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Old 01-29-2006, 07:22 PM   #1
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Are you or have you ever....

been a prisoner of your own anger?

How do you get out of that prison?
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:25 PM   #2
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Because you are asking the question
you may find the answer



and yes,
I have been a prisoner
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:28 PM   #3
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I have been and sometimes I think I am. Does that make sense?

Sometimes a good cry can cleanse you.

I'm still trying to learn to stop getting angry over the little things. It all stems from me being too impatient with people and how people nowadays have no concern over anyone or anything.

Eek, I think I rambled on a bit.
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:36 PM   #4
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[Q]''We accuse. We justify. We blame the police. Parents are blamed for poor supervision. We point the finger. If we get stuck . . . we can't heal. We are prisoners to our own anger."[/Q]

A quote from my minister who will be appearing on Paula Zaun tomorrow night.

It was a part of a funeral a few weeks ago and continued in her sermon today.
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:45 PM   #5
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We are prisoners of our own sense of powerlessness. Maybe it's the same thing.
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:47 PM   #6
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I get upset over trite and stupid things, so yes, I can definitely be a prisoner of my anger.
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Old 01-29-2006, 08:28 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dreadsox
[Q]''We accuse. We justify. We blame the police. Parents are blamed for poor supervision. We point the finger. If we get stuck . . . we can't heal. We are prisoners to our own anger."[/Q]

A quote from my minister who will be appearing on Paula Zaun tomorrow night.

It was a part of a funeral a few weeks ago and continued in her sermon today.
Sounds like anger is defined in terms of our inability or unwillingness to accept personal responsibility.

It is seductively powerful and a difficult cycle to break.
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:42 PM   #8
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exercise.

accepting that there are some things we are powerless to affect or change, that everything is 50% chance, and that bad things happen to good people. (and when someone figures out how to do that, please let me know).

hope you feel better soon.
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:48 PM   #9
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A long walk w/ my discman

An hour on the trampoline

Focusing on the "big picture" (thus, the pointlessness of my anger)
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Old 01-29-2006, 09:51 PM   #10
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while anger is ultmately a negative emotion, it can inspire good works.

it also probably means that are you are a very good, compassionate person.
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Old 01-29-2006, 10:51 PM   #11
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Anger is often a reasonable response to injustice, social or personal. Like Irvine said, it can be a powerful motivator for good. But it can eat at you and can destroy you unless you can find a way to channel it. That channel is not always easy to find, to overcome that feeling of powerlessness when whatever you try hits a brick wall, when that injustice happens to those you love, when you try to do busy work to feel useful knowing it is not accomplishing anything.

Perhaps that's not the point of Dread's post, but I'm relating it to an earlier thread of his that affected me tremendously.
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Old 01-29-2006, 10:57 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Irvine511
while anger is ultmately a negative emotion, it can inspire good works.


channel the anger into something productive.

anger can be a great motivator.
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Old 01-29-2006, 11:24 PM   #13
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I suppose I may be getting closer to accepting the things I cannot change, but at times, this makes me angry too.

When you know something is so inherently wrong and yet one can't truly change it because of the lack of power or resources.

It's frustration I think, that manifest itself in anger and there is such a fine line between the two and it hard to tell the difference.

Anyway, I don't know the answer. I just pull on every resource I have from faith to doing what I can and hope for the better outcome.
Lately it's been more music and laughter than the news and negativity which I've had to remove myself from..
(but still can't seem to fully get away from)

I'm still working on the wisdome to know the difference, part.
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Old 01-30-2006, 12:50 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by sue4u2
I suppose I may be getting closer to accepting the things I cannot change, but at times, this makes me angry too.

When you know something is so inherently wrong and yet one can't truly change it because of the lack of power or resources.

It's frustration I think, that manifest itself in anger and there is such a fine line between the two and it hard to tell the difference.

Anyway, I don't know the answer. I just pull on every resource I have from faith to doing what I can and hope for the better outcome.
Lately it's been more music and laughter than the news and negativity which I've had to remove myself from..
(but still can't seem to fully get away from)

I'm still working on the wisdome to know the difference, part.


Very well said.

I read a book called The Dance of Anger once long ago and it was very good. I learned to funnel my anger into more productive means and to let go of things I could not control (which does lead to frustration, then anger, etc...). Patience is also a virtue. I think we all learn this if we become parents and as we mature and grow older.
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Old 01-30-2006, 01:09 AM   #15
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Life has to have balance,and anger is part of that balance.A natural feeling....Its how you handle anger is what matters most.
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Old 01-30-2006, 01:11 AM   #16
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No. I blame myself first, and usually only, when things go wrong and so tend towards depression and self-loathing instead. But there is a lot of anger in most depression really...so maybe I do know something about it.

This is perhaps the most obvious of answers, but really, when you're at the stage where "imprisonment" is the metaphor which comes to mind to describe it--I think from personal experience that that may mean it's time to actually get with a psychologist or counselor who specializes in anger, and can guide you (or whoever) in working systematically through the issues and learning some techniques to help you avoid your worst emotional sand traps, which vary from one person to another. Even with added support from medication, if necessary. This may or may not be what the situation you have in mind calls for; but as a warning, it truly is foolish to deny yourself this kind of help when reality is screaming in your face that you need it. (From personal experience...)

On a more self-help-oriented note, one of my brothers has struggled a great deal with anger in his life, and two books he personally has always said he found very helpful were Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh (a Buddhist-influenced perspective, but believe me, my brother is anything but the wide-eyed mystic sort and nonetheless found it most helpful and practical), and The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner which, though written for women, is regularly recommended by many therapists, including my brother's, for their male patients, as much of it really applies just as well to men. (Edited to add: I see carek mentioned the latter one too.)
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Old 01-30-2006, 01:41 AM   #17
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Hmmm. Anger can be a healthy thing if channeled usefully.

Anyway it's no use saying that we must always look to ourselves for blame. Sometimes it really is someone else's fault - otherwise, why be angry in the first place?

This forum often makes me angry. Extremely so. But that's ok, I'm channelling it very well now, since the lobotomy!
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Old 01-30-2006, 07:40 AM   #18
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Yes

I have tried to find a positive outlet for it, like exercise and hobbies like photography. God has also helped me deal with anger in some ways. I tend to turn my anger inward and it affects me in unhealthy ways. My anger is mostly at people who have hurt me and since I can't have anything to do with them any longer for that reason, it will most likely never be fully resolved. So I just do my best not to let it destroy me any more than it already has. Maybe I finally started to believe that I was worth more than that. When you feel power over hurt and anger it's amazing how much better you can feel about yourself.
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Old 01-30-2006, 07:55 AM   #19
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i usually try to take out my anger on the basketball court, but that doesn't always work...

the other day the team i coach (high school varsity) was short one person due to an injury so we had an odd number of players, which is never good... so i jumped in and partnered up with someone in many of the drills... which was very welcome 'cause i was in a pissy mood from work. normally when this happens, if one of the coaches has to jump in to make a drill work, you would normally just do enough to get the drill done and push the player you end up matched up against to do better, but not really play to your full ability because, really, what is that proving? but i was pissed on this day, so i purposely matched myself up against a kid on the team who's ego is just a tad too big for his game, and proceeded to abuse him at every opportunity. anger gone, overblown ego knocked down a peg... mission accomplished.

alas... this doesn't always work. being the uber-competitive nut job that i am, sometimes when you're angry and you try to take it out on the court, you end up playing poorly and only getting yourself more pissed. that's when i usually just head down to the beach, break out the iPod and get some nice alone time.

then all ya gotta do is hope that someone doesn't start nagging you the second you walk in the door at home...
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Old 01-30-2006, 10:54 AM   #20
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Quote:
On a more self-help-oriented note, one of my brothers has struggled a great deal with anger in his life, and two books he personally has always said he found very helpful were Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh (a Buddhist-influenced perspective, but believe me, my brother is anything but the wide-eyed mystic sort and nonetheless found it most helpful and practical), [/B]




am a big fan of Tich Nhat Hanh -- i actually broke open one of his books last night as i'm dealing with some other issues, and i always find him to be a very comforting, intelligent, and peaceful presence.
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