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#41 |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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STU and Lovey,
__________________Well, thanks to my new job, I just dont have time to visit this site much anymore. And right now I'm late to something else. STU, I have made some HUGE mistakes in my life. H U G E !!!!! But... I have to pick myself up, and keep going. IF you believe in a Higher Power, then you believe that you have a chance. That you ARE loved and forgiven... YOU'RE HUMAN... sorry, but you're just as faliable as myself and EVERYONE else... Its ok. GOD... I have to go!!! (Damn Library and timed PCs!) Lovey... I will reply soon! |
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#42 | |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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#43 |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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... Damned Library computer screwed up my message!!!
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#44 | |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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Quote:
GOOD! Lovey don't give up. Not every person out there is going to offer you pain and abuse. Many might... but there are a few good and kind people out there. The trick is to seek them out. I have no idea where or what you have searched, but maybe I can tell you a bit of my story. Three years ago I WANTED TO DIE. I WANTED TO CEASE TO EXIST. I hated myself. I hated my life. I wanted to die!!!!! ...but... I wanted to live... too. I just wanted to stop the hurt. I just wanted help. I didnt believe in God, either. Not anymore. But I was raised Catholic and its all I knew. I "crawled" to the nearest church. I didnt believe in God, but the pastor didnt care, not then and there. He was there for me. He listened... He helped me. He offered hope. ... I still felt like shit. There are NO "lightning bolt miracles"... None that I have experienced. But there was "something". There was a man who listened. Later there was a community that listened.. and helped. There is help. There is hope... There is a "Heavenly Father", and I KNOW He works through good people out there that actually care. I dont know if you have a church. I dont know that you were raised in one, but I encourage you to reach out to one. EVEN IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD. I'm sure that most if not ALL churches will NOT turn you away. AND IF ONE DOES!... well, it wasnt meant for you to begin with. Go to another. They may guide you to organizations that can help you. No money? No medical insurance??.. I hear ya!!! The govt may do lousy things, but there are things out there for you. No they are not the "best". Yes, there is waiting and long lines. BUT ITS THERE. FIGHT! Fight dammit!! Dont give up. Do all you can do to "save your life!" You ARE worth it!!! ... and if you cant "save your life". If your illness is bound to take your life, then... pray... ask for strength, and peace in dealing with your situation. "Grace"... comes in the darkest moments. It does. |
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#45 |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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(I have to reply in sections because of these timed Library PCs)
Lovey, theres not much I can do for you but offer you a few words of encouragement... But YOU can find love and support ALL around you! Family?..no? How bout friends? No?? How bout an organization? A Church? Not EVERYONE is going to turn away! Seek... AND pray. Pray for the things in your life that you are grateful for! ... I bet YOU DO have a few things! Pray for others. For YES, there are others much more less fortunate than you, and humbley pray for help, and along with that, pray for the strength and inner peace to deal with whatever God's Will has instore for you DESPITE your best efforts ( Notice: despite you TRYING your best to seek out help and solutions) I'll pray for you. Thats all I can do, but you know what!? That IS a lot! For NOTHING is impossible with God. May you accept God's everypresent blessings, Lovey. Peace. ________ "It is not joy that brings gratefulness, but gratefulness that brings joy!" |
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#46 |
Refugee
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,538
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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:Things are extremely bad here right now, :about as bad as they can get.
I don't wish to sound condescending, but as Bono would say; "its just a moment, this time will pass..." Things get better and worse, the shifts of time and life, what can I say. I really do hope things get better for you, and as pathetic and corny as this sounds, I will think of you in my meditative sessions, which I think of as prayers. AS for death, what can I say? The opposite of Life and therefore incomprehensive to us. Tis the 'undiscovered country' that haunts the imagination and cripples the hope of life, but it shouldn't. Life and death are things that can't be deemed as good or bad,or right or wrong. They happen. Marcus Aurelius once said that 'life is opinion', if that is the case, then death is the opposite; you can't really do death justice for it happens and no matter what you do it will happen to you. Death is neither good or bad, not even when it happens to people who apparently do not deserve it. It all depends on you and your faith; you gotta have faith. Personally, my faith only takes me so far. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" isnt my favourite song of all time without a reason; it contains the summary of my faith; "I believe in kingdom come, then all the colours will be bleed into one... bleed into one... and yes I'm still running. You broke the bonds and you loosened the chains, carried the cross of my shame; oh my shame! You know I believe it... But I still haven't found what I'm looking for..." Its not enough to have faith, for faith needs a doubt, you gotta have passion for what you believe in and enjoy the moment, but even thats not enough. I was born and raised Catholic, but eventually rejected Catholicism as a fascist and out-dated doctrine, but retained what I thought was the core of the religion; Jesus and his teachings. This was eventually 'melded' with some Hindu and Yoga teachings to evolve into something I like to call "Spirituality". So really, I don't have a religion. I try to be a reasonable human being and I hope not to upset the balance of karma by not fouling it up with bastardly deals (doesn't always work, though, as my friends will tell you). Thats really all I can do, I'm a stoic when it comes to death and all that, for I can't say I KNOW or BELIEVE what happens. I am open to the possibility of reincarnation, and yet, I am also open to the possibility of my convergence into some energy that will float around somewhere. I do not believe in me floating up to the heavens and meeting St. Peter and then being judged... I dont even think of God as 'our father', I think of it all as energy. Death is neither good or bad, it happens. Life concerns me more, though. Ant. |
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#47 |
Refugee
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,538
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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:Things are extremely bad here right now, :about as bad as they can get.
I don't wish to sound condescending, but as Bono would say; "its just a moment, this time will pass..." Things get better and worse, the shifts of time and life, what can I say. I really do hope things get better for you, and as pathetic and corny as this sounds, I will think of you in my meditative sessions, which I think of as prayers. AS for death, what can I say? The opposite of Life and therefore incomprehensive to us. Tis the 'undiscovered country' that haunts the imagination and cripples the hope of life, but it shouldn't. Life and death are things that can't be deemed as good or bad,or right or wrong. They happen. Marcus Aurelius once said that 'life is opinion', if that is the case, then death is the opposite; you can't really do death justice for it happens and no matter what you do it will happen to you. Death is neither good or bad, not even when it happens to people who apparently do not deserve it. It all depends on you and your faith; you gotta have faith. Personally, my faith only takes me so far. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" isnt my favourite song of all time without a reason; it contains the summary of my faith; "I believe in kingdom come, then all the colours will be bleed into one... bleed into one... and yes I'm still running. You broke the bonds and you loosened the chains, carried the cross of my shame; oh my shame! You know I believe it... But I still haven't found what I'm looking for..." Its not enough to have faith, for faith needs a doubt, you gotta have passion for what you believe in and enjoy the moment, but even thats not enough. I was born and raised Catholic, but eventually rejected Catholicism as a fascist and out-dated doctrine, but retained what I thought was the core of the religion; Jesus and his teachings. This was eventually 'melded' with some Hindu and Yoga teachings to evolve into something I like to call "Spirituality". So really, I don't have a religion. I try to be a reasonable human being and I hope not to upset the balance of karma by not fouling it up with bastardly deals (doesn't always work, though, as my friends will tell you). Thats really all I can do, I'm a stoic when it comes to death and all that, for I can't say I KNOW or BELIEVE what happens. I am open to the possibility of reincarnation, and yet, I am also open to the possibility of my convergence into some energy that will float around somewhere. I do not believe in me floating up to the heavens and meeting St. Peter and then being judged... I dont even think of God as 'our father', I think of it all as energy. Death is neither good or bad, it happens. Life concerns me more, though. Ant. |
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#48 | |
She wore graaaapes
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Slightly north of the Lone Star state
Posts: 1,800
Local Time: 11:14 AM
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Quote:
Welcome to interference Ant. Your first few posting have been interesting. *O2 sits back and waits for Free Your Mind regulars (foray, SweetOn, trash, 80's, martha, and the rest of ya)* ------------------ "See, the rock star gets his way! Thank you very much. This feels very Elvis. Thank you." Bono ~ Houston, Texas 4-02-01 |
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#49 |
Refugee
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,538
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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"Welcome to interference Ant. Your first few posting have been interesting."
LOL. Thankyou! I've actually been a member of the forum for quite some time, but have been somewhat timid to reply to some subjects... until now! Ant. |
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#50 |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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Anthony, your view on Catholicism as "outdated and fascist" is... interesting.
It's all about faith, right??? I'm Catholic, and I dont take offense to your opinion. As I see it, I worship and praise God, not the Roman Catholic Church. Peace. ------------------ My love for you It's in the things I do and say If I wanna live I gotta Die to myself someday. Surrender. |
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#51 |
Refugee
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,538
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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"It's all about faith, right???" It is, and don't get me wrong, just becuase you're catholic it doesn't mean I'm going to be opposed everything you say. Its wonderful that you praise GOD and not the church, but it has been known that people do tend to confuse the two. I think of the church as fascist for its views on homosexuals, and I think it outdated for its views on contraception. Very silly indeed. Ant. |
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#52 |
The Fly
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: LA
Posts: 82
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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Death is a disease like any other disease and can be cured like every other disease. The fact that man has continually failed in trying to cure death has made him accept it as his necessary destiny in life. Scientists now believe that in around 150 years it will be possible to keep people alive forever through cell rejuvanation. But you know what, to each their own and if people like the idea of dying, then rot in good health.
~rougerum |
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#53 |
ONE
love, blood, life Join Date: May 2001
Location: Angie Jolie lover from Belfast Norn Ireland. I LOVE YOU ANGIE! Im a Bono fan!
Posts: 13,169
Local Time: 06:14 PM
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Ur all scaring me!!!!!!
Im afraid to move now! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#54 | |
Acrobat
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:14 PM
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Quote:
The body, a simple vessel, rots. The soul does not. Peace ------------------ My love for you It's in the things I do and say If I wanna live I gotta Die to myself someday. Surrender. |
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