do we indulge?

[Hailey]

is indulging feelings of sorrow or lonliness just laziness? I don't mean for people who have had trauma in their life, because for them it is a natural reaction and part of grief.

But for let's say the average American teenager who feels uneasy and miserable for no reason, isn't it up to us to decide how we want to deal with things mentally? this is the conclusion I'm coming to more and more often; that it is up to us to choose our own outlook, and although it is easier to sink into self-pity, regret, or even nostalgia, we can ultimately create our own happiness...

hope you don't mind the silly question, this is just something on my mind, in large part due to stuff I've been reading, and if anyone wants to discuss anything here, go for it.

 

[Lemonite]

You know, there's something that I've run into here at college that really pisses me off, and it is somewhat related to your topic.. But it's those boys and girls who sit around feeling sorry for themselves, or having low self esteem simply because they 'Don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend', It's the most annoying thing I've encountered, and ya just wanna give them a nice back of the hand to their face...


Just some thoughts,
L.Unplugged

 

[adam's_mistress]

No, I don't think laziness is a factor in an individual's choice to indulge in or feed sorrow or loneliness. You mentioned that say the "average" American teenager feels miserable for no reason - but how would any of us know there isn't a root cause for someone being miserable? Every cause has it's root, and when it comes to the individual and how he perceives what's going on around him in relationship to his life, it's all relative. You know, if you've had a bad day because you got in a fender bender or got chewed out by your boss, it might have been a bad day for you hbut to someone else, this might not have affected them so deeply. You know what I mean?

I also think in a teenager's case, mild depression or loneliness and sadness is something their still developing minds and bodies are exploring. Much like a 2 year old is discovering how far he can push the boundaries of his environment, and much how a child matures to become aware of the consequences of his every action, or even when someone hits a "midlife crisis" - a teenager exploring and/or indulging in certain emotions that produce a somewhat dramatic effect on his environment or his emotional state can be seen as (I hate to say it) a phase. And phases usually pass, or they come and go, depending on the individual.

As an adult and mother who is approaching midlife, I can view the stages of my life so far, and can view the stages my child and family members and friends are going through somewhat objectively. I also remember very clearly what it's like to be a teenager, let alone an awkward teenager who always felt out of place. I remember what it was like to flirt with emotions and feed on them which led to behavior that adult's chocked up as laziness. Hindsight does offer me 20/20, but also I work with a lot of young adults who are still discovering themselves and trying to situate themselves into an environment they feel awkward in.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

Originally posted by Lemonite:
It's the most annoying thing I've encountered, and ya just wanna give them a nice back of the hand to their face...

how lovely.

 

[erper]

i agree with haily and adam's mistress...
i think both opinions can exist together...

because yes there are a lot of factors involved in the emotional make up of a human being... there could be multiple reasons for being sad or lonely that all add up and make a situation worse, however

i do believe that it is possible to mentally control all that bad shit and look beyond that and realize... hey... life may have some fucked up things but hey im still alive are i not?... i wouldnt be able to feel those emotions if i wasnt alive...

i think alot about the U2 song Walk On...
and for a moment you turn back, oh no
be strong, walk on


you got to leave it behind

 

[foray]

It could also be just chemical imbalance.

foray

 

[Hailey]

Great response adam's_mistress...
I don't at all disagree that there is usually a cause behind these emotions, I didnt even realize I wrote that (Im not exactly the best at expressing what I mean), I was just wondering if maybe people, specifically teens, can spiral into depression just because it's easier. I know it is from my own experiences, but I also realize it's kinda natural for most kids to go through this at some point. Lonliness and awkwardness are normal feelings but I think in a lot of cases it's up to us to change that. Lemonite, maybe you could sit down and talk about it with them, cause it might make you less angry (Im guessing you're frustrated for them) and I'm sure it would help them out to know someone cares, and also to recieve advice.

and yeah fors, I realize that not all depression is something an individual can just turn around; I didn't mean to say that at all..

you're right too erper...they can exist togehter

I guess it was kind of stupid to start this topic because there are so many kinds of depression and so many reasons for it, so it's not something you can generalize, but I just wanted to talk about it so thanks.

 

[]{arao]{e]

It would help us to understand you if we knew what you have been reading.

 

[Lemonite]

Originally posted by KhanadaRhodes:
how lovely.

Apparently you've sat around with your thumb up your ass feeling sorry for yourself that you didn't have a loved one.. I feel sorry for you, There are many great things in life you probably missed.

L.Unplugged

 

[Hailey]

uhh.. Lemonite, as far as I know she did something about her feelings for a someone and appears to be quite happy now

I was reading Catcher In the Rye actually Karaoke, but the question didn't come specifically from the situation in that book, it came more from my own experiences plus some stuff I read that was related to Salinger's book. Hope that helps