I love you, sweetie.

[pax]

I think that there are people in this world--and I, unfortunately enough, am one of them--who appreciate being told, for example, that they are "missed" or "loved" or "pretty." If I'm in a relationship with a guy, even if we're not a *per se* couple, I still think it's nice if someone says they miss me or something.

It's on my mind because I'm sorta/kinda "seeing" a guy who lives a good 1.5-2 hours away from me, and tonight I was talking to him on the phone and I said that I missed him, and wished I could be with him. He was pretty unresponsive and tried to justify it all by saying that he wanted to be honest, and he was tired and so forth. But my question to all of you is: Is it truly that difficult and self-betraying to just say "I miss you too"?

As always, I seek to know: AM I BEING UNREASONABLE HERE?

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If you cannot live together in here, you cannot live together out there, let me tell ya. --Bono

You've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice... --Bono

[The Wanderer]

well, the problem here may be that he doesn't truly miss you, I hope I'm wrong here and that maybe he was just in a bad mood or doesn't like to "say the words," especially over the phone, but if he actually doesn't miss you, why would you want him to lie and say he did? I mean you say you are only "sorta/kinda seeing" the guy, that doesn't sound very committed and binding, I don't know, maybe I am missing something here... ?

[pax]

Well, on one hand, he doesn't want to define our relationship; on the other hand, we agreed not to see other people. So I suppose we're more than just "seeing" each other, but we're not strictly a couple.

(His word choice, not mine.)

[The Wanderer]

well, that's a bit confusing, it sounds like he's not sure what he wants, yet he obviously thinks there is the potential for something special with you... I sincerely wish the best of luck and hope things work out for you

[brettig]

I never know when to say that and when not to...if i do say that its usually at the wrong time!

[Angela Harlem]

He sound's like a garden variety commitment phobe. There's nothing wrong with that esp. as you say he lives a couple of hours away. But you know some blokes tend to get nervous once you use the term 'relationship'. They think you are about to come up with a whole list of expectations, which is not always the case.

Hope ya sort it our dude.

[S|aney]

That's a very frustrating situation to be in. You can do better than this guy. Sorry if I come across a bit harsh with this, but let me tell you what you should do...

First, GET RID of this guy! You DESERVE the best. If you are seeing a guy and he's not willing to discuss or define your relationship, then he's not worth it! If you continue to see him, he will only bring you frustration and heartache. HE NEEDS TO GO!

Next, you need to believe that YOU DO deserve the best. As Sicy once put it so eloquently, "The right one is out there for you. Its just a matter of how long you have to wait." Don't give up and settle for second or third best, just to avoid being alone!

And lastly, Don't ever settle for something that you don't want. You know that you don't want a guy that doesn't make you feel wanted and missed. There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel special. I know the road ahead of you won't be easy, but I'm begging you to do what's BEST for YOU! I know it's easier said than done, but please believe in yourself. Don't ever be ashamed to express yourself. If this guy doesn't want to express himself, then don't let it become your problem. Let him go bother someone else with his silence and resistance.

If a guy fails to appreciate the fact that you are a special and unique woman, then he needs to hit the road. Let somebody else train him. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME AND EMOTIONS ON SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!

[Angela Harlem]

yay for S|aney!

*claps and whistles from sidelines*

He has the balls to say what we're all prolly thinking. You said yourself you want a man that lets you know you are missed and loved and all that caper. He is not letting you know that, so to make an equation, you dont want this guy really? Well, you DO, but deep down or further down the track?

Good luck Pax. You do deserve better. Everyone deserves what they want.

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

There's no use in going after someone that's obviously wrong for you, or not "meant to be".

Slaney said it all perfectly, lose that guy!!!

[80sU2isBest]

Originally posted by paxetaurora:
I think that there are people in this world--and I, unfortunately enough, am one of them--who appreciate being told, for example, that they are "missed" or "loved" or "pretty." If I'm in a relationship with a guy, even if we're not a *per se* couple, I still think it's nice if someone says they miss me or something.
Is it truly that difficult and self-betraying to just say "I miss you too"?
As always, I seek to know: AM I BEING UNREASONABLE HERE?

No, you're not being unreasonable at all. No one should have any reason at all not to say "I missed you, also". It hurts to say that to someone when they've been away, and they don't return it.

[Bonovation]

Could it be tho that he's just uncomfortable expressing emotions???.. alot of ppl are

My b/f was never one for public displays of emotion (ie holding hands in public etc) or saying that he loves me if other were close by etc etc. As time has gone on, I've worn him down and now he doesn't think twice about it.


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Tanya

Being one can be great but respecting differences can be greater. - Bono in Belfast, August 26, 1997

[pax]

Thank you, everyone. I think this is, for me, one of those cases where you kind of know what you should do and just don't want to do it.

God bless.

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If you cannot live together in here, you cannot live together out there, let me tell ya. --Bono

You've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice... --Bono