my life sings " so cruel" over and over

[BrownEyedBoy]

i think "so cruel" is the song that defines me.
i think its so cruel because half the goirls i like are worthy of being the inspiration for that song.
i fell in love with a girl from another country and aftetr a while she grew tired of being lonely. i said it was ok for her to have a boyfriend because i want her to be happy even though im a horribly jealous person.
well i feel extra sad because we were going to chat today and i dont have a computer at home so it takes a great effort for me to get here. she sends me this two line email saying " cant go, sorry, love u by bye". i feel real bad. on top of that i've had a terrible week. at school, with people, everything it just sucks and i've been feeling suicidal. now dont get all scared about me killing myself because i do fear god and would never kill myself.
id love to have words of encouragement.

 

[hcmiller]

in all seriousness, i am a physician and it is my opinion that you seek professional help... you need to talk to a physician/psychologist/counselor ASAP

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

My dear brown eyed boy...

If she's not intelligent enough to realize how awesome you are, then she's not worth it. Really, I know you've heard it before, but time again, it's the tried, tested, and true expression. Trust me, things always get better. There's always another one coming along. I suggest you go take a nice nap and listen to some U2. It always makes me feel better...

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

And love
Is not the easy thing
The only baggage
That you can bring
Not the easy thing
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
Walk on
Walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on
Walk on
Stay safe tonight
You're packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to be believed
To be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird
In an open cage
Who will only fly
Only fly for freedom
Walk on
Walk on
What you got
You can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on
Walk on
You stay safe tonight
And I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Walk on
Home
Hard to know what it is
If you never had one
Home
I can't say where it is
But I know I'm going
Home
That's where the hurt is
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you care
(It's only time
And I'll never fill up all I find)
All that you sense
All that you scheme
All you dress up
And all that you see
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate

 

[unforgettableFOXfire]

IMHO, suicide is never an option. Things ebb and flow, better and worse... But the worst thing you can do is kill yourself, not only does it hurt everyone around you, but thats the ultimate form of giving up.

Never ever give up. People suck, its a fact of life. Do I like it? no. Should good people have to deal with it? Hell no. Does it happen anyway? Yes. If you give up, truly give up, then whats the point?

Life is precious, I personally do not expressly believe in a 'God' however there is something that drives the universe, a higher power, call it what you will, but you arent put on this miserable earth to go through an abstract form of hell, all sorts of trials and tribulations, just to die. Everyone has a perpose, everyone has a reason.

Those who give up, well what kind of people are they? Suicide is bad ,as I said not only because it hurts everyone around you, but it forsakes that precious gift you have been given. I know that me telling you to suck it up wont make you feel better, nor is it really that helpful of your feelings, or anything. But honestly, its what you need to be told. I heard an expression, 'idiots are put on this earth to give the smart people someone to feel superior to.'

Following that logic, do you want to pass through time as 'the idiot' or do you want to become one of the superior, really make a difference in your life and the lives of others? I think the answer is clear... Of course you dont want to just slip away.

Ive been hurt before, distance sucks, I know. I was crushed too, but I mean, look at yourself 10 years from now. Where will you be? sure as hell not waiting around for her I hope. Its hard to move on, it took me almost a year. Noone, ever, is worth killing yourself over if they turn on you like that. I know I sound really damn cold if I say, youre better off without her. But maybe its true.

You have a carreer ahead of you, you have your life ahead of you. Is it worth, spending your time single, waiting for her? Do you really love her? or are you just in love with the thought of loving her, because shes something special. Ive been there before too.

Now I could say a bunch more profound stuff, I could make myself look wise for my age, or you could all argue with me. But seriously... Its all well and good to be truly in love with someone, but it is my opinion that if you never see her, then its not going to work. Distance is the bane of love, it kills a great majority of relationships that arent meant to be.

Im going to tell you the same thing other people tell me. If it was meant to be, she will come back to you. If it wasnt meant to be, then dont dwell on it, because you will find the one who is meant for you.

Half of everything is choice, and the other half is fate. Make sure you make the right choices.

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"Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships."

 

[melon]

Originally posted by hcmiller:
in all seriousness, i am a physician and it is my opinion that you seek professional help... you need to talk to a physician/psychologist/counselor ASAP

I would advise the same, if you can at all possible. Trust me. I was in a similar state as yourself at one point, and I realized my feelings were a symptom of a much bigger problem. But I wouldn't have figured that out unless I got professional help. I greatly encourage you to do the same. Hang in there!

Melon

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"He had lived through an age when men and women with energy and ruthlessness but without much ability or persistence excelled. And even though most of them had gone under, their ignorance had confused Roy, making him wonder whether the things he had striven to learn, and thought of as 'culture,' were irrelevant. Everything was supposed to be the same: commercials, Beethoven's late quartets, pop records, shopfronts, Freud, multi-coloured hair. Greatness, comparison, value, depth: gone, gone, gone. Anything could give some pleasure; he saw that. But not everything provided the sustenance of a deeper understanding." - Hanif Kureishi, Love in a Blue Time

 

[~LadyLemon~]

You are so money!!!

You are so money baby, and you don't even know it!!!

We're here for you.

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All I need are some tasty waves, cool buzz, and I'm fine.