Some Yuletide Frivolity - the Bomb as written by Adam Clayton

[paulrg]

As Bono is so fond of telling everyone that Adam Clayton is "The Poshest Member of U2" I have imagined how the album might sound if Adam were extremely posh and was the lyricist. This is rather silly but for other children out there I hope it brings a sprinkling of amusement...

Part I - Vertigo

VERTIGO

Unus, duo, tres, quattuor!

The lights have been extinguished, it’s quite murky
Amazonia has filled your mind
But it cannot rule your heart
A sentiment is so very much stronger than
A contemplation
Your eyes are capacious
And whilst your splendid soul
Cannot be purchased
Your intellect is quite capable of meandering

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

The hours of darkness are replete with punctures
As ammunition rips the firmament
Of ink with gold
They sparkle as the
Chaps play shake and revolve
They are aware of their ineptitude with regard to the boogie
At least they know….

I cannot bear the beats
I’m asking for the invoice
The fine filly with cerise fingernails
Has Jesus round her décolletage
Vacillating to the music
Vacillating to the music
Oh oh oh oh

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

A splendid end to a game of chess
Oh absolutely
Hours of pleasurable amusement…

All of this, all of my estate can be yours
All of this, all of this is quite within your grasp

All of this, all of this can be yours
Just please bestow upon me that which I desire and no-one shall be impaired….

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

One can sense that your devotion is instructing one in how
Your adoration is coaching one in quite how, how to genuflect…

Yah yah yah yah

 

[ZeroDude]

very nice, very funny, although someone may want to slap ya

 

[80sU2isBest]

That's very funny!

Here's how Elmer Fudd would have written Vertigo:

Unos dos twes catowce!
Wights go down, it’s dawk
De jungwe is youw head
Can’t wuwe youw heawt
A feewing is so much stwongew than A thought
Youw eyes awe wide And though youw souw
It can’t be bought Youw mind can wandew

Hewwo hewwo I’m at a pwace cawwed Vewtigo
It’s evewything I wish I didn’t know
Except you give me something I can feew, feew

De night is fuww of howes
As buwwets wip the sky Of ink wif gowd
Dey twinkwe as the Boys pway wock and woww
Dey know they can’t dance At weast they know….
I can’t stand the beats I’m asking fow the cheqwe
De giww wif cwimson naiws Has Jesus wound hew neck
Swinging to the music Swinging to the music
Oh oh oh oh

Hewwo hewwo I’m at a pwace cawwed Vewtigo
It’s evewything I wish I didn’t know
But you give me something I can feew, feew

Check mated
Oh yeah Houws of fun…
Aww of this, aww of this can be youws
Aww of this, aww of this can be youws
Aww of this, aww of this can be youws
Just give me what I want and no-one gets huwt….

Hewwo hewwo We’we at a pwace cawwed Vewtigo
Wights go down and aww I know
Is that you give me something
I can feew youw wove teaching me how
Youw wove is teaching me how,
how to kneew…

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

That's very funny!

Here's how Elmer Fudd would have written Vertigo:

Unos dos twes catowce!
Wights go down, it’s dawk
De jungwe is youw head
Can’t wuwe youw heawt
A feewing is so much stwongew than A thought
Youw eyes awe wide And though youw souw
It can’t be bought Youw mind can wandew

Hewwo hewwo I’m at a pwace cawwed Vewtigo
It’s evewything I wish I didn’t know
Except you give me something I can feew, feew

De night is fuww of howes
As buwwets wip the sky Of ink wif gowd
Dey twinkwe as the Boys pway wock and woww
Dey know they can’t dance At weast they know….
I can’t stand the beats I’m asking fow the cheqwe
De giww wif cwimson naiws Has Jesus wound hew neck
Swinging to the music Swinging to the music
Oh oh oh oh

Hewwo hewwo I’m at a pwace cawwed Vewtigo
It’s evewything I wish I didn’t know
But you give me something I can feew, feew

Check mated
Oh yeah Houws of fun…
Aww of this, aww of this can be youws
Aww of this, aww of this can be youws
Aww of this, aww of this can be youws
Just give me what I want and no-one gets huwt….

Hewwo hewwo We’we at a pwace cawwed Vewtigo
Wights go down and aww I know
Is that you give me something
I can feew youw wove teaching me how
Youw wove is teaching me how,
how to kneew…

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

now THAT is funny

and now for Vertigo in Jive speak...

Unos, dos, tres, cato'ce

Turn it down loud, captain

Lights go waaay down
It's dark, de jungle be
Yo' haid kin't rule yo' heart
A feelin' so's much stronga'
Dan some dought
Yo' eyes is wide
And dough yo' soul
It kin't be bought
Yo' mind kin wander

Sappnin', hang it down
Hola I
I'm at some place called Vertigo
Dond' esta
It's everydin' ah' wish ah' dun didn't know
Except ya' gimme sump'n ah' can feel
Feel
De night be full uh holes
Dese bullets rip de sky
Of ink wid gold
Dey twinkle
As de boys play rock and roll
Dey know dat dey kin't boogie
At least dey know
I kin't stand da damn whup's
I'm ax'in' fo' de check
Goat wid crimson nails
Gots Jesus 'round ha' neck
Swin'in' t'de beat
Swin'in' t'de beat
Ohhhhhh ohhh ohh
Ohhhhhh ohhh ohh
Sappnin', hang it down
Hola
I'm at some place called Vertigo
Dond' esta
It's everydin' ah' wish ah' dun didn't know
But ya' gimme sump'n ah' can feel
Feel

Shot wasted
Shots fall S
how me, yeah

All uh dis, all uh dis kin be yo's
All uh dis, all uh dis kin be yo's
All uh dis, all uh dis kin be yo's
Just gimme whut ah' wants'
And no one digs hurt

Sappnin', hang it down
Hola We’re at some place called Vertigo
Dond' esta
Lights go waaay down and all ah' know
Is dat ya' gimme sump'n
I kin feel yo' love teachin' me how
Yo' love be teachin' me how
How t'kneel
Kneel
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

 

[80sU2isBest]

Headache, I love that one, also.

I didn't find "moron" to be too funny, did you?

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

nah... i prefer elmer fudd and my personal favorite... the sweedish chef...

Unus, dus, tres, ceturce-a
Toorn it up luood, cepteeen
Leeghts gu doon
It's derk, zee joongle-a is
Yuoor heed cun't roole-a yuoor heert
A feeleeng su mooch strunger
Thun a thuooght
Yuoor iyes ere-a veede-a
Und thuoogh yuoor suool
It cun't be-a buooght
Yuoor meend cun vunder
Hellu, hellu
Hula
I'm et a plece-a celled Ferteegu
Dund' ista
It's iferytheeng I veesh I deedn't knoo
Ixcept yuoo geefe-a me-a sumetheeng
I cun feel
Feel
Zee neeght is fooll ooff hules
Zeese-a boollets reep zee sky
Ooff ink veet guld
Zeey tveenkle-a Es zee buys pley ruck und rull
Zeey knoo thet zeey cun't dunce-a
Et leest zeey knoo
I cun't stund zee beets
I'm eskeeng fur zee check
Gurl veet creemsun neeels
Hes Jesoos 'ruoond her neck
Sveenging tu zee mooseec
Sveenging tu zee mooseec
Ohhhhhhh ohhh ohh
Ohhhhhhh ohhh ohh

Hellu, hellu
Hula
I'm et a plece-a celled Ferteegu
Dund' ista
It's iferytheeng
I veesh I deedn't knoo
Boot yuoo geefe-a me-a sumetheeng
I cun feel
Feel

Shut deed
Shuts fell
Shoo me-a, yeeh
Ell ooff thees, ell ooff thees cun be-a yuoors
Ell ooff thees, ell ooff thees cun be-a yuoors
Ell ooff thees, ell ooff thees cun be-a yuoors
Joost geefe-a me-a vhet I vunt Und nu oone-a gets hoort

Hellu, hellu
Hula
Ve-a’re-a et a plece-a celled Ferteegu
Dund' ista
Leeghts gu doon und ell
I knoo Is thet yuoo geefe-a me-a sumetheeng
I cun feel yuoor lufe-a teecheeng me-a hoo
Yuoor lufe-a is teecheeng me-a hoo
Hoo tu kneel
Kneel
Yeeh, yeeh, yeeh, yeeh yeeh, yeeh, yeeh, yeeh
Yeeh, yeeh, yeeh, yeeh, yeeh, yeeh, yeeh, yeeh

 

[ADecentMelody]

Wow, you guys are really kickin' it into high gear. These are hilarious!

 

[U2 addict]

As Bono is so fond of telling everyone that Adam Clayton is "The Poshest Member of U2" I have imagined how the album might sound if Adam were extremely posh and was the lyricist. This is rather silly but for other children out there I hope it brings a sprinkling of amusement...

Part I - Vertigo

VERTIGO

Unus, duo, tres, quattuor!

The lights have been extinguished, it’s quite murky
Amazonia has filled your mind
But it cannot rule your heart
A sentiment is so very much stronger than
A contemplation
Your eyes are capacious
And whilst your splendid soul
Cannot be purchased
Your intellect is quite capable of meandering

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

The hours of darkness are replete with punctures
As ammunition rips the firmament
Of ink with gold
They sparkle as the
Chaps play shake and revolve
They are aware of their ineptitude with regard to the boogie
At least they know….

I cannot bear the beats
I’m asking for the invoice
The fine filly with cerise fingernails
Has Jesus round her décolletage
Vacillating to the music
Vacillating to the music
Oh oh oh oh

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

A splendid end to a game of chess
Oh absolutely
Hours of pleasurable amusement…

All of this, all of my estate can be yours
All of this, all of this is quite within your grasp

All of this, all of this can be yours
Just please bestow upon me that which I desire and no-one shall be impaired….

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

One can sense that your devotion is instructing one in how
Your adoration is coaching one in quite how, how to genuflect…

Yah yah yah yah

This is too good!

 

[yimou]

As Bono is so fond of telling everyone that Adam Clayton is "The Poshest Member of U2" I have imagined how the album might sound if Adam were extremely posh and was the lyricist. This is rather silly but for other children out there I hope it brings a sprinkling of amusement...

Part I - Vertigo

VERTIGO

Unus, duo, tres, quattuor!

The lights have been extinguished, it’s quite murky
Amazonia has filled your mind
But it cannot rule your heart
A sentiment is so very much stronger than
A contemplation
Your eyes are capacious
And whilst your splendid soul
Cannot be purchased
Your intellect is quite capable of meandering

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

The hours of darkness are replete with punctures
As ammunition rips the firmament
Of ink with gold
They sparkle as the
Chaps play shake and revolve
They are aware of their ineptitude with regard to the boogie
At least they know….

I cannot bear the beats
I’m asking for the invoice
The fine filly with cerise fingernails
Has Jesus round her décolletage
Vacillating to the music
Vacillating to the music
Oh oh oh oh

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

A splendid end to a game of chess
Oh absolutely
Hours of pleasurable amusement…

All of this, all of my estate can be yours
All of this, all of this is quite within your grasp

All of this, all of this can be yours
Just please bestow upon me that which I desire and no-one shall be impaired….

A very good morning A very good morning
One is situated in a locale by the name of Vertigo
It is all that one is inclined to wish one was not acquainted with
With the exception of your good self who provides one with a little that one can sense, sense

One can sense that your devotion is instructing one in how
Your adoration is coaching one in quite how, how to genuflect…

Yah yah yah yah

Superb

This is by far the most excellent waste of time i have seen for awhile Great, great... Funny as hell

Looking forward to another Adam penned song

 

[the tourist]

Wow. The comedians.

 

[lmjhitman]

Re: Re: Some Yuletide Frivolity - the Bomb as written by Adam Clayton

This is by far the most excellent waste of time i have seen for awhile Great, great... Funny as hell

This was hysterical! Thanks for the laughs!!!

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

 

[rivergoat]

now THAT is funny

and now for Vertigo in Jive speak...

Unos, dos, tres, cato'ce

Turn it down loud, captain

Lights go waaay down
It's dark, de jungle be
Yo' haid kin't rule yo' heart
A feelin' so's much stronga'
Dan some dought
Yo' eyes is wide
And dough yo' soul
It kin't be bought
Yo' mind kin wander

Sappnin', hang it down
Hola I
I'm at some place called Vertigo
Dond' esta
It's everydin' ah' wish ah' dun didn't know
Except ya' gimme sump'n ah' can feel
Feel
De night be full uh holes
Dese bullets rip de sky
Of ink wid gold
Dey twinkle
As de boys play rock and roll
Dey know dat dey kin't boogie
At least dey know
I kin't stand da damn whup's
I'm ax'in' fo' de check
Goat wid crimson nails
Gots Jesus 'round ha' neck
Swin'in' t'de beat
Swin'in' t'de beat
Ohhhhhh ohhh ohh
Ohhhhhh ohhh ohh
Sappnin', hang it down
Hola
I'm at some place called Vertigo
Dond' esta
It's everydin' ah' wish ah' dun didn't know
But ya' gimme sump'n ah' can feel
Feel

Shot wasted
Shots fall S
how me, yeah

All uh dis, all uh dis kin be yo's
All uh dis, all uh dis kin be yo's
All uh dis, all uh dis kin be yo's
Just gimme whut ah' wants'
And no one digs hurt

Sappnin', hang it down
Hola We’re at some place called Vertigo
Dond' esta
Lights go waaay down and all ah' know
Is dat ya' gimme sump'n
I kin feel yo' love teachin' me how
Yo' love be teachin' me how
How t'kneel
Kneel
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I don't know why, but except for a couple of place, this sounds to me EXACTLY like Bono sings it!!

}~

 

[madonna's child]

They are aware of their ineptitude with regard to the boogie

 

[matt76]

COOL! Thanks guys!!

 

[boystupidboy]

quality thread .quality