just to clarify, i have never once said that his behavior was acceptable or even understandable because he was a powerful member of a party that has centered most of it's domestic policy around homophobia and aligned itself with virulently anti-gay organizations like Focus on the Family or the Family Research Council. what i am saying is that men in "the closet" (and women, too, but we're talking about men here) often behave in oddly self-destructive, pathological ways, such as chasing after 17 year old Congressional pages, which is every bit as numbskull-stupid as letting an intern perform oral sex on you in the Oval Office. it's downright stupid, and perhaps purposefully self-destructive, and in this case (as opposed to Monica) quite possibly criminal, but this is the type of behavior engendered by the closet. of course, most men in the closet do not behave this way; of course every man in the closet (and out) is responsible for his actions, and should have to pay the consequences of his actions. however, just as we talk about the "root causes" of things like terrorism that are never meant as excuses for terrorism, so can we talk about the psychological torment of the closet and how it can manifest in stupid, stupid behavior.
and, yes, i've said that as a gay man, i can rather viscerally understand what must have been Foley's inner torment, but i cannot and have not and will not excuse his actual actions.
i would also like to point out that it is far easier to say to someone, "oh, silly, just come out and deal with it!" than it is to actually be gay and have to deal with the consequences of coming out. there are always consequences -- always. would the GOP support an openly gay congressman? or would the homophobic elements i mentioned earlier have used their influence within the party (James Dobson gets consulted by the White House as to the appropriateness and Christian credentials of SCOTUS nominees, for Pete's sake) to get him axed?
while i agree, broadly, with virtually everything you're saying, i think that Foley's reality is sadly, and now tragically since he's now preyed upon teenagers and implicated them in his downward spiral, far more complicated and troubled than that.