|06-10-2002, 01:43 PM||#1|
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Inside the Mirrorball
Local Time: 03:55 AM
Been there, done that, clawed my way back
It's not big, and it's not clever. But by the same token I'm not afraid to say that I've been there and I've done that. And you're all completely right - there is nothing cool about it at all.__________________
However, I would like to distance myself somewhat from the 'social' takers. The people, who for whatever reason, decide that a high on a night out is worth gambling your life for. And, of course, not just your life, but the life of your families, friends and relatives. But if that's what floats your boat, then feel free. If your life is worth so little, then you're right, one more drink can't hurt, and one little pill isn't dangerous. Waking up in a gutter is fun, and realising that you don't even know your name *what a thrill!!! I don't think.
I was lucky. I had a problem, which is surprising, considering I'm young. But nearly 2 years ago, I developed a habit when things got too bad for me. I'm a depressive, and sometimes everybody needs a crutch. That was mine. Anything, you name is, alcohol, dope, drugs, painkillers. Anything to stop the sort of hurting that I had inside. And that's one 'good' thing about something like that. You end up so incapable that most of the time people will just tidy up around you and put you to bed. One time I wasn't so lucky, and it was a 'short' habit of about 4 months, but one time someone didn't pick me up afterwards.
I have an addictive personality, and habits grow on me. And suddenly, when I thought I was fun and cool to be around, I had to look at where I'd got myself. No fun Suddenly I had to look at all the people I'd ever been rude to, upset, made passes at, and without my crutch. And much fun as it was (I don't think) I got through it. :grin:
And there is nothing wrong with being afraid of people who are out of it. They're unpredictable, and can be dangerous. But on the other hand, please remember that sometimes they're just crying out for help in a language that nobody understands.
I'm 'clean' now. I drink in moderation and smoke. Moderation is a difficult thing to handle, but it's possible. And before you all go running scared, don't worry, I'm not a scary mofo with a broken family and an abusive personality. I'm just someone who got lost for a while.
Now, who's for a lemon tart? :lemon:
|06-10-2002, 01:46 PM||#2|
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Bay Area, CA
Local Time: 07:55 PM
Um ok, this is the second time you've posted this as a topic.
Please check your PM's. You are trying to reply to the 'have you taken drugs thread' and you seem to be hitting POST instead of reply.
I have already merged your previous post into this thread.
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