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Old 08-16-2001, 12:19 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Trash Can:
[BI HATED that my mother died of cancer. I wanted to die myself... but, after a time, I realized I had to go on. I actually "let go".
I STILL cry, yes. I still feel sad. But I also feel great joy in the blessings of my life. You know, after a time, when I did NOT constantly think of my mother's death and felt sad about it,... I felt GUILTY! "How dare I not moupe (sp?) and hang my head and shake my fists and cry out!????".Peace.[/B]
TC, that is touching. I know how you feel. I felt that way after my brother and father died.

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Old 08-16-2001, 03:03 AM   #22
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That was beautiful Trash Can, and your right about letting go of the one's who passed away. And I can understand and relate to the feeling "guilty" when you don't think about the death of that loved one everyday. Im kinda going through this myself right now. I'm learning to "let go." Its really, really hard though.

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[This message has been edited by SweetOnU2 (edited 08-15-2001).]
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Old 08-16-2001, 07:00 PM   #23
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I'm so afraid of death. I just hate the fact that someday I'll be gone while the earth will still be spinning. I'm so jealous of people who can deal with that. But I guess it's the only way to overcome this fear, by facing it and accepting it, like a natural thing, a normal part of the life process.
We can't always run away from it. It's like trying to hide from our own shadow, I think.
Anyway, forget this theory. I'm still afraid of it. I don't want to die!




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Old 08-16-2001, 07:08 PM   #24
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I don't want to die, either!
You don't think I'm afraid?
If someone were to put a gun in my face right now, you better believe it would scare me (plus... I'd need a change of underwear).

Fear... is natural. Obsessive fear, or irrational fear is not. I can't and won't spend my life curled up in the fetal position in some dark corner, though. I may die 5 minutes from now ( Boy that would really bumm out these library people, too!)
or 60 years from now ( ohhh God, Thats TOO much!), BUT right now... I live. I'm grateful and I TRY to be joyous.

Just be careful, be healthy, be smart, and enjoy what you have.
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Old 08-17-2001, 09:25 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Trash Can:
You don't think I'm afraid?
If someone were to put a gun in my face right now, you better believe it would scare me
you'd be more afraid of the gun then of dying. i know that the gun would be the thing causing your dead but still.

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Old 08-17-2001, 10:17 AM   #26
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Death is the start of something new. Its as much part of our lifes as it is to be born.
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Old 08-20-2001, 12:19 AM   #27
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No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks

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Old 08-20-2001, 02:52 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by STU234:
No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

((({{{STU234}}})))

Giving you a big hug and a kiss on the forehead 'cause that's what I do when I don't know what to say.

What's got you feeling so down? There are alot of kind people out here who could probably share some words of wisdom that might help.



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Old 08-20-2001, 07:14 AM   #29
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Coincidentally, I was at a funeral today. And the thing that I have worked out about death that is so hard to deal with is the lack of control we have once that person is gone. Sure, death itself is inevitable. But after they are gone, we have no way of channeling or controlling the feeling of loss. We cant do anything to get rid of or lessen the pain, the loss, the 'if only's' that go through our minds. Nothing makes it easier. I have been trying to think of any situation that matches that and couldn't. I personally always manage to find a way to deal with bad things, it may not be easy, and it may take a great deal of time, but I got there in the end. I suppose the pain fades with death, and the memories are easier as we remember the good things and not the pain and hurt. But its a time thing, and we cannot mentally or emotionally speed it up or actively do something to help ourselves.

ST, I dont have wise words for you. But I know that life is hard, it is depressing, its many bad things. Its also very busy, and events happen, people affect you, your circumstances change constantly. Whatever is bad doesnt stay bad for long. I wont say it will pass whatever it is that has you sad. But whatever it is may change, end or get pushed back in your day to day prioities as time goes on. Some things we never forget or get over, but nothing will be on the forefront of your mind to burden you forever. It may be overtaken by more heart ache and tragedy, it may not. No one knows, and that can be hard. It takes an unfortunate soul to experience a life of pain with no happiness amongst it to balance out the hurt. I hope you arent one of those. I also hope you can draw strength from something, somewhere in your life right now.
Take care.
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Old 08-20-2001, 09:44 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by STU234:
No. I'd give anything to be dead right now; life sucks


Hmmm... I don't know if this was meant as a joke, or just a "flipant" remark.

STU, I don't believe you.

"I'd give anything to be dead right now"?
Buddy... Death is free. Death is "easy".
To kill oneself doesn't cost anything (monitarily). You can do it anytime you like...


BUT, I don't think YOU want to die!!!!


"Life sucks"???

Really?
WHY?

And you think death does NOT suck? You think you are free from pain in the afterlife??... IF you choose to take your own life.

Life... and DEATH has its conscequences.

Or do you NOT believe in God???
No wonder you think life sucks!

YOU WANT THE PAIN TO STOP... Not your life to stop.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

There is hope. There is a better way. There is an answer. There is JOY... Joy... Imagine that!????

But, it's not easy.
"To end suffering takes great suffering."
"Consequences".

Do you want it?
Hope? Joy?

You CAN have it.

But, you need to admit that, "There is a God... And it's NOT you."

You cannot get out of this alone. You just can't. Sorry.

You need help. WE ALL DO.

YOU make the first move... You reach out for help... And it will all start to get better.
"Domino Effect".

BUT, No one can do it for you. YOU have got to want to.

Come onnnnnnnnnnnn. You CAN do it!

Life is pain... yes. Life is not fair. Yes.

BUT here we all are... in the middle of it...

And there ARE "Roses among the thorns".

I'll pray for you STU234. Will you pray for me too???




May God show you his Grace.
(ohhh, darn... BUT, you have to look for THAT too!!!)


In the words of James Brown, "Get up!!!! Get on up!!"


Peace
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Old 08-20-2001, 09:52 AM   #31
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See STU234, there are all sorts of kind, wise people here. Listen to Trash, he's one of them.
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Old 08-20-2001, 05:37 PM   #32
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It is. But...I guess i'll be finding out for sure pretty soon.

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Old 08-20-2001, 07:14 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lovey Dovey:
It is. But...I guess i'll be finding out for sure pretty soon.


Ok Lovey, I'll "bite". Why do you say "pretty soon"???
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Old 08-20-2001, 09:15 PM   #34
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Things are extremely bad here right now, about as bad as they can get.
So now because of all that I cant eat or sleep, i feel sick, cant see a DR, have a heart problem that is hopefully minor. Tons of other things complicating everything, i dont think i am going to make it and i guess i dont really care anymore. If i die i will see for myself if there is a Heaven and a God and if there is, then i will be happy and free at last. If there isnt..oh well, its beyond my control anyway.
My friends either cant or wont help. There is just too much going on,and without a small fortune and a good lawyer or other allies, i cant get out of this. It's hopeless, ive already tried.
But i'm probably not giving up just yet, possibly soon though. Very long story.
I certainly dont want to die. But i cant take anymore pain and abuse from people.

Hey - I promise, if ghosts can type...I'll still be here!
I'll let everyone know.

[This message has been edited by Lovey Dovey (edited 08-20-2001).]
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Old 08-23-2001, 12:42 AM   #35
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Like O2, Angela Harlem & Trash Can--

Thanks for the words of encouragement!
Unfortunately, I made some big/serious mistakes today God I wish I could take it all back (if anyone really wants to know what happened i'll tell you, i need to learn to talk to people anyway, and it is not like lots don't already know about it)

But again, Thanks for caring. . .


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Old 08-23-2001, 12:50 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by STU234:

Unfortunately, I made some big/serious mistakes today (if anyone really wants to know what happened i'll tell you, i need to learn to talk to people anyway,

Awww, what's a matter sweetie??

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Old 08-23-2001, 04:59 AM   #37
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What's wrong STU234? You don't have to tell me, but if you need to talk to someone I'm here.... I've been through hell and almost did something stupid too... gosh, hope your ok.

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.. *Monica* ..
(.(.* *.).)


[This message has been edited by SweetOnU2 (edited 08-23-2001).]
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Old 08-23-2001, 07:07 AM   #38
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Hope you are feeling better about things by the time you read this ST. You dont have to talk about anything you dont feel comfortable with. But rest assured there are countless people here who are more than happy to lend an ear.

Or if you wanna talk to a complete stranger...(?~ Your sig kinda throws me! I dont THINK I know you do I? )

Im at angelaharlem@hotmail.com

Hope your troubles get some answers soon.

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Old 08-23-2001, 10:05 AM   #39
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Here are some beautiful lyrics from the new ASIA album...

READY TO GO HOME

On the street below these walls
Where I used to walk
Now I can barely crawl
All this darkness rising tall
Lord, shine a light for me
I'm waiting to be called
I'm ready to go home
I'm ready to receive
Forgiveness for my sins
I'm ready to begin

Take this river to the sea
Where the delta flows
The tide is washing over me
Guide this soul to Heaven's door
Show me where tomorrow lies
I'm waiting to be home

I'm ready to lay down
I'm ready now to sleep
A promise I must keep
I'm ready to go home

Sometimes I lay down with these memories
Breathe shallow, deep inside of me
Time has run its course with me
And I'm ready to go home

When the evening shadows fall
When the time has come
I let defences fall
To surrender's to survive
I will give up everything
To those I leave behind

I'm ready to go home
I'm ready to receive
Forgiveness for my sins
I'm ready to begin

I'm ready to lay down
I'm ready now to sleep
A promise I must keep
I'm ready to go home

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Old 08-23-2001, 07:13 PM   #40
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Home..Hard to know what it is if you never had one...

[This message has been edited by Miss MacPhisto (edited 08-23-2001).]
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