u2bonogirl said:
Ive never had sex with somebody who wasnt a long term monogamous partner so Ive never risked STDs
Is it more of a risk for the gay population to contract an STD or is that a stigma?
i think it's more of a risk for the highly sexually active gay population.
there are gay men -- more than i originally thought, to be honest -- who really are looking to have sex in the context of a monogamous relationship. while the Brian of "Queer as Folk" template does exist, and there are men who are looking to have sex with someone new every weekend, it's actually less prevelant than i had originally thought. or maybe i just know the right people? anyway, just goes to show how much even gay people internalize homophobia.
i think that gay men are more at risk for STDs for a few reasons: they are men, and i don't think too many people will argue that, on average, men are more inclined to seek multiple partners, the whole "sowing wild oats" idea, and this goes for straight men as well.
also, there are few incentives, and many outright barriers towards forming monogamous gay relationships, so it's almost as if society sets gay men up to be promiscuous and then turns that against them as means to attack civil unions and adoption rights and then to assert the natural "superiority" of heterosexuality over homosexuality.
finally, it's simply a smaller group of people. there are fewer degrees of separation between sexual partners than there are in the straight world.
also, there's a good degree of self-loathing in the gay world, men who have been taught to hate themselves and view themselves as unworthy of many of the things that society has to offer. and they hear this reinforced on the news every time a politicized Christianist talking head shoots his mouth off. feelings of worthlessness lead to self-destructive behavior (and which is why i feel the need to battle the idea that some people on this list have that homosexuality is simply "wrong" or "sinful" -- i don't think it's fully understood the amount of psychological damage this has on many gay people). there's no question that drug use is probably higher, on average, in urban gay centers (though this might have something to do with relative affluence and availability, as well as a means of self-medication), and according to my friend who's a doctor at the Whitman-Walker clinic (which just had it's budget slashed), most people who come in for an HIV test say the following, "i was really drunk/high last weekend, and i think i might have had unprotected sex." most times, people are fine. but not always.
this is why i feel so strongly about the need to give gay relationships structure, meaning, and purpose -- and the best way to do that, at a minimum, is through civil unions.
I'm sure I'll be back.
