steps:

1) A seven day waiting period on all candy purchases. This is to prevent emotion filled binge buying, allowing a person to settle down and reflect on what they are about to do to their body.

2) Back ground check to make sure they are healthy enough to eat the candy. Giving candy to an unhealthy person puts their life and the lives of others around them in jeopardy, and is not only unethical but should be illegal.

3) Ban high capacity candy containers. Why does someone need to have upwards of sixteen mints and/or Life Savers? These products only encourage dangerous eating behavior and no rational person has any use for them.

4) Outlaw the manufacturing, sale, and possession of certain candies that are so bad for you that they lack any reasonable nutritional value. These candies have only one purpose, to inflict bodily harm on those who eat them.

[Canadiens1131]

Lawl, like gun control except with candy AM I RITE????



u r so conservative and awesom!!!!

[financeguy]

Arguments against statism will always get a fair hearing from me.

[Canadiens1131]

Originally posted by financeguy
Arguments against statism will always get a fair hearing from me.

I prefer when such arguments are not presented to me as if I were a kindergartner.

[melon]

Originally posted by Canadiens1160
Lawl, like gun control except with candy AM I RITE????

I like to "share" with high-powered assault candy. No one will get my PEZ!

[Canadiens1131]

Originally posted by melon


I like to "share" with high-powered assault candy. No one will get my PEZ!

PEZ is a personal liberty. RON PAUL 08!!!!

[maycocksean]

Originally posted by the iron horse
America is under attack by a brutal industry that peddles death for profit to the American people. Every day nearly 2,400 Americans are cut down by heart disease, nearly one every 34 seconds, creating the largest and most likely cause of death in America.

Backed by addicted fanatics and corporate tycoons this industry targets not only consenting adults, but children as well, with $5 billion spent on Halloween alone. To solve this cycle of violence and fear I propose several steps:

1) A seven day waiting period on all candy purchases. This is to prevent emotion filled binge buying, allowing a person to settle down and reflect on what they are about to do to their body.

2) Back ground check to make sure they are healthy enough to eat the candy. Giving candy to an unhealthy person puts their life and the lives of others around them in jeopardy, and is not only unethical but should be illegal.

3) Ban high capacity candy containers. Why does someone need to have upwards of sixteen mints and/or Life Savers? These products only encourage dangerous eating behavior and no rational person has any use for them.

4) Outlaw the manufacturing, sale, and possession of certain candies that are so bad for you that they lack any reasonable nutritional value. These candies have only one purpose, to inflict bodily harm on those who eat them.

Word.

I had this friend one time who got mad because he thought some guys were messing with his girlfriend. He drove over to the house where she was at where a party was going on and pulled out a big old bag of Snickers. Good thing his dad showed up just then, grabbed the bag of Snickers, and wrestled him into his car. Otherwise all those partygoers woulda started eating and it would have been all over, know what I mean. That's why I fully support the restrictions on candy you've described. All it takes is one careless moment, a ho-ho offered in a moment of rage, and some one's life is OVER.

[maycocksean]

Originally posted by financeguy
Arguments against statism will always get a fair hearing from me.

Even rebuking the argument is as easy as. . .well, taking candy from a baby?

[No spoken words]

Originally posted by maycocksean


All it takes is one careless moment, a ho-ho offered in a moment of rage,

Where I come from, you do not mess with another pimp, I mean, person's ho-ho. Not unless you want to get cut down by a wad of Big League Chew.

[BVS]

Wow, this is such a strong argument. Seamless...

You couldn't even argue that candy is just a "tool".

[Cin]

Originally posted by the iron horse


1) A seven day waiting period on all candy purchases. This is to prevent emotion filled binge buying, allowing a person to settle down and reflect on what they are about to do to their body.

hmmm, ponders how long it would take to make the rounds of all the shops so that supply never runs out. This means I'm gonna have to get a fake ID or get someone else to buy my candy.
It's my civil right to have candy dammit

[MrsSpringsteen]

I'll give up my Wintergreen Life Savers when they pry them from my cold dead hands

[INDY500]

If it wasn't for Green M&Ms I'd still be a virgin.

[Zoomerang96]

Originally posted by the iron horse
America is under attack by a brutal industry that peddles death for profit to the American people. Every day nearly 2,400 Americans are cut down by heart disease, nearly one every 34 seconds, creating the largest and most likely cause of death in America.

Backed by addicted fanatics and corporate tycoons this industry targets not only consenting adults, but children as well, with $5 billion spent on Halloween alone. To solve this cycle of violence and fear I propose several steps:

1) A seven day waiting period on all candy purchases. This is to prevent emotion filled binge buying, allowing a person to settle down and reflect on what they are about to do to their body.

2) Back ground check to make sure they are healthy enough to eat the candy. Giving candy to an unhealthy person puts their life and the lives of others around them in jeopardy, and is not only unethical but should be illegal.

3) Ban high capacity candy containers. Why does someone need to have upwards of sixteen mints and/or Life Savers? These products only encourage dangerous eating behavior and no rational person has any use for them.

4) Outlaw the manufacturing, sale, and possession of certain candies that are so bad for you that they lack any reasonable nutritional value. These candies have only one purpose, to inflict bodily harm on those who eat them.

are you serious?

here's an idea. if you don't want the candy, leave it on the fucking shelve.

[Irvine511]

it's not candy that kills, it's transfats.

sheesh.

[the iron horse]

Originally posted by MrsSpringsteen
I'll give up my Wintergreen Life Savers when they pry them from my cold dead hands

http://www.thefreesociety.org/

[BVS]

http://www.thefreesociety.org/

"Whisper it: non-smokers die too!"

Well no shit sherlock, but people should have as much of a say in when as they can. This is what people like this don't get.

I was in Austin last week and listening to talk radio, their local "freedom" movement talk show host spent an hour with other callers talking about why their movement doesn't get taken seriously. THIS IS EXACTLY WHY, articles and logic like this...

[the iron horse]

"Well no shit sherlock, but people should have as much of a say in when as they can. This is what people like this don't get."


How much did you read on link I posted?

What is it do I not get about desiring less government interference in my life?

[BVS]

Originally posted by the iron horse
"Well no shit sherlock, but people should have as much of a say in when as they can. This is what people like this don't get."


How much did you read on link I posted?

What is it do I not get about desiring less government interference in my life?

I've read the website quite a few times, you've posted it, quite a few times and I've read it on my own...

For example, the smoking issue. You feel it's perfectly fine to put others at risk because of your habit. That's just selfish irresponsibilty, so the government wants to give those that don't want to breathe smoke the choice to do so. And you, don't care about their choice.

That is just a small reason why so many don't get taken seriously.

[financeguy]

Originally posted by the iron horse
"Well no shit sherlock, but people should have as much of a say in when as they can. This is what people like this don't get."


How much did you read on link I posted?

What is it do I not get about desiring less government interference in my life?

Well, how far are you prepared to take this? For the sake of argument, would you legalise heroin? Now I know you're not the type of person that person that would dream of taking heroin and neither am I, I'm just interested in how far you'd extent the market free for all philosophy.


"I don't think any drug that can cause brain damage, failing kidneys, hardening arteries, pain, and suffering should be made available. "

- Layne Staley (1967 -2002)