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Old 01-26-2003, 09:00 AM   #1
 
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Its Official#velluto farfalla

Top 10 Worst Things to See on Your Performance Evaluation

10. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

9. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

8. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
5. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

4. "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

3. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

1. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

Top 10 Ways to Keep Wackiness in the Workplace

10. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present.

9. Schedule meetings for 4:14 PM.

8. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers or tape dispensers.

7. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.

6. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".

5. When co-worker walks by motion him over, lean forward as if you are about to say something then go back to work.

4. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

3. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."

2. Include a personal note on every email that you send. "On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Tetris last night."

1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."



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Old 01-26-2003, 10:59 AM   #2
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Quote:
1. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."

OMFG!!!! that is HILARIOUS!
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Old 01-26-2003, 11:23 AM   #3
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Re: Its Official#velluto farfalla

Quote:
Originally posted by ACROB@T


9. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

2. Include a personal note on every email that you send. "On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Tetris last night."
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Old 01-26-2003, 11:45 AM   #4
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Old 01-26-2003, 12:37 PM   #5
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Old 01-26-2003, 02:13 PM   #6
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Old 01-26-2003, 03:29 PM   #7
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Re: Its Official#velluto farfalla

Quote:
Originally posted by ACROB@T

5. When co-worker walks by motion him over, lean forward as if you are about to say something then go back to work.
I used to always do that.
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Old 01-26-2003, 05:08 PM   #8
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I always write mean stuff on masking tape and put it on my co-workers backs.


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Old 01-26-2003, 05:14 PM   #9
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I tried writing on my own back once

"I am sad; girls, please make out with me" (with a sad face drawn there)

but no girls made out with me
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Old 01-26-2003, 05:23 PM   #10
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big shocker.



or maybe

no no, it's a
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Old 01-27-2003, 12:15 AM   #11
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years ago when I started my very first office job at ACNielsen, my supervisor told me to sit at my desk and play around with email and everything for a bit so I could get used to the set up. I accidentally sent a (thankfully) blank email to the entire company. That is about 20-30,000 employee's worldwide. I got so many responses from places like Sweden and South America saying "are you new? this happens a lot, welcome to the company!"

:idiot:
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Old 01-27-2003, 12:17 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
years ago when I started my very first office job at ACNielsen, my supervisor told me to sit at my desk and play around with email and everything for a bit so I could get used to the set up. I accidentally sent a (thankfully) blank email to the entire company. That is about 20-30,000 employee's worldwide. I got so many responses from places like Sweden and South America saying "are you new? this happens a lot, welcome to the company!"

:idiot:
BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
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