Does stupidity (like this here) still shock you, as it does me?

foray · 03-13-2002, 03:42 AM

Quote:

CHRISTCHURCH - Christian Heritage Party Leader Graham Capill is calling on the public to boycott all Christian bookstores selling 'the Bible' - a publication he claims is "filled end-to-end with depraved pornography, and should be banned."

"While individuals are free to choose their own damnation by going to an R18 movie or hiring a smutty video," stated the Reverend Capill. "It is quite another thing to display a book to the general public on your shelves which, amongst other things, portrays the use of female slaves and captives as sexual toys,1 portrays polygamy and concubinage as something that's "normal"2, and graphically describes a depraved scene of drunken incest between a father and his two daughters."3

"What particularly disturbs me," added Graham Capill. "Is that this morally corrupt book can be freely picked up and read by children! We must ensure that free access to this material is restricted or, as I would prefer, removed entirely."

Ms Janice Sappho of the Office of Film and Literature Classification confirmed that the Bible was currently awaiting censorship classification.

"The Films, Videos, and Publications Classification Act lists six categories of material which are automatically objectionable," explained Ms Sappho.

"The Bible fails on all six."

"Within its pages, we found such demented acts as the taking of 32,000 virgins as booty by the Israelite army, the slaughter of their entire families in front of them - and some 32 of the virgins being offered to their tribal god.4 The book goes on to tell filthy stories of men who "eat their own dung, and drink their own piss,"5 and includes another story of 600,000 men being circumcised at a place perversely named "the Hill of Foreskins".6

"At one point in the book God threatens to spread dung on the faces of his own priests!7 It's sick stuff, like I've never encountered before," the clearly disgusted Government Censor commented.

Reverend Capill stressed the potential damage caused by the "morally turpid" material contained in the Bible, and claimed that "studies done around the world have shown the link between reading the Bible and sexual crime."

"What worries me is what happens to the mind of a Bible-reader after he reads of, for example, Onan having sexual intercourse with his dead brother's widow and deliberately "spilling his semen on the ground."8 What sort of ethic does that teach young people reading these words, I ask?

"What sort of ethic is taught from a book that describes a woman "seizing another man's genitals", and prescribes that "you shall cut off her hand; show no pity"?9 It's most un-Christian, that's what it is!"

"Although I would rather not, I forced myself to read all the pornographic material in the Bible. In one disturbing incident a woman is "wantonly raped, and abused all through the night", before being found by her master, cut up into twelve pieces and then sent to different parts of Israel.10 You can just imagine what sort of demented psychos this literature would produce if people took it seriously," lamented Reverend Capill.

"Why, one book [The Song of Solomon] even contains poems that glorify a love affair between two unmarried persons! Instead of the Christian view of sex - as a life-long commitment of love within a stable relationship - we read such sexually explicit descriptions as "Your two breasts are like two fawns,"11 and "They played the whore in their youth; their breasts were caressed there, and their virgin bosoms were fondled,"12 and "My beloved thrust his hand into the opening, and my inmost being yearned for him."13

"These lewd acts should be confined to the secrecy of the marriage chamber," protested Reverend Capill. "Yet we find this perverse material being offered on shelves to our children!"

"If the Bible is not banned immediately, the very moral fabric of society is at risk!" Graham Capill warned. n

Ref: 1. 2 Samuel 5:13, Judges 19-21, Numbers 31:18; 2. Genesis 15:3; 29:20-28; 35:22 et al; 3. Genesis 19:30-38; 4. Numbers 31:17-40; 5. 2 Kings 18:27, Isaiah 36:12; 6. Joshua 5:3; 7. Malachi 2:3; 8. Genesis 38:9; 9. Deuteronomy 25:11-12; 10. Judges 19:25-29; 11. Song of Solomon 4:5; 7:3; 12. Ezekiel 23:3; 13. Song of Solomon 8:10.

I read some racist comments from politicians on the same website, too. Sigh... some folks just don't GET it.

foray

[This message has been edited by foray (edited 03-13-2002).]

brettig · 03-13-2002, 04:00 AM

thats gotta be a joke, surely

@ some people

Angela Harlem · 03-13-2002, 05:32 AM

"What worries me is what happens to the mind of a Bible-reader after he reads of, for example, Onan having sexual intercourse with his dead brother's widow and deliberately "spilling his semen on the ground."8 What sort of ethic does that teach young people reading these words, I ask? "

Use a towel?

"What sort of ethic is taught from a book that describes a woman "seizing another man's genitals", and prescribes that "you shall cut off her hand; show no pity"?9 It's most un-Christian, that's what it is!"

It is definately more Christian to kick a man in the nuts. Dont grab!

"Why, one book [The Song of Solomon] even contains poems that glorify a love affair between two unmarried persons! Instead of the Christian view of sex - as a life-long commitment of love within a stable relationship - we read such sexually explicit descriptions as "Your two breasts are like two fawns,"11 and "They played the whore in their youth; their breasts were caressed there, and their virgin bosoms were fondled,"12 and "My beloved thrust his hand into the opening, and my inmost being yearned for him."13 "

Hmm, he has never read any Joan Collins trash.

I thought Christian were big readers of the bible?

AM · 03-13-2002, 06:12 AM

Not George Lucas · 03-13-2002, 08:22 AM

That's pretty funny. What site did you find it on? It doesn't sound Landover-esque.

------------------

Truth is offensive.
I'm morally opposed to rape, and I would never rape anyone, but I think, ultimately, it's up to the rapist and no one else.

pax · 03-13-2002, 10:45 AM

Oh, come on. That has to be from the Onion or something.

------------------
If you cannot live together in here, you cannot live together out there, let me tell ya. --Bono

You've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice... --Bono

cloudimani · 03-13-2002, 11:25 AM

yes and Harry Potter promotes interest in the Occult to unsuspecting children...

------------------
look at the moon t-t-t-t-t when a horse runs through dark waters then the pig has no legs.

�*~darkcloud~*�

Hewson · 03-13-2002, 01:06 PM

If word gets around that the bible is loaded with "depraved pornography", "sexual toys", "incest" and such....lots more people might start reading it.

melon · 03-13-2002, 05:13 PM

I knew it was humor the minute I read it, but the article makes a lot of sense factually. The Bible would be considered an obscene book, if it had not been a holy book, full of enough violence and sex to tip off modern censors.

Melon

------------------
"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time

foray · 03-14-2002, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Achtung Bubba:
Shock of shocks... it's fake.

In a search that took two seconds I discovered the source:

A website called The Kumara, an ADMITTED "humor" site.

Foray, check your sources before you start bandying about declarations that others "don't get it".

Thank goodness. Looks like I'm the one who didn't 'get it'. I'm not used to that sorta humour.

foray

[This message has been edited by foray (edited 03-13-2002).]

Achtung Bubba · 03-14-2002, 01:17 AM

No problemo, foray.

Angela Harlem · 03-14-2002, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by melon:
I knew it was humor the minute I read it, but the article makes a lot of sense factually. The Bible would be considered an obscene book, if it had not been a holy book, full of enough violence and sex to tip off modern censors.

Melon

Thanks Bubba for your research. I have to admit, humour aside, it got me wondering. Because it is a book of faith, does that mean it should escape censorship?

BabyGrace · 03-14-2002, 03:47 AM

"studies done around the world have shown the link between reading the Bible and sexual crime."

that part was highly hilarious

Achtung Bubba · 03-14-2002, 03:57 AM

Shock of shocks... it's fake.

In a search that took two seconds I discovered the source:

A website called The Kumara, an ADMITTED "humor" site.

Foray, check your sources before you start bandying about declarations that others "don't get it".

Salome · 03-14-2002, 03:58 AM

Quote:

What sort of ethic is taught from a book that describes a woman "seizing another man's genitals", and prescribes that "you shall cut off her hand; show no pity"?9 It's most un-Christian, that's what it is!"

this is my fav bit

------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it

HeartlandGirl · 03-16-2002, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Angela Harlem:
Thanks Bubba for your research. I have to admit, humour aside, it got me wondering. Because it is a book of faith, does that mean it should escape censorship?

Oooh, great point! (Can't wait to use that argument against hard-core Christians advocating censorship...)

------------------
U2 @ The Blooming Heart

Achtung Bubba · 03-16-2002, 07:36 PM

Well, the Bible shouldn't be censored because censorship is on the whole wrong. There are obvious exceptions (slander, statements that pose a "clear and present danger", etc.), but the Bible simply doesn't qualify.

But let's say, for the simple sake of argument, that I'm a "hard-core Christians advocating censorship."

(Freudian use of "hard-core", I'm sure.

)

If I DID advocate something like the censorship of pornography, would I be a hypocrite?

NO.

The reason is this: the Bible isn't porn. Certainly, most people who try to clearly define pornography have to use circular arguments ("I know it when I see it," etc.), but only the most ludicrously strict definitions of the word could cause you to suspect the Bible.

Certainly, all pornography involves sex, but not all works that involve sex are porn:

* Biology textbooks, which explain the processes of reproduction.

* Government documents, which explain which sexual acts are and are not legal.

* News paper reports on the passage of such laws.

* History books that talk about the passage of such laws.

* Biographies that discuss the sex lives of its subjects, etc.

The Bible falls into the category of books that involve sex but is not pornography for a few reasons: Like a biography, it mentions the sexual activities of its central characters (David, etc.). Like a legal code, it maps out what its practitioners believe moral and immoral. Unlike pornography, it's not in the least bit titulating (you ever read THE BIBLE to get off?). And unlike pornography, it clearly details the punishments of those who violate its law.

A similar attack on the Bible could be made about its excessive violence, but the same defense is used: it's comparable to a history book that details famous battles, and it's clearly not done to titilate the reader.

The only obvious reply is that, regardless of its intent, it COULD be used for pornographic purposes (a la Alex in "A Clockwork Orange"). My answer to that a simple, "So what?" A high school yearbook can be likewise corrupted.

So, while I personally don't believe in censorship, Christians who believe in it are not necessarily hypocrites.

Something you might want to keep in mind before you start attacking them.

U2002revolution! · 03-24-2002, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Achtung Bubba:
(you ever read THE BIBLE to get off?) .

mwahahahahaha! that made me laugh uncontrollably !

------------------
' I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name. . .'
.:. U2: Rock's Unbreakable Heart!

Love is...cold steel/Fingers too numb to feel/Squeeze the handle/Blow out the candle
Love is blindness.../A little death/Without mourning/No call/And no warning...

[Thanks Coach P]

MadelynIris · 03-24-2002, 04:38 PM

HAHAHA!!!!!

Another favorite is:
http://www.landoverbaptist.com

Mark
http://www.mp3.com/madelyniris

03-13-2002, 04:00 AM	#2
brettig New Yorker Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: heehee, ask george Posts: 3,194 Local Time: 03:53 PM	thats gotta be a joke, surely @ some people __________________

03-24-2002, 04:38 PM	#19
MadelynIris Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Craggy Island Posts: 1,504 Local Time: 03:53 PM	HAHAHA!!!!! Another favorite is: http://www.landoverbaptist.com Mark http://www.mp3.com/madelyniris __________________

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

03-13-2002, 05:32 AM	#3
Angela Harlem Jesus Online Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: a glass castle Posts: 30,163 Local Time: 07:53 AM	"What worries me is what happens to the mind of a Bible-reader after he reads of, for example, Onan having sexual intercourse with his dead brother's widow and deliberately "spilling his semen on the ground."8 What sort of ethic does that teach young people reading these words, I ask? " Use a towel? "What sort of ethic is taught from a book that describes a woman "seizing another man's genitals", and prescribes that "you shall cut off her hand; show no pity"?9 It's most un-Christian, that's what it is!" It is definately more Christian to kick a man in the nuts. Dont grab! "Why, one book [The Song of Solomon] even contains poems that glorify a love affair between two unmarried persons! Instead of the Christian view of sex - as a life-long commitment of love within a stable relationship - we read such sexually explicit descriptions as "Your two breasts are like two fawns,"11 and "They played the whore in their youth; their breasts were caressed there, and their virgin bosoms were fondled,"12 and "My beloved thrust his hand into the opening, and my inmost being yearned for him."13 " Hmm, he has never read any Joan Collins trash. I thought Christian were big readers of the bible?

03-13-2002, 06:12 AM	#4
AM Refugee Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: right underneath the north pole Posts: 2,409 Local Time: 07:53 PM

03-13-2002, 08:22 AM	#5
Not George Lucas Acrobat Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: South Bend, IN USA Posts: 399 Local Time: 08:53 PM	That's pretty funny. What site did you find it on? It doesn't sound Landover-esque. ------------------ Truth is offensive. I'm morally opposed to rape, and I would never rape anyone, but I think, ultimately, it's up to the rapist and no one else.

03-13-2002, 10:45 AM	#6
pax ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Ewen's new American home Posts: 11,412 Local Time: 04:53 PM	Oh, come on. That has to be from the Onion or something. ------------------ If you cannot live together in here, you cannot live together out there, let me tell ya. --Bono You've got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising your voice... --Bono

03-13-2002, 11:25 AM	#7
cloudimani Acrobat Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Ireland Posts: 483 Local Time: 08:53 PM	yes and Harry Potter promotes interest in the Occult to unsuspecting children... ------------------ look at the moon t-t-t-t-t when a horse runs through dark waters then the pig has no legs. �~darkcloud~�

03-13-2002, 01:06 PM	#8
Hewson Blue Crack Supplier Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Your own private Idaho Posts: 34,600 Local Time: 03:53 PM	If word gets around that the bible is loaded with "depraved pornography", "sexual toys", "incest" and such....lots more people might start reading it.

03-13-2002, 05:13 PM	#9
melon ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Ásgarðr Posts: 11,790 Local Time: 03:53 PM	I knew it was humor the minute I read it, but the article makes a lot of sense factually. The Bible would be considered an obscene book, if it had not been a holy book, full of enough violence and sex to tip off modern censors. Melon ------------------ "He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time

03-14-2002, 01:17 AM	#11
Achtung Bubba Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: One Nation. Under God. Posts: 1,513 Local Time: 03:53 PM	No problemo, foray.

03-14-2002, 03:47 AM	#13
BabyGrace Refugee Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: even NJ loves NY Posts: 2,095 Local Time: 03:53 PM	"studies done around the world have shown the link between reading the Bible and sexual crime." that part was highly hilarious

03-14-2002, 03:57 AM	#14
Achtung Bubba Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: One Nation. Under God. Posts: 1,513 Local Time: 03:53 PM	Shock of shocks... it's fake. In a search that took two seconds I discovered the source: A website called The Kumara, an ADMITTED "humor" site. Foray, check your sources before you start bandying about declarations that others "don't get it".

03-16-2002, 07:36 PM	#17
Achtung Bubba Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: One Nation. Under God. Posts: 1,513 Local Time: 03:53 PM	Well, the Bible shouldn't be censored because censorship is on the whole wrong. There are obvious exceptions (slander, statements that pose a "clear and present danger", etc.), but the Bible simply doesn't qualify. But let's say, for the simple sake of argument, that I'm a "hard-core Christians advocating censorship." (Freudian use of "hard-core", I'm sure. ) If I DID advocate something like the censorship of pornography, would I be a hypocrite? NO. The reason is this: the Bible isn't porn. Certainly, most people who try to clearly define pornography have to use circular arguments ("I know it when I see it," etc.), but only the most ludicrously strict definitions of the word could cause you to suspect the Bible. Certainly, all pornography involves sex, but not all works that involve sex are porn: * Biology textbooks, which explain the processes of reproduction. * Government documents, which explain which sexual acts are and are not legal. * News paper reports on the passage of such laws. * History books that talk about the passage of such laws. * Biographies that discuss the sex lives of its subjects, etc. The Bible falls into the category of books that involve sex but is not pornography for a few reasons: Like a biography, it mentions the sexual activities of its central characters (David, etc.). Like a legal code, it maps out what its practitioners believe moral and immoral. Unlike pornography, it's not in the least bit titulating (you ever read THE BIBLE to get off?). And unlike pornography, it clearly details the punishments of those who violate its law. A similar attack on the Bible could be made about its excessive violence, but the same defense is used: it's comparable to a history book that details famous battles, and it's clearly not done to titilate the reader. The only obvious reply is that, regardless of its intent, it COULD be used for pornographic purposes (a la Alex in "A Clockwork Orange"). My answer to that a simple, "So what?" A high school yearbook can be likewise corrupted. So, while I personally don't believe in censorship, Christians who believe in it are not necessarily hypocrites. Something you might want to keep in mind before you start attacking them.