It's Official# proper english can

adamswildhoney · 11-26-2003, 02:01 PM

my arse!!!

~LadyLemon~ · 11-26-2003, 02:36 PM

ain't grammar great?

adamswildhoney · 11-26-2003, 03:43 PM

no it aint

verte76 · 11-26-2003, 05:14 PM

Grammar gets on my nerves.

jkayet · 11-26-2003, 06:44 PM

Yes, this is old and cheesy, but I'm posting it anyway.

Rules of Grammer

Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

adamswildhoney · 11-26-2003, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jkayet
Yes, this is old and cheesy, but I'm posting it anyway.

Rules of Grammer

Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

not grammar rules

*runs and hides

Lemon Meringue · 11-26-2003, 10:45 PM

That is just evil.

Amigone · 11-27-2003, 12:29 AM

Fun!

adamswildhoney · 11-27-2003, 12:34 AM

You guys want to know what's worse then the list is people actually tell you those in person after you have made a mistake

theSoulfulMofo · 11-27-2003, 01:03 AM

speaking for all recent English graduates...

that's pretty good, jkay

Laura M · 11-27-2003, 04:03 AM

English

bammo2 · 11-28-2003, 04:34 AM

I have to admit that I get inordinately annoyed when people here use American words instead of British ones - eg when people say Mall instead of shopping centre, or Math instead of Maths.

I don't know why but it just gets on my tits.

jkayet · 11-29-2003, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bammo2
I have to admit that I get inordinately annoyed when people here use American words instead of British ones - eg when people say Mall instead of shopping centre, or Math instead of Maths.

I don't know why but it just gets on my tits.

People here in the US get annoyed with me since I picked up a lot of British terms and still occasionally use them inadvertently...it's funny though, I confuse them.

11-26-2003, 02:01 PM	#1
adamswildhoney ONE love, blood, life Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere in NorCal Posts: 10,333 Local Time: 06:51 AM	It's Official# proper english can my arse!!! __________________

11-26-2003, 02:36 PM	#2
~LadyLemon~ I Serve Larry's Stick Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Akron Posts: 7,392 Local Time: 10:51 AM	ain't grammar great? __________________

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11-26-2003, 03:43 PM	#3
adamswildhoney ONE love, blood, life Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere in NorCal Posts: 10,333 Local Time: 06:51 AM	no it aint

11-26-2003, 05:14 PM	#4
verte76 Blue Crack Addict Join Date: May 2002 Location: hoping for changes Posts: 23,331 Local Time: 02:51 PM	Grammar gets on my nerves.

11-26-2003, 06:44 PM	#5
jkayet New Yorker Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 2,551 Local Time: 09:51 AM	Yes, this is old and cheesy, but I'm posting it anyway. Rules of Grammer Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat) Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. Be more or less specific. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. No sentence fragments. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. One should NEVER generalize. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. Don't use no double negatives. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. The passive voice is to be ignored. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. Kill all exclamation points!!! Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Puns are for children, not groan readers. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Who needs rhetorical questions? Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally... Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

11-26-2003, 10:45 PM	#7
Lemon Meringue Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Here Posts: 3,851 Local Time: 08:51 AM	That is just evil.

11-27-2003, 12:29 AM	#8
Amigone The Fly Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada Posts: 220 Local Time: 07:51 AM	Fun!

11-27-2003, 12:34 AM	#9
adamswildhoney ONE love, blood, life Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere in NorCal Posts: 10,333 Local Time: 06:51 AM	You guys want to know what's worse then the list is people actually tell you those in person after you have made a mistake

11-27-2003, 01:03 AM	#10
theSoulfulMofo Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 4,490 Local Time: 07:51 AM	speaking for all recent English graduates... that's pretty good, jkay

11-27-2003, 04:03 AM	#11
Laura M Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 18,934 Local Time: 03:51 PM	English

11-28-2003, 04:34 AM	#12
bammo2 Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In a car with House and Wilson :yikes: Let me out!! Let me oooooooouuut!!! Posts: 5,660 Local Time: 03:51 PM	I have to admit that I get inordinately annoyed when people here use American words instead of British ones - eg when people say Mall instead of shopping centre, or Math instead of Maths. I don't know why but it just gets on my tits.