Conclave To Choose U2's Bono As Next Pope

[U2@NYC]

Conclave To Choose U2's Bono As Next Pope

The Vatican said that the conclave of cardinals will officially announce on April 18th that the new Pope will be lead U2 singer Bono.

One hundred seventeen Roman Catholic Cardinals where eligible to take part in the vote. Over ninety percent of the cardinals voted for the U2 singer.

"Believe it or not, we love his music." Stated a Cardinal at St. Petersburg Square who wished to remain anonymous, "I know John Paul also loved his music. We use to play it through the Vatican Musak system."

"I think they are giving Bono the Papacy just to make him feel better about not winning the World Bank presidency." Stated a Vatican analyst, Johnston Sirumpium, "I don't get why so many people think this guy is so great. He's just a singer, a good one, grant you, but he just sings."

Father Thomas Reed, a Jesuit priest who is also the editor of "U2 And Catholics" magazine explains the effect Bono, as the new Pope, will have on Catholicism.

"We needed a new look and feel for the Church." Stated Father Thomas Reed, "I think Bono is the person to make the Vatican hip again. I think he will be able to get everyone, regardless of who they are or what religion they are, to convert. That is what we want ultimately."

In other news, the Pope was buried today along with a box containing all the U2 albums ever produced.

http://www.thedailyfarce.com/world.cfm?story=2005\04\world_u2bonotobenextpope_04200500003

 

[shart1780]

If this were true I'd commit suicide.

 

[BVS]

If this were true I'd commit suicide.

Because that's what the Bible would say?

 

[coemgen]

I'd become Catholic.

 

[deep]

"We needed a new look and feel for the Church." Stated Father Thomas Reed, "I think Bono is the person to make the Vatican hip again. I think he will be able to get everyone, regardless of who they are or what religion they are, to convert. That is what we want ultimately."

can't wait for the new IPOD



will put it on shelf with my "Pope on a Rope Soap"

 

[deep]

I'd become Catholic.

i'll become a bear in the woods

 

[shart1780]

Because that's what the Bible would say?

Ugh...

 

[U2@NYC]

can't wait for the new IPOD

The problem is that the I-Pod is already white...

 

[coemgen]

deep, you find the wackiest crap man.

 

[BVS]

Ugh...

Oh, I thought you were telling us how you follow the Bible, I must be confused.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

the iPope

 

[MadelynIris]

In other news, the Pope was buried today along with a box containing all the U2 albums ever produced.

Not funny till that line. That line is killer funny.

 

[U2democrat]

I'd become Catholic.

 

[U2MaNaIcWeIdO]

That'll be the day....that'll be the day. I doubt it will ever happen...because Bono isn't an Ordained Priest...but whatever...sorry to ruin everyone mood!

 

[deep]

Why settle for Pope?

'Bono introduces the band and calls himself "the little lord Jesus," and leaves the stage first"

 

[U2@NYC]

That'll be the day....that'll be the day. I doubt it will ever happen...because Bono isn't an Ordained Priest...but whatever...sorry to ruin everyone mood!

According to the Catholic church, all you need to be elected Pope is "to be a Catholic non-married man"...

Anyway, Bono is not Catholic and is married... oh, well.

 

[verte76]

Bono as Pope? Hilarious, as he's not Catholic. He was baptized in the Anglican rite in Ireland, the Church of Ireland, his Protestant mother's church. His father *was* Catholic. There's nothing wrong with the Church of Ireland, but members can't become Pope.

 

[Macfistowannabe]

A joke thread, lol. Bono seems too secular, too married, and too protestant for nomination. Perhaps also too fond of hip hop...

I like deep's Pope on a Rope Soap.

 

[verte76]

Actually, Pope John Paul II made an appearance at a rock concert with the Eurythmics and a couple of other acts to promote debt relief. Bob Dylan also performed for him.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

At least the mitre would make him appear taller

You're not supposed to be attracted to The Pope, so that just wouldn't work out

 

[Macfistowannabe]

I wonder what Bono would trade for a pair of sunglasses if he hypothetically became Pope.

 

[bono_gal]

can't wait for the new IPOD



will put it on shelf with my "Pope on a Rope Soap"

omg!! the pope on rope soap! thatz just wrong! then again they sell mints with our lady on em in lourdes!

 

[verte76]

Pope-on-a-rope-soap........I've also seen a hilarious soap bottle mix, I forget the brand name, but it's a spoof on confession. It has stuff like "wash three times the number of sins off", all sorts of hilarious stuff like that all over the bottle. It came from some wierd store out in the suburbs, and my niece took it back to Italy with her. I haven't seen any of it since.

 

[nbcrusader]

Anyone ever eat in the "Pope room" at Bucca de Beppo?

 

[LyricalDrug]

I'd become Catholic.

Me too!

 

[BAW]

Anyone ever eat in the "Pope room" at Bucca de Beppo?

Several times

 

[verte76]

Anyone ever eat in the "Pope room" at Bucca de Beppo?

No.......where is this place? I take it it's someplace in Southern California, which is why I've never heard of it.

 

[deep]

No.......where is this place? I take it it's someplace in Southern California, which is why I've never heard of it.

joe's basement

the Pope's room is in the basement now.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

the iPope