IO: i am creating a new workplace rule

[Irvine511]

people are forbidden to speak on their cell phones whilst in the midst of a great big crap in the most crowded restroom on the floor. we're all work poopers, i'm sure, but those of us with even a small amount of consideration will seek out the quietest, least visited bathroom in the whole building -- it's a great way to get up and stretch your legs, and even if someone does walk in, chances are they won't recognize your shoes.

okay, so maybe you can't make it that far; maybe last night's chili con carne was a little spicier than it should have been; you're sprinting down the hallway, relief is in sight at the crowded, popular, heavily trafficked restoom and you just don't have time to go up to the 4th floor. it's okay, we've all been there.

but, for the love of god, must you answer your cell phone when it goes off?!?!?!?!

must you then actually have a conversation? can you not say, "can i call you back in 5-10 minutes, depending?"

i know, you're thinking, "well, maybe it was a very important work call, he had to take it, some people are so busy that they don't even have time to poop."

well, think again. this was a personal call. there was laughter, a joke or two, a discussion of the previous weekend, etc.

(i know this because i'd had three cups of coffe this morning, and i always wash my hands no matter the activity, so i was occupied in the bathroom for a good deal of time).

so, New Rule: no cell phones in the pooper.

 

[nbcrusader]

Easy solution - when someone decides to take a call in the bathroom, flush a few extra times

 

[Irvine511]

Easy solution - when someone decides to take a call in the bathroom, flush a few extra times

great idea, but the urinals are so quiet ...

 

[nbcrusader]

Maybe let out a grunt or two.

I work for a cell phone company - everyone has one. It never ceases to amaze me how many people continue calls as they enter the bathroom, or answer the phone while in the bathroom.

 

[JessicaAnn]

work poopers

 

[stammer476]

When I lived in the dorms in college, I always hated it when fellow poopers would try to start a conversation with you. That's just not the time.

 

[Lila64]

That was hilarious Irvine511

May I add these, which were emailed to me several years ago, but I have saved them and posted on the wall.

Ways To Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall & ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6. Say, "Hmm, I've never seen that color before."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did you get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11. Say, "Interesting...more floaters than sinkers."

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

13. Say, C'mon Mr, Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.

15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now whayt am I gonna do?"

17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

 

[dandy]

Irvine, you have my full support on this.



i loathe public washrooms. this is just another reason why.

 

[FlyYourKite]

Cell phones are annoying enough

But cell phones in public washrooms?


Work poopers are nasty.

 

[fah]

Cell phones are no longer allowed in a lot of local gym locker rooms here because of the cameras in them.

 

[meegannie]

I hate how American public restroom stalls have doors and walls that are at least two feet above the floor and have huge gaps between the door frame and the door.

 

[samralf]

I hate how American public restroom stalls have doors and walls that are at least two feet above the floor and have huge gaps between the door frame and the door.

What are they like in England??

 

[meegannie]

 

[Cleasai]

Even worse there are some stalls here in the states that have no doors at all. And then there are even some places that, instead of wall urinals, have one long trough for which you drop trou and wee away

 

[pepokiss]

wee away

 

[randhail]

have one long trough for which you drop trou and wee away

You drop your pants at a urinal?

 

[samralf]

wow. thats the norm over there. I hate going in public places here.