I/O... Ask Doctor Phil

[Irvine511]

irvine, i believe that your personal attacks towards me are really just a relection on the problems that yooou face in your every day life. what is it about overweight housewifes that upsets you? this is something i'd like to discuss further with you.

and perhaps the overweight balding man you see is really your fear of your own future. is your hairline getting a little thin? perhaps you should look into rogaine.

we have much to discuss friend. don't be shy. let yourself go.

love,

phil

Dear Dr. Phil,

How can I take your advice seriously when you yourself don't take your own advice (Rogaine, sir)? You had sex with Oprah and got herpes, yet you can't even spell the STD correctly and, clearly, you didn't wrap up your willie.

Shouldn't you, a "Dr.," know better?

And why must you continue to take people's money?

And why do you avoid my questions?

My questions really are about you, not about me.

Stop exploiting the vulnerable for cash.

Much thanks.



Sincerely,
Irvine

 

[gvox]

.

Ahhhhhh the light! My eyes! My eyes!!!

 

[ZeroDude]

Are you nuts? You need to get your life under control boy. You're not even making sense. Lost socks inducing chronic migraines? Why I've never... Are you sure it's not your failed hopes and dreams that are giving you these chronic migraines?

You need to read my book, son.

-Doctor Phil

I'll read yours if you read mine. Call it a favour.

 

[redkat]

Dr.Phil I'd like to be on your show but I'm afraid you'll yell at me

I have a friend that finds you very sexy by the way

 

[Doctor Phil]

Dear Dr. Phil,

How can I take your advice seriously when you yourself don't take your own advice (Rogaine, sir)? You had sex with Oprah and got herpes, yet you can't even spell the STD correctly and, clearly, you didn't wrap up your willie.

Shouldn't you, a "Dr.," know better?

And why must you continue to take people's money?

And why do you avoid my questions?

My questions really are about you, not about me.

Stop exploiting the vulnerable for cash.

Much thanks.



Sincerely,
Irvine

again you're avoiding your own inner issues.

i am here to help you, friend. we are here to speak of your problems, not mine. i know i am not perfect. for i am but a caveman... no wait. anyways... what is troubeling YOU?

 

[Irvine511]

again you're avoiding your own inner issues.

i am here to help you, friend. we are here to speak of your problems, not mine. i know i am not perfect. for i am but a caveman... no wait. anyways... what is troubeling YOU?

you trouble me, sir.

deeply.

 

[Dulce de Leche]

4 stars

 

[Whortense]

Dr. Phil, I caught my husband wearing my bra and panties. And then I caught him trying on my vagina. I was so angry that I kicked him out of our $5 million dollar mansion and sent him packing to the nearest Four Seasons (I'll show him!).

I'm so angry that I'm considering sending back his Christmas present to the Maserati dealership. But do you think I'm being too harsh, Dr. Phil?

 

[Van Damme]

Dr. Phil, I caught my husband wearing my bra and panties. And then I caught him trying on my vagina. I was so angry that I kicked him out of our $5 million dollar mansion and sent him packing to the nearest Four Seasons (I'll show him!).

I'm so angry that I'm considering sending back his Christmas present to the Maserati dealership. But do you think I'm being too harsh, Dr. Phil?

Me Jean Claude wants you Whortensen, to be my 12th bride.

Click Yes, No or Maybe

 

[Got Philk?]

I hate you, do u know how many people instead of calling me Mr. Phil or just even "Phil" are now mistakenly calling me Dr. Phil? It's all your fault! GO AWAY!!!

 

[Doctor Phil]

Dr. Phil, I caught my husband wearing my bra and panties. And then I caught him trying on my vagina. I was so angry that I kicked him out of our $5 million dollar mansion and sent him packing to the nearest Four Seasons (I'll show him!).

I'm so angry that I'm considering sending back his Christmas present to the Maserati dealership. But do you think I'm being too harsh, Dr. Phil?

now were yoooou wearing your vagina when he tried it on? this is very important.

frankly i believe that you've married a no good, no talent bum, but you can't see this because you, yourself, have no talent, either. once you come to this realization, your life will take off.

perhaps you shoult take up this jean claude fellow on his offer.

 

[Muggsy]

Doctor Phil

my friends have told me that if I smoke pot I will see Elijah Wood...

I've smoked lots a lots of Pot in my gnome shaped pipe... but It didn't work ... what's wrong with me?... should I have pot cookies (they are yummy) or should I go and buy the LOTR trilogy????

 

[Numb1075]

pot cookies/brownies

 

[Doctor Phil]

Doctor Phil

my friends have told me that if I smoke pot I will see Elijah Wood...

I've smoked lots a lots of Pot in my gnome shaped pipe... but It didn't work ... what's wrong with me?... should I have pot cookies (they are yummy) or should I go and buy the LOTR trilogy????

friend

in order for this to work you must be watching the movies while smoking the pot for this to work.

try again and tell me what happens.

phil

 

[Doozer61]

Dr Phil,


I have trouble having sex with the lights out. And in order for me to complete the act, I must have the tv on with an episode of your show playing in the background.

Can you help me?

Doozie

 

[Mr. BAW]

Dr Phil,


I have trouble having sex with the lights out. And in order for me to complete the act, I must have the tv on with an episode of your show playing in the background.

Can you help me?

Doozie

OMG!!!!!

 

[Windmilllane]

Dr. Phil

I am tempted to visit the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Am I a bad person?

windmill

 

[Mr. BAW]

Is my mic turned on?

Is my mic turned on or what??????

 

[Muggsy]

pot cookies/brownies

I haven't eat brownies....

but what I said before is sort of true.... I ate cookies last saturday and they made me nothing... I just said a couple of incomplete ideas and I laughed and that was all...

 

[gvox]

I haven't eat brownies....

but what I said before is sort of true.... I ate cookies last saturday and they made me nothing... I just said a couple of incomplete ideas and I laughed and that was all...

That would be called 'being high'

hehe

 

[hiphop]

I haven't eat brownies....

but what I said before is sort of true.... I ate cookies last saturday and they made me nothing... I just said a couple of incomplete ideas and I laughed and that was all...

what kind of ideas? care to elaborate?

 

[hiphop]

and, clearly, you didn't wrap up your willie.

Whoa... Irvine.. I didn´t get that.. could you be a little more graphic?

 

[Doozer61]

 

[hiphop]

Dear Dr. Phil!

Im a 14 year old boy from Wisconsin. Sometime ago I came tzo realize that I like my math teacher better every day. When she teaches my heart beats faster and faster. I think I am in love. The worst thing is: when she asks me something, my face gets red and I can´t say a word.

Every morning when I wake up I am scared of the math lesson. I can´t talk about it with my parents or my friends, they would just laugh at me.

Can you help me?

 

[Muggsy]

Every morning when I wake up I am scared of the math lesson.

my dear 14 year old boy: what you experience every morning when you wake up is nothing to be scared of

 

[hiphop]

my dear 14 year old boy: what you experience every morning when you wake up is nothing to be scared of

Dr. Phil does not want to reply.. so I will trust you.

Today, my math teacher kept me in class after the lesson had finished. We were all alone and I was scared that she might critisize my homework. But she didn´t, she just explained these vectors again since she didn´t have the impression I understood what vectors were about. And to be true, I got no clue. I stared at her all the time, and she wore a white blouse. I hope she didn´t notice. Now I can´t get that blouse out of my mind. It´s getting worse and worse, my friends already start to notice it. Soon they will start laughing about me.

Help me! What can I do????