Christenings

[Angela Harlem]

What are all your thoughts on christening children? My daughter is 7.5 months now, and its probably the time to get this done if we decide its the right thing. The topic has come up a couple of times from family and interested 'others', but due to our mixed religions on both sides (we're both a combination of C and E and Catholic) its been something we've gone around in circles on and can't come up with a decision.
So I thought I'd ask you wonderful people of TGIS for any thoughts, feelings, opinions etc, anything would be muchly appreciated.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I think it's a beautiful beginning for the child-obviously more significant at the time to the parent (s) than it is to the child But when she gets old enough to understand, I think it would be special and meaningful for her for you to explain, show her pictures, etc.

A recent experience I had at my church w/ a baptism, when my Pastor talked about the significance of Baptism, reconfirmed for me how important it is. Obviously you can only decide that for yourself, so good luck whatever your decision is

 

[nbcrusader]

This will vary between denominations, but infant baptism or christenings is really a covenant between you, your child and your church on how you will raise your child. The ceremony itself does nothing for the child.

 

[martha]

From a non-Christian viewpoint, I think it's a wonderful ritual for the family. I don't see how it could ever be the wrong thing to do. Since there may be issues raised about which faith should "get" to baptise her, you could have a minister from a different denomination do the baptism. Although that might annoy the more sensitive members of the family.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Thankyou guys for giving your thoughts. Its a very possible solution to get an independant minister to carry out the service. My grandmother is a devout Catholic and weirdly, is about the only one to not bring this up so far. Thankfully, I think everyone will be pleased with however we decide to go about it. My mum (this grandmother's daughter) was raised as a Catholic as well, but never actively continued it once she reached adulthood. I think being caned by her pious Catholic school teacher nuns did it for her, lol. She had me and my sister Christened, but we never attended church or anything. Only for weddings and funerals. My dad is C of E, and also never pushed that on us. He also didn't go to church. My deceased father in law was a Catholic, but fell out with the church years ago, but my mother in law still actively attends. She is C of E like my dad, and attends a multi denominational church. I've gone a couple of times with his family and they are a wonderful group of people. The minister who runs theirs is the one who performed our wedding. If anyone will do it, I hope it would be him.
Is it hypocritical or something to get this done, while not being an active member of any church? While we believe and everything, I don't want our views to infringe on her. When she is older, it should be entirely up to her what she wants to do, but as a start, I feel it is something we should do for her. Its so confusing. Thanks again for your replies, everyone.

 

[foray]

Angie, what is "C and E and Catholic"?

foray

 

[foray]

it sounds like vitamins

 

[Angela Harlem]

haha, Church of England. I think its just a division of the Catholic church, some King a few hundred years ago got the shits and started his own church or something. To be honest, I'm not sure how greatly it differs from any of the other denominations. My dad and mother in law are both poms, hence why they are this.

 

[Amsie]

I sorta wish i had never been christened... cos i mean, i was only a baby and i had no say in the matter (I like to have the last word on everything ) But i don't regret it... well only perhaps the fact that my parents are, like basically "heathens" and my mum only baptised me because her mum (my nana) was really devoutly catholic... i just think it's sort of b/s, that's all. I'm certainly not going to do anything my mother tells me when i'm an adult. God knows i don't now

 

[zonelistener]

I sorta wish i had never been christened... cos i mean, i was only a baby and i had no say in the matter (I like to have the last word on everything ) But i don't regret it... well only perhaps the fact that my parents are, like basically "heathens" and my mum only baptised me because her mum (my nana) was really devoutly catholic... i just think it's sort of b/s, that's all. I'm certainly not going to do anything my mother tells me when i'm an adult. God knows i don't now

Just wait, youngster...just wait.

 

[Amsie]

Just wait, youngster...just wait.

Wait for what exactly???
Ahhh, parents can be so clueless!!

 

[~*Buffalo*~]

haha, Church of England. I think its just a division of the Catholic church, some King a few hundred years ago got the shits and started his own church or something. To be honest, I'm not sure how greatly it differs from any of the other denominations. My dad and mother in law are both poms, hence why they are this.

Wasn't it something to do with marriage ... the King wanted to marry someone who wasn't Catholic, so he had the religion changed? That's as far as I know ... so now Anglican priests can be married, while Catholic priests can't.

Anyway, about your daughter's christening, I do think it's a nice idea. In the Catholic church, baptism as a baby isn't the end - you still have to be confirmed, which is more or less the child's decision. So in that way it's not entirely true to say that having a baby baptised gives them no say. That's my opnion anyway! I agree with nbcrusader that it's really more for the parents, but if it would help you as parents to know that your daughter has been christened, in terms of bringing her up in the church or whatever, than I don't think it's a bad thing at all!

 

[Amsie]

Wasn't it something to do with marriage ... the King wanted to marry someone who wasn't Catholic, so he had the religion changed? That's as far as I know ... so now Anglican priests can be married, while Catholic priests can't.

Wasn't it because he wasn't able to divorce the wife he already had?? So he made up his own religion where you could divorce and remarry? Bastard

 

[martha]

It was Henry VIII.

 

[oliveu2cm]

Is it hypocritical or something to get this done, while not being an active member of any church? While we believe and everything, I don't want our views to infringe on her. When she is older, it should be entirely up to her what she wants to do, but as a start, I feel it is something we should do for her. Its so confusing. Thanks again for your replies, everyone.

Hi Angela,

I think it is a nice tradition and it is a beautiful gift you can give your child. I don't think it's hypocritical if you are not an active member of a church- i've come to learn it's personal relationships (with God, with your child) that are important, not necessarily how much time you put in at church. I'm sure when she is older she'll want to know what you believe and take what you say seriously.. and if you do believe in the sacraments and think baptism is a precious experience, then this is a way to show her when she is older what you believe. (But it doesn't push your beliefs on her, either. She's too young now so you have to make the decisions, and when she's older she'll get to make her decisions).

You'll do fine. Thanks for sharing this with us!

Olive

 

[cell]

i still haven't had my daughter baptized or christened per say. i want her to be able to make this decision on her own when she understands the concept. i skitted around the issue for several years myself. my mom kept asking me about it over the years when i was married but i always avoided it. i want my daughter to be able to understand what its all about before she decides on it later. thats just me tho.

good luck angela!

 

[nbcrusader]

i still haven't had my daughter baptized or christened per say. i want her to be able to make this decision on her own when she understands the concept. i skitted around the issue for several years myself. my mom kept asking me about it over the years when i was married but i always avoided it. i want my daughter to be able to understand what its all about before she decides on it later. thats just me tho.

good luck angela!

You're right Icelle, your daughter is already at an age where she can make that choice for herself.

 

[zonelistener]

Wait for what exactly???
Ahhh, parents can be so clueless!!

Just a FYI.....I am not a parent, and am probably far away from being one.

In reality, it is the TEENAGER who is soooooooooo clueless. Again, give yourself some time to mature, then go back and read what you have written. I will guarantee you laugh at yourself...and end up agreeing with the adults.

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Just a FYI.....I am not a parent, and am probably far away from being one.

In reality, it is the TEENAGER who is soooooooooo clueless. Again, give yourself some time to mature, then go back and read what you have written. I will guarantee you laugh at yourself...and end up agreeing with the adults.

Just because someone is a teenager doesn't mean they're clueless, y'know.

*Fizz, who misses being a teenager.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Doesn't really matter what age you are, or where you're at with things in general. I'm only 26, a parent, but clueless about many things. Being my age which can be considered old or young depending on what the subject is, doesn't really make a scrap of difference to quite a few things we all face sooner or later.

But again many thanks for the replies. Our indecision over the whole thing is pretty much the issue we should be looking at first I think. I don't think it should be something we should do unless we are absolutely sure.

No one ever told us about all these things before we started a family! Someone needs to write a handbook on DIY parenting.

 

[Salome]

perhaps you could write that handbook yourself if you ever get bored



I don't think there's a wrong or right decision though

do what feels best for you & hub

 

[verte76]

It depends on the parents and the church. I love going to christenings, personally. It's a joyous experience for the parents. The infant doesn't know what's going on, of course. The baby may grow up to convert to another faith tradition or whatever--I did. I was raised a Protestant and was baptized as a baby. Then I grew up and became a Catholic, and my baptism was accepted by the Catholic Church as a baptism into the Church. Thus I didn't have to get baptized "again". I'd go ahead and baptize the baby even if I wasn't particularly active in the church. But that's just me. Your mileage may vary.

 

[nbcrusader]

Doesn't really matter what age you are, or where you're at with things in general. I'm only 26, a parent, but clueless about many things. Being my age which can be considered old or young depending on what the subject is, doesn't really make a scrap of difference to quite a few things we all face sooner or later.

But again many thanks for the replies. Our indecision over the whole thing is pretty much the issue we should be looking at first I think. I don't think it should be something we should do unless we are absolutely sure.

No one ever told us about all these things before we started a family! Someone needs to write a handbook on DIY parenting.

Guidelines about Christenings will depend on the denomination you belong. If you want to seriously follow the teaching of your denomination, just check with your church.

As far as what we ought to do, I can only give you this:

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7 (emphasis mine)

 

[zonelistener]

Just because someone is a teenager doesn't mean they're clueless, y'know.

*Fizz, who misses being a teenager.

Fizz...read the caption.

No...not all teenagers are clueless...and as you grow older (out of your teen years), you realize tht parents are RARELY clueless on topics like this. Parents ARE sometime clueless on how their own children act outside of the house though!

 

[Amsie]

Just a FYI.....I am not a parent, and am probably far away from being one.

In reality, it is the TEENAGER who is soooooooooo clueless. Again, give yourself some time to mature, then go back and read what you have written. I will guarantee you laugh at yourself...and end up agreeing with the adults.

Not laughing yet
Seriously, if you judge somebody's maturity levels over something you read on a message board...well i just think that's pretty sad... I mean, you're calling me immature, when you don't know me, my parents, or my life experiences. Did it ever cross your mind that just maybe there was more to the story?? i don't think it's fair for you to tell me to grow up without knowing me. Definitely there is a side of immaturity to me, i freely admit that.. it keeps me sane, but it doesn't mean i don't know my feelings now and what i mean. DON'T tell me what i'm going to be like in years to come and don't tell me that i'll come to my senses about my parents ...

I'm sorry, parent-daughter relationship just hits a raw point, that's all.... if you knew them, maybe you'd understand, but i can see i'm just wasting my breath

 

[beli]

So Im scouring the forums looking for a long lost post of nbrcrusader and stumbled into here instead. So while Im here I may as well put my foot in my mouth and fire off.

My parents didnt Christian/Baptise/Whatever me and Im personally grateful for that as Im still an athiest. My sister has grown up and decided to become a Christian of sorts and thats cool too.

I have not had my daughter 'done'. I will leave that up to her to decide. We did have a naming ceremony with a celebrant for my daughter just so we could get all the relies together and make a video of everyone together, and eat cake.

 

[nbcrusader]

Anything I can help you find?

 

[beli]

Yes, please. The one about absolutes.

 

[nbcrusader]

The subject was touched on in a thread on abortion, but only tangentially. I really haven't taken the time to lay out the argument that shows how relativism is illogical.

 

[beli]

Okay. Thanks. I will stop looking. Sounded interesting thats all. If you ever do write your feelings down pm me so I can read your thread, k?

Take care.