Is Death a bad thing?

[Trash Can]

It is a fact of life.
It is inevitable.
It is painful.
... Is it a bad thing?
AND is it a bad thing for the deceased, or the living loved ones left behind?

____________________________

"When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."
- Morrie Schwart from the book, "Tuesdays with Morrie"

 

[80sU2isBest]

Originally posted by Trash Can:
It is a fact of life.
It is inevitable.
It is painful.
... Is it a bad thing?
AND is it a bad thing for the deceased, or the living loved ones left behind?
"When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."
- Morrie Schwart from the book, "Tuesdays with Morrie"

I think it is DEFINITELY a bad thing for those left behind. My brother was killed at the age of 31, with a wife and two young children left behind. That's a bad thing.

 

[Pollux]

Like 80's said, it's bad if the person dies at a young age. I'm not afraid of death at all, cause i know i'll be going to a better place.

------------------
"Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked."

 

[U2Bama]

Even for those who die young, you must take comfort in the knowledge that they are in a better place and at peace, as difficult as that is for us here on Earth.

~U2Alabama

 

[Shirley]

I dont believe in a better place or any place after death. But im not afraid. I mean what could it possible mean to you? It should be more scary for the ones you leave behind cos youre not gonna be there to live without you.
I never lost anyone I know, but I have seen someone die. That person wasnt afraid at all even though it was he hasnt been able to prepare himself (was stabbed), with preparing i mean being sick for a long time and knowing in advance you're going to die any time soo. I dont mean that this is an easier way to die, Id probably find it harder.
So imo its bad for the people that stay behind, even if you believe in live after death. I think the deceased one wont even notice, cos either he is gone (like really gone, nothing) or as many of you believe, he is in a better place and this better place wont be all about remembering the ones you left behind or else i wont be a better place.

Weird description, hope that you can all understand my point.

 

[SweetOnU2]

Death, is something that obviously none of us have any control over it. Whether death is bad or not, in many ways it feels like it is bad. When you lose someone so close to you, it hurts and the pain lingers and its seems that life isn't fair. It causes pain to the ones left behind, so death becomes bad that way. Even though we all know from the beginning that we are all going to die someday. That you can't escape death. But when it happens to you all of a sudden, it just becomes the worse thing in the world, it becomes bad. But also if your spiritual and believe in God, then you can say that God, knows why he does these things. Why he decides to take a person's life at a young age or the life of someone with a family, only God knows. I mean God gave us the gift of life, and if he wants it back, then we can't complain. But this mentality is so hard to accept when your going through grief.



------------------
~*Dream Out loud*~

(??.?(?*?.? ?.?*?)?.??)
?.???. *Monica* .???.?
(?.??(?.??* *??.?)??.)

 

[bonoman]

i so so scared of death. For me and for my loved ones. Its my greatest fear.

Is it bad. No. Death should be a celebrated thing!

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Running to Stand Still-"you gotta cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice."

"we're not burning out we're burning up...we're the loudest folk band in the world!"-Bono

 

[Saracene]

I guess death is definitely bad for the living loved ones. As for the deceased themselves... I don't know. There may be a possibility that we all go to a better place afterwards, but I don't see why there can't be an equal possibility of going to a worse place instead. Perhaps it ends then and there, and the spark just goes out, or maybe there is a re-incarnation process going on. I just hope it will take a reaaaaally long time before I find out,

 

[pub crawler]

I'm not really all that in to death.

 

[Like O2]

Originally posted by pub crawler:
I'm not really all that in to death.

Maybe this is one of the reasons no one watches Six Feet Under!!

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"See, the rock star gets his way! Thank you very much. This feels very Elvis. Thank you."

Bono ~ Houston, Texas 4-02-01

 

[Trash Can]

Originally posted by SweetOnU2:
. Why he decides to take a person's life at a young age or the life of someone with a family, only God knows. I mean God gave us the gift of life, and if he wants it back, then we can't complain.

I have a problem with the concept that God "takes people away". That God "came and took Mommy away". Tell that to a six year old boy and he will grow up to hate and fear ( not the "biblical fear") God.
I have to believe that God feels the pain that the deceased loved ones feel. I have to believe that He cries as we cry.
I have to believe that He knows what it is like to see a loved one suffer and die, because He did see it.
I have to believe He knows what we feel. How we suffer. How we hurt.

There are no easy answers. At least I don't ahve them. I know this: Life is NOT fair. Innocent people die. It is a fact.
And we are left to do what we like with these facts.
Be it that we do a good thing, or a bad thing.

Peace.

 

[80sU2isBest]

Originally posted by Trash Can:

Originally posted by SweetOnU2:
. Why he decides to take a person's life at a young age or the life of someone with a family, only God knows. I mean God gave us the gift of life, and if he wants it back, then we can't complain.

I have a problem with the concept that God "takes people away". That God "came and took Mommy away". Tell that to a six year old boy and he will grow up to hate and fear ( not the "biblical fear") God.
I have to believe that God feels the pain that the deceased loved ones feel. I have to believe that He cries as we cry.
I have to believe that He knows what it is like to see a loved one suffer and die, because He did see it.
I have to believe He knows what we feel. How we suffer. How we hurt.

There are no easy answers. At least I don't ahve them. I know this: Life is NOT fair. Innocent people die. It is a fact.
And we are left to do what we like with these facts.
Be it that we do a good thing, or a bad thing.
Peace.

Trash Can, as we do on many theological issues, I agree with you.

 

[SweetOnU2]

Originally posted by Trash Can:
I have a problem with the concept that God "takes people away". That God "came and took Mommy away". Tell that to a six year old boy and he will grow up to hate and fear ( not the "biblical fear") God.

Maybe I didn't mean it to sound that way, but when you come to it, who gives us life? (If you believe in the god) GOD? And who is the only person who can take our life, our existance from this world away? God. I'm not saying to tell a six year old that "its god's fault," obviously the child is too young to understand. And I would never do that. Only god knows why he does the things he does, yes I do believe that.

I have to believe that God feels the pain that the deceased loved ones feel. I have to believe that He cries as we cry.
I have to believe that He knows what it is like to see a loved one suffer and die, because He did see it.
I have to believe He knows what we feel. How we suffer. How we hurt.

I never said GOD doesn't "feel" or that he doesn't know our pain, of course he does. That goes without saying. I know he knows that we hurt, that we suffer. And why do we suffer? Is it a test from god? I don't know. I don't know why people die and why the living are left to suffer.

There are no easy answers. At least I don't ahve them.

I don't have them either. I can only go by what I know and chose to believe.

I know this: Life is NOT fair. Innocent people die. It is a fact.
And we are left to do what we like with these facts. Be it that we do a good thing, or a bad thing.

Peace.

I understand what your saying.. and the facts all ....Yes life is not fair, but who said it had to be? I constantly ask myself why we were put on this earth to suffer like this? I dunno. And I will never know the answer. People constantly die, and it may not be fair but its part of life. I dunno, if I'm making any sense, just saying what I feel. To me there is no, right or wrong answer to the question of "Is death bad?"


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~*Dream Out loud*~

(??.?(?*?.? ?.?*?)?.??)
?.???. *Monica* .???.?
(?.??(?.??* *??.?)??.)


[This message has been edited by SweetOnU2 (edited 08-14-2001).]

 

[foray]

The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning - Ecclesiastes 7:4

Well you know what? I'm sick of thinking about death. I do it 24/7 and I'm not sure if it's making me wiser or not.

Just today, I discovered from a friend how EXACTLY my childhood friend had died. The details I heard just broke my heart and right now I am feeling very heartbroken. Here's a poem I had written way back when I first heard the news.

_Joshua_

Not long before, 'twas in fine fettle
But now as fierce flames lick the metal
The wreck is wreathed in tongues of fire.

I cringe at how fast it had sped
How it always plays in my head
A horrid metallic funeral pyre.

Fiendish fire Burning friend
No one wants to comprehend
How such small follies turn so dire.
I close my eyes and say a prayer.

foray

 

[foray]

I want you to know this, too. That even though I have had many friends die on me, I still believe that death is not a bad thing. It is as natural as the birth of a baby. Our lives have to end anyway, why 'blame' God for that? He gets blamed for everything. I remember when my grandmother died, how I was thinking it was a very beautiful thing to happen, and I was 15 years old then.

foray

 

[Like O2]

17 years ago today, my Dad died. I was so young I couldn't even begin to comprehend all the ways his dying would be a "bad thing" in my life. Still to this day, when I'm at a wedding reception, I leave the room when the bride dances with her father, it's just too painful for me to watch knowing I never got that opportunity.

And yet with all this said (and a few tears in my eyes) I still can't say that my Dad's death was a bad thing. He had been sick for such a long time and he was in so much pain that it was really okay that he went. I knew my Dad was at the point that he would not recover, so the greatest gift I could give him at the time was my love and support to go ahead and go onto the next adventure. But I sure do miss him.

 

[Saracene]

"Maybe I didn't mean it to sound that way, but when you come to it, who gives us life? (If you believe in the god) GOD? And who is the only person who can take our life, our existance from this world away? God. "

I don't know, humans seem to be terribly efficient in taking their fellow humans' lives away, and they continue to do so every day, often inflicting terrible torture and suffering on their victims as they do so.

 

[SweetOnU2]

Originally posted by Saracene:
"Maybe I didn't mean it to sound that way, but when you come to it, who gives us life? (If you believe in the god) GOD? And who is the only person who can take our life, our existance from this world away? God. "

I don't know, humans seem to be terribly efficient in taking their fellow humans' lives away, and they continue to do so every day, often inflicting terrible torture and suffering on their victims as they do so.

Yes, that's true also. I often wonder why people kill. But if you want to think about it really profound... why did that happened? Why are people serial killers/murders? Was it their choice? Were they meant to be that way since birth?

I dunno, everything is too out of order to make sense of.... yes, we all make choices in life and one of them is to kill someone, even of course its a horrible and wrong choice, but is it written in a book, that it was supposed to be that way? I mean, are we the creaters and makers of our own fate or has our fate been written for us, by God? Ok, maybe I'm confusing here (lol) but I think about crazy stuff like that. Like I said, to me that Q is hard to answer and no one really knows the answer.



------------------
~*Dream Out loud*~

(??.?(?*?.? ?.?*?)?.??)
?.???. *Monica* .???.?
(?.??(?.??* *??.?)??.)

 

[Trash Can]

"Some people curse God because roses have thorns.
Some people praise God, because among the thorns, He has placed roses."

I'm no psychotherapist (but I seem to play one towards myself...Hmmmmm)
But I have to believe that one HAS got to "let go" of a loved one, after his/her death.
There IS a natural healing process, and I believe one of the last steps is "acceptance".
And, as with most other things in life, "acceptance" IS a choice that one has to make. It's not a "feeling" that one waitings to come along.
I HATED that my mother died of cancer. I wanted to die myself... but, after a time, I realized I had to go on. I actually "let go".
I STILL cry, yes. I still feel sad. But I also feel great joy in the blessings of my life. You know, after a time, when I did NOT constantly think of my mother's death and felt sad about it,... I felt GUILTY! "How dare I not moupe (sp?) and hang my head and shake my fists and cry out!????".
But I think, would my mother want me to have this grief "hanging around my neck" for the rest of my life!?? She'd be down-right upset over that! She'd probably tell me that she, herself DID have a great life, and despite it being cut short, she was just fine... now and forever. She'd want me to "honor" her by remembering the GREAT times I had with her...AND now creating NEW great times with MY children (if I ever get any) and my loved ones.

God heals. Faith heals. Love heals.
But it seems you have to meet them halfway, and take a chance.
BUT it's well worth it.


(.... Man, who writes this mushy stuff!!!!

)


Peace.

 

[Saracene]

"Yes, that's true also. I often wonder why people kill. But if you want to think about it really profound... why did that happened? Why are people serial killers/murders? Was it their choice? Were they meant to be that way since birth?"

I think that the scariest thing is, most killings in history of the world were probably done by completely sane and normal people, who killed and tortured other people because their governments or religious leaders told them to.

 

[80sU2isBest]

Originally posted by Trash Can:
[BI HATED that my mother died of cancer. I wanted to die myself... but, after a time, I realized I had to go on. I actually "let go".
I STILL cry, yes. I still feel sad. But I also feel great joy in the blessings of my life. You know, after a time, when I did NOT constantly think of my mother's death and felt sad about it,... I felt GUILTY! "How dare I not moupe (sp?) and hang my head and shake my fists and cry out!????".Peace.[/B]

TC, that is touching. I know how you feel. I felt that way after my brother and father died.

 

[SweetOnU2]

That was beautiful Trash Can, and your right about letting go of the one's who passed away. And I can understand and relate to the feeling "guilty" when you don't think about the death of that loved one everyday. Im kinda going through this myself right now. I'm learning to "let go." Its really, really hard though.

------------------
~*Dream Out loud*~

(??.?(?*?.? ?.?*?)?.??)
?.???. *Monica* .???.?
(?.??(?.??* *??.?)??.)


[This message has been edited by SweetOnU2 (edited 08-15-2001).]

 

[Sledgehammer]

I'm so afraid of death. I just hate the fact that someday I'll be gone while the earth will still be spinning. I'm so jealous of people who can deal with that. But I guess it's the only way to overcome this fear, by facing it and accepting it, like a natural thing, a normal part of the life process.
We can't always run away from it. It's like trying to hide from our own shadow, I think.
Anyway, forget this theory. I'm still afraid of it. I don't want to die!

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"I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens", Woody Allen

 

[Trash Can]

I don't want to die, either!
You don't think I'm afraid?
If someone were to put a gun in my face right now, you better believe it would scare me (plus... I'd need a change of underwear).

Fear... is natural. Obsessive fear, or irrational fear is not. I can't and won't spend my life curled up in the fetal position in some dark corner, though. I may die 5 minutes from now ( Boy that would really bumm out these library people, too!)
or 60 years from now ( ohhh God, Thats TOO much!), BUT right now... I live. I'm grateful and I TRY to be joyous.

Just be careful, be healthy, be smart, and enjoy what you have.

 

[Shirley]

Originally posted by Trash Can:
You don't think I'm afraid?
If someone were to put a gun in my face right now, you better believe it would scare me

you'd be more afraid of the gun then of dying. i know that the gun would be the thing causing your dead but still.

 

[AM]

Death is the start of something new. It?s as much part of our lifes as it is to be born.

 

[slightly_ jaded]

No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks

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--STU234

Dammit, i'm NOT a newbie i just can't decide on a "handle" i'm happy with. . .

U2= The greatest band EVER!

 

[Like O2]

Originally posted by STU234:
No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

((({{{STU234}}})))

Giving you a big hug and a kiss on the forehead 'cause that's what I do when I don't know what to say.

What's got you feeling so down? There are alot of kind people out here who could probably share some words of wisdom that might help.



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"See, the rock star gets his way! Thank you very much. This feels very Elvis. Thank you."

Bono ~ Houston, Texas 4-02-01

 

[Angela Harlem]

Coincidentally, I was at a funeral today. And the thing that I have worked out about death that is so hard to deal with is the lack of control we have once that person is gone. Sure, death itself is inevitable. But after they are gone, we have no way of channeling or controlling the feeling of loss. We cant do anything to get rid of or lessen the pain, the loss, the 'if only's' that go through our minds. Nothing makes it easier. I have been trying to think of any situation that matches that and couldn't. I personally always manage to find a way to deal with bad things, it may not be easy, and it may take a great deal of time, but I got there in the end. I suppose the pain fades with death, and the memories are easier as we remember the good things and not the pain and hurt. But its a time thing, and we cannot mentally or emotionally speed it up or actively do something to help ourselves.

ST, I dont have wise words for you. But I know that life is hard, it is depressing, its many bad things. Its also very busy, and events happen, people affect you, your circumstances change constantly. Whatever is bad doesnt stay bad for long. I wont say it will pass whatever it is that has you sad. But whatever it is may change, end or get pushed back in your day to day prioities as time goes on. Some things we never forget or get over, but nothing will be on the forefront of your mind to burden you forever. It may be overtaken by more heart ache and tragedy, it may not. No one knows, and that can be hard. It takes an unfortunate soul to experience a life of pain with no happiness amongst it to balance out the hurt. I hope you arent one of those. I also hope you can draw strength from something, somewhere in your life right now.
Take care.

 

[Trash Can]

Originally posted by STU234:
No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks

Hmmm... I don't know if this was meant as a joke, or just a "flipant" remark.

STU, I don't believe you.

"I'd give anything to be dead right now"?
Buddy... Death is free. Death is "easy".
To kill oneself doesn't cost anything (monitarily). You can do it anytime you like...


BUT, I don't think YOU want to die!!!!


"Life sucks"???

Really?
WHY?

And you think death does NOT suck? You think you are free from pain in the afterlife??... IF you choose to take your own life.

Life... and DEATH has its conscequences.

Or do you NOT believe in God???
No wonder you think life sucks!

YOU WANT THE PAIN TO STOP... Not your life to stop.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

There is hope. There is a better way. There is an answer. There is JOY... Joy... Imagine that!????

But, it's not easy.
"To end suffering takes great suffering."
"Consequences".

Do you want it?
Hope? Joy?

You CAN have it.

But, you need to admit that, "There is a God... And it's NOT you."

You cannot get out of this alone. You just can't. Sorry.

You need help. WE ALL DO.

YOU make the first move... You reach out for help... And it will all start to get better.
"Domino Effect".

BUT, No one can do it for you. YOU have got to want to.

Come onnnnnnnnnnnn. You CAN do it!

Life is pain... yes. Life is not fair. Yes.

BUT here we all are... in the middle of it...

And there ARE "Roses among the thorns".

I'll pray for you STU234. Will you pray for me too???

May God show you his Grace.
(ohhh, darn... BUT, you have to look for THAT too!!!)


In the words of James Brown, "Get up!!!! Get on up!!"


Peace