Hot New Craze: Bike Sex

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A_Wanderer

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A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.
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If it was a small child, I could understand the concern, if it was a consenting man or woman then what's the issue, I don't see how this is harming anybody; one could do it on stage as transgressive performance art.
 
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Okay, all kinds of weird stuff goes on in hostels at night!
 
I thought this was going to be a thread about people having sex while riding bikes.
 
phillyfan26 said:
I thought this was going to be a thread about people having sex while riding bikes.

Same. :lol:


But, really, why was he arrested? He wasn't doing it in public, so I don't see the problem.
 
You know how when you fill out job applications one of the questions always is Have you ever been arrested? And if you answer yes there the next bit is -- if yes, please explain. I'd love to read that response. :lmao:
 
On Boston Legal this season they have a character who has objectphilia, she has relationships (don't know about sex, they haven't shown that :wink: ) with objects because she has extreme fear of intimacy with humans. It really exists, so maybe this guy has it.
 
I guess a “ménage-a-trios” would have to involve a tandem bike. And I’d imagine that the “extreme sport” version would involve a unicycle.
 
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