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Old 04-15-2002, 10:46 AM   #1
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U2 in Afghanistan

If this has been posted before, I'm sorry, but I thought it was cute

Operation Pride (In The Name of Love)
purely 'a temporary measure,' says Bono

The Irish rock band U2 flew into Kabul yesterday evening to take over as the new rulers of a country fractured by war for the past 25 years.

Lead singer Bono has been given a UN mandate to control the capital city, whilst guitarist The Edge will look after the front-line Northern territories.

Bassist Adam Clayton and drummer Larry Mullen Jnr will supervise the vital Southern trade routes, and all will act as monitors in a proposed UN backed election scheduled for next Spring.
"We can give 'em a quick blast of 'Bullet The Blue Sky' from the helicopters - but we'll refrain from 'Desire' and 'Hold Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, I think," reflected a wistful The Edge, "Such songs shouldn't be played."

Temporary rule by the Irish rock band had been suggested by UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan as, ‘the best option for all the factions in Afghanistan.' A UN delegation argued last week that the only unifying factor for the varying groups of the Northern Alliance was their love of U2’s music. Now they have got their way - and the band will hope to play on likes and dislikes of the Alliance’s disparate military leaders. It is believed that the Uzbek General Rashid Dostum is a big fan of The Joshua Tree, and ex-President Rabbani appears to like Achtung Baby. The one dissenting voice in the Alliance is former Governor of Herat, Ismail Khan, who has been known to listen to The Joshua Tree ‘occasionally,’ but thinks that their last album is ‘utter shite.’

The band have been treating the exercise like another tour - all members have started growing beards, and they will not be joined by their wives. However, Afghans on the streets of Kabul were bemused - to say the least - on hearing of the news that a rock group were to take over the running of their country.
"Where are the Vengaboys?" said one puzzled shopkeeper.

In the south of the country around Kandahar, it may be Mission Impossible for the powerful bass and drums of Adam and Larry - but one thing is for sure - they will be applying their trademark rhythm section skills to keep the trade routes to Iran running smoothly.

Back in the capital city of Kabul, the band's lead singer remained cheerfully defiant. Sporting a Che Guevera hat and smoking a cheroot, Bono swept into the city's airport flanked by reporters.

Asked how U2 would cope with the enormous logistical problems they were about to undertake, Bono said, "I'm sure it's no bigger a problem than the Zoo TV tour. But for now its back to the old days - mullets, white flags and climbing riggings."
Accompanied by a host of TV and newspaper reporters, the diminutive frontman viewed television footage of Kabul’s bombed out houses and pot-holed roads, and quipped, "Maybe we should do 'Where The Streets Have No Name’."

He then gave the peace sign - which he was later told is a grave insult to people of the Pashtun areas of country.

Love is a temple
Love's a higher law

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Old 04-15-2002, 11:52 AM   #2
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"You must not look down on someone just 'cos they are 14 years old. When I was that age I listened to the music of John Lennon and it changed my way of seeing things, so I'm just glad that 14 year olds are coming to see U2 rather than group X." - Bono, 1988
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