pax
ONE love, blood, life
And while I'm waiting for my ride to pick me up so I can go out dancing, let me look at a few of these:
"Unwanted pregnancy": Yes, but you can be careful.
"A myraid of STDs": See above.
"Lots of guilt and shame": Not for everyone. Some people feel that sex, while a very special thing, is also quite natural. Personally, I think as long as both partners are ethical, honest, and careful, there's no shame in having sex.
"Plummeting self-esteem": FOR SOME, maybe, but in my experience there's no difference between ended relationships in which there was no sex and ended relationships in which there was. I mourn them depending on how much time there was put in and how much I cared for the person.
"Tendency to compare": Well, maybe, but my gut is giving me a resounding "So what?" on this one. You might compare, for example, your husband's cooking skills to that of an ex, or his ability to play basketball or whatever. Does this automatically make a relationship unhealthy?
"Lack of trust": If they've both had sex before marriage and have no deep-seated issues about it, why would there be a lack of trust? I've dated both virgin and non-virgin guys, and I trust them all equally (at least until they give me cause not to).
I think you might be making a lot of assumptions here, Discoteque--and at least a couple border on the offensive to me and, I suspect, to others here as well.
Discoteque said:Sex outside of marriage brings:
- unwanted pregnancy which may lead to abortion
- a myriad of STDs, many of which have no cure, and can even kill you
- lots of guilt and shame
- plumetting self-esteem for some when a sexual relationship ends
- tendency to "compare" your mate with those who came before
- lack of trust between mates if they have both had sex before marriage
"Unwanted pregnancy": Yes, but you can be careful.
"A myraid of STDs": See above.
"Lots of guilt and shame": Not for everyone. Some people feel that sex, while a very special thing, is also quite natural. Personally, I think as long as both partners are ethical, honest, and careful, there's no shame in having sex.
"Plummeting self-esteem": FOR SOME, maybe, but in my experience there's no difference between ended relationships in which there was no sex and ended relationships in which there was. I mourn them depending on how much time there was put in and how much I cared for the person.
"Tendency to compare": Well, maybe, but my gut is giving me a resounding "So what?" on this one. You might compare, for example, your husband's cooking skills to that of an ex, or his ability to play basketball or whatever. Does this automatically make a relationship unhealthy?
"Lack of trust": If they've both had sex before marriage and have no deep-seated issues about it, why would there be a lack of trust? I've dated both virgin and non-virgin guys, and I trust them all equally (at least until they give me cause not to).
I think you might be making a lot of assumptions here, Discoteque--and at least a couple border on the offensive to me and, I suspect, to others here as well.