Ive been driving the clown car up and down the street again, v e r y s l o w l y to ensure the neighbors are pissed. At one point, when my schtick grew old, i flung open the door and jumped out onto the pavement. I rolled around on the hardtop with arms flailing around, giant clown shoes like skis bouncing end over end, and my giant tomato red Afro picking up pebbles and leaves as i rolled along.
The only problem, after all of this grand spectacle, is that i forgot to actually stop the clown car and put it into park. Therefore it continued to roll down the street while i was too busy trying to put on a show.
The kids on the street originally thought my pranks were funny, but once the clown car rolled up in their yard and ran over their bicycles and skateboards, they were no longer amused. Their parents, who have always appreciated me before, are now upset that the clown car crashed into their garage door and now they will be stuck at home until someone can come out and replace their broken garage door.
Surely my closest friends will come to my defense, as always, and argue that the neighbors were assholes. But i suspect that even some of my biggest fanboys and girls will secretly wonder to themselves if im getting a bit too old to try and pull off this clown shit.....10 or 15 years ago this would have been marvelous....and everyone would be having clown sex.
I dont know where im going with all of this. I mean, im sure you do, i just really dont know. I hope that for the sake of making the gravy, u2 isn't punching their own clowns with all of this mess.