It's Official*** If My Ass Wore A Hat It Would Be Called Scott Stapp!!!

[cujo]

Indeed.

 

[cujo]

So, Ass Hat... do you have any future goals to pursue... new heights?

AssHat: Well, not to be punny... but can you take me lower?

 

[cell]

oh my god cujo...

 

[u2popmofo]

Don't Stop Dancin' Ass-hat.

Human Clay indeed.

 

[cujo]

AssHat: Anyone standing next to me better watch out... I just drank a red bull!

Did you see the Bullets video?

Huh?

cujo: no asshat, I don't have TV. I have Scott Stapp as a hat on my ass. I need a proctologist not Carson Daly.

 

[cujo]

cujo: I've consulted with the doctors. They say they can lance off my asshat. But only one of us will survive.

Asshat: Is it more comfortable if I have my arms wide open? Yes?

cujo: that's disgusting asshat. That's it, I'm lancing you off... or die trying!

Asshat: is this the end of AssHat Scott Stapp?

 

[yertle-the-turtle]

very juvenile

i like

 

[cujo]

The kid stays in the picture?

 

[AvsGirl41]

It looks like your six feet from the edge....

And you're thinking, maybe six feet ain't so far down?

 

[cujo]

Asshat: My own prison. I must stop being such an ass goblin and flee from cujo's rear.

cujo: what? I didn't think you were capable of complex thought.

Asshat: I'm not. That's a statement I had prepared for Eddie Vedder... seeing as I've been riding his ass all my life.

cujo: oh we all know that... but your life will be cut short my friend.

Asshat: What? No... I was just getting ready to date Pam Anderson!

cujo: in your dreams.

Asshat: where else?

cujo: indeed.

Asshat: what do you have in store for me? what devilry is it satan?

cujo: Well Preparation H Raymond stopped by and told me about 15 Minutes of Fame H... I just simply apply this nuisancery potion... and voila, you'll be sipping rob roy's with Corey Feldman and Gary Coleman.

Asshat: No! A fate worse than death!

cujo: So you've heard your records before too?

Asshat: What? Well at least I'll be sipping a Rob Roy.

cujo: thought so. Well here goes, troublesome zany asshat. You've been rejected.

Asshat falls to the ground from whence he came, and flys away to a Las Vegas night club... headlining with Robert Goulet and Jimmy Buffet.

Cujo is able to sit down again.

The End.

Or is it???

???

 

[cujo]

*PS- if this bears any similarity to a Kieran McConville epic, then I'm delighted.

 

[u2popmofo]

'The "End"'

 

[AvsGirl41]

Well, I think it's safe to say cujo's ass has weathered yet another storm.

 

[cujo]

Not the perfect storm though.

And by that storm, I mean George Clooney.

 

[AvsGirl41]

But it's certainly seen the rest of the ocean...

And by ocean, I mean the entire cast of Ocean's Eleven. Am I right?

 

[Bonochick]

BWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[*BOOMCHAA!*]

this IS amusing after all

 

[Screaming Flower]

cujo sometimes you scare me a little.

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

Well that's one of the best thread titles ever.

 

[Lilly]

i'm still glad i went to bed.

I need a proctologist not Carson Daly.

this went better than expected.

 

[cujo]

But it's certainly seen the rest of the ocean...

And by ocean, I mean the entire cast of Ocean's Eleven. Am I right?

Last time I gossip with you about my rendezvous in Las Vegas.



PS- Flower, it scares me that I only scare you a little. Your guard is down.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

cujo, just admit it, you just want an excuse to get scott stapp to touch your ass .

 

[cujo]

Oh I think I already did.



*see title + subsequent zany asshat adventures.

 

[RockNRollDawgie]

Where can I get one? I want an ass hat!!!!!!

 

[AvsGirl41]

Last time I gossip with you about my rendezvous in Las Vegas.



PS- Flower, it scares me that I only scare you a little. Your guard is down.

Oh, you'll tell me. Enough vodka and my ears will burn with your illicit, filthy tales once again.