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Old 11-08-2001, 05:14 PM   #1
MacPhisto's serving wench
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Words that don't exist...but should

I got this in an e-mail

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to
turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy
you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will
somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering
for one armrest in a movie theater or on an airplane.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room
until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gue lay' shun) Manhandling the
"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to
resort to the 'illegal' side.
7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose
sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want
ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a
dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even
when you're only six inches away.

[This message has been edited by The_Sweetest_Thing (edited 11-08-2001).]

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Old 11-08-2001, 06:32 PM   #2
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those are pretty good...
the "peppier" reminds me of the pepper boy skit on SNL with dana carvey and adam sandler...anyone see that?

and just to let you know...i've never practiced the act of "disconfecting"

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Old 11-08-2001, 10:57 PM   #3
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This is hilarious and so TRUE!
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Old 11-09-2001, 02:40 AM   #4
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LMAO @ the milk carton one...the reason that one cracks me up is, it reminded me of when a friend of mine was fighting with one of those milk cartons at Cracker Barrell, and ended up squirting milk all over the table. LOL!

"You're dangerous...'cause you're honest"

[This message has been edited by MysteryGirl (edited 11-08-2001).]
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Old 11-09-2001, 05:59 AM   #5
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LOL @ all of these! I like the 'Phonesia' one...
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Old 11-09-2001, 01:33 PM   #6
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LMAO! Where did you get those?
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Old 11-09-2001, 02:28 PM   #7
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Originally posted by Peaseblossom:
LMAO! Where did you get those?
A friend e-mailed them to me...they're hilarious...I'm so guilty of carperpetuation

[This message has been edited by The_Sweetest_Thing (edited 11-09-2001).]
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Old 11-09-2001, 06:02 PM   #8
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I think they are from "Sniglets"."Sniglets" (by Rich Hall) is a "dictionary" of "words that don't exist but should." In fact there are 3 (?) more "Sniglets" after that one. I am not so sure if they are in print anymore but if you can find one they are definitely worth it, they are definitely hilarious (I actually first got hooked on them when I found a copy in my grandparents' house like 10 years ago).

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raining hard, that's when the rain will break my heart."
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Old 11-09-2001, 06:09 PM   #9
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theyre all so great

I invented a word, "eieyoats (e-i-e-i-oats)" As for the definition, we figure it could be a childrens breakfast cereal with a picture of old macdonald on it but Im looking for a more practical application to it.
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Old 11-09-2001, 09:26 PM   #10
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lol I make up words in my Spanish hw all the time. Sometimes --when I'm lucky-- they turn out to be something profane. Woo!

My friend Monique and I made up the word "Ginormous" which just means....BIG!

And my friend Katie and I call each other "tardos" every 2 seconds. We steal from Adam Carolla.

I make up phrases mostly (can be found in the PLEBA glossary http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165)

Hot pockets = Edge bc he has a bedazzled bum

Hot Slice o' Piety = hot holy person

Inter-pantal control = what Bono does not have....elevation thread...

My brother invented the MOTHER of all made-up words/phrases: MAN CLEAVAGE which is perpetuated on PLEBA on a regular basis. Larry has it!

SmoothCriminal = (I know, I know, Michael Jackson made it up) But I was the first to apply it to Larry (darn, he's smoooth)

and I turned the word "snooker" into some sort of...kissing...activity...

and OF COURSE TAMALE I invented its usage where it describes a hot guy like Bono
a little girl With Spanish eyes
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, Give me Soul

Magic Magic Magic Joe Houdini

[This message has been edited by WildHonee (edited 11-09-2001).]

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