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Old 12-26-2004, 08:08 PM   #1
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Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own

So I don't think this is a great song, but it has had an incredible impact on my life.


My father and I are not very close at all. Actually we have only seen each other about twenty times in the last 10 years although he only lives 40 minutes away. We have a lot of bad blood and history between us and i have moved on in my life and I think he has in his, but we have done it without each other.


But, as i was driving home a while back the song popped up in the song rotation and I was listening to it and thinking about why Bono wrote it and I realized that there are a lot of things I would like to say to my father that I don't want to say to him on his death bed.


So I gave him a call today and invited him over to dinner......
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Old 12-26-2004, 08:33 PM   #2
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That's a great step, being the man in the relationship. You do need to value your time now while he's still around. I don't know you, but I'm glad you called.

Tell us how it goes...
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Old 12-27-2004, 11:28 AM   #3
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That's really great Dalton! Thanks for sharing the story with us. : )


It's had an impact on me as well, though not quite the same.
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Old 12-27-2004, 11:36 AM   #4
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Wow Dalton! Your integrity is inspiring. My wife has a similar relationship with her father so I kind of know how hard it can be to confront the past (or not confront the past in some cases.) Good luck. I'll pray for you guys.
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Old 12-27-2004, 11:38 AM   #5
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Old 12-27-2004, 11:59 AM   #6
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I lost my father to cancer 13 months ago ( he was 62 ). And i found alot of comfort in one special song that U2 has convered.
Can´t help falling in love with you.. My father was a huge Elvis fan, and Bono´s vocals on that song is nothing but amazing. So everytime i listen to that song, it makes me think of my father. And thats wonderful...
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Old 12-27-2004, 01:37 PM   #7
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Dalton, I think that is absolutley wonderful!! I wish you the best of luck...


And Jami....
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Old 12-27-2004, 02:32 PM   #8
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I've lived without my father since I was 12
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Old 12-27-2004, 03:05 PM   #9
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Thanks for sharing your stories everyone.


I thought about taking the post down as soon as I posted it last night - now I'm glad I didn't.
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Old 12-27-2004, 06:11 PM   #10
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I'm glad you didn't Dalton. I admire your guts...it's hard to do what you did, let alone tell others about it.
I've posted elsewhere here about my relationship with my own father---it's not so good at all. This song has kinda helped me realize that while I may be too old for a father I can still always try to make a sense of "something" out of it....if that makes any sense....
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Old 12-27-2004, 06:55 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by starsgoblue
I'm glad you didn't Dalton. I admire your guts...it's hard to do what you did, let alone tell others about it.
I've posted elsewhere here about my relationship with my own father---it's not so good at all. This song has kinda helped me realize that while I may be too old for a father I can still always try to make a sense of "something" out of it....if that makes any sense....


Makes perfect sense to me Stars. I think one of the saddest days of my life is the day that I woke up and I realized I would NEVER be the little kid with the great relationship with his dad.


I was 24.
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Old 12-27-2004, 07:26 PM   #12
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Dalton & Stars,
do whatever is in your power to do - to accept him the way he is. It's possible, you know. You won't regret it
My Father turned 80 this year. If there is one thing I have learned is there is no way I will waste these years, months or day's - really who knows, holding on to any past resentments with him. I don't have any horrible or physical abusive issues with my Dad, but he can be the most contentious and unbending person I know. But I just have to let it roll off me. Particularly when I know I can't sway his opinon. I just move on to something else.
Otherwise everything can go on the back burner. It's more important for me to have this time with him, even if I don't agree with him on alot of issues. We talk about many other things... It can be just about life, family & Love..
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Old 12-27-2004, 11:16 PM   #13
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I know what you mean Sue4U2. And this album as a whole has really gotten me to try and focus on that...it seems as though more and more everyday there are alot of things bubbling to the surface that have been kept away under lock and key for so long. I am realizing that I have built my own atomic bomb around myself, seeking darkness in places that need light, and avoiding my own heart in a lame attempt of self-preservation and abhorence to potential hurt. It is really really hard and difficult to admit things like this to yourself...to show that you do have a heart and it can be broken in many different ways, and that you aren't the invincible person that you try to project...but at the same time acknowledge that your own fear cannot be an excuse for inaction. A pliable and soft heart can be molded and reshaped if injured but a hard heart will do nothing but callous. Becuase, in a way, I think all of us are scared. Scared of someone or something that makes you realize your own fragility...and we will build up our bombs to block it out. That can go for so much of your life, whether it is mending a bridge with a family member or feeling overwhelmed at certain situations in the world that just don't make sense...it's really the Big Picture. But if you truly can try, try and dismantle yourself piece by piece, the picture slowly becomes clearer everyday.
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Old 12-28-2004, 01:35 AM   #14
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starsgoblue, that was a very deep and insightful post. thank you for sharing it.

"Sometimes" has been the song that has pushed me to finally decide to tell my parents about my Muslim boyfriend. I haven't wanted to cause friction or to have a bone of contention between us, but I am realizing that honesty is worth the cost. Even if they disagree with me, I know that we are family and we will always love each other.
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Old 12-28-2004, 01:52 PM   #15
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I may not be as old as starsgoblue and Dalton, but I have already come to realize that my father and I will never be close. after my grandfather died last month, and I spoke with my aunts and uncles about my grandfather, that one of the reasons my father and I have problems is because I am very much like my grandfather, and very much like my father too.
when I heard Bono sing "We fight all the time, You and I… that’s alright, We’re the same soul, I don’t need… I don’t need to hear you say, That if we weren’t so alike, You’d like me a whole lot more" that really hit me.
thanks Dalton and starsgoblue, for your openness here
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Old 12-28-2004, 04:49 PM   #16
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