my college paper has a "Reason's I hate Bono" top 5

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jesseu2

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I just came across this an had to post it.

http://www.asuwebdevil.com/images/issues/pdfs/112807-spmissue15.pdf

Reasons I hate Bono

I appreciate his philanthropy. I appreciate his music. I will never
appreciate U2’s Bono. Just hear me out.


1 Bono hates pug puppies
Seriously. Google that shit.

2 He has a band named U2
He helped contribute to the start of text abbreviations.
English majors will forever be bitter.

3. The name Bono comes from the Latin “Bono Vox,” meaning good voice
He’s a liar too.

4 The obvious: He wears sunglasses inside
How dare he allow the kid in economics class feel OK about his scratched cornea? What rays are you banning, dude?

5 He wrote the lyrics to “Vertigo”
Spanish speakers everywhere should be insulted. Also, fat girls wearing lingerie on MySpace.com should be angry with him for taking their picture caption: “All of this can be yours.”
 
The only one that I think is remotely clever, witty, or funny, is number five.
 
Yeah. It's not unfunny in that "OMG he's making fun of Bono" way, it's just plain unfunny.

I picture the author as some smug kid who thinks he's the wittiest guy ever.

Not so much.
 
jesseu2 said:
I just came across this an had to post it.

http://www.asuwebdevil.com/images/issues/pdfs/112807-spmissue15.pdf

Reasons I hate Bono

I appreciate his philanthropy. I appreciate his music. I will never
appreciate U2’s Bono. Just hear me out.


1 Bono hates pug puppies
Seriously. Google that shit.

2 He has a band named U2
He helped contribute to the start of text abbreviations.
English majors will forever be bitter.

3. The name Bono comes from the Latin “Bono Vox,” meaning good voice
He’s a liar too.

4 The obvious: He wears sunglasses inside
How dare he allow the kid in economics class feel OK about his scratched cornea? What rays are you banning, dude?

5 He wrote the lyrics to “Vertigo”
Spanish speakers everywhere should be insulted. Also, fat girls wearing lingerie on MySpace.com should be angry with him for taking their picture caption: “All of this can be yours.”

1. He hates pugs? Who cares?

2. U2 is named after U-2 a spy plane.

3. Bono Vox is named after a hearing aid, hence, Bono just wanted to use Bono.

4. He wears sunglasses to protect his eyes from harmful UV ways, or extreme light.

5. Vertigo was just a fun tune to write, nothing more.
 
Headache in a Suitcase said:
i mildly L O Led.

just mildly. not crazy L O L... but a little half "ha" nose snort L O L, and then that was it.

i did however do a more than mild eye roll at the people who took the post seriously and tried to defend their beloved Boner.

hmm... myess.

as terrible as vertigo is, it's odd he didn't mention elevation instead. i mean... if we're talking about awful, it doesn't get worse than that, does it?
 
i honestly don't know what's worse
some of the shit i write in my journal
or bono's lyrics on elevation and vertigo.

putrid only has so many flavours, and i think between the two of us, we have them all covered.
 
Headache in a Suitcase said:
i mildly L O Led.

just mildly. not crazy L O L... but a little half "ha" nose snort L O L, and then that was it.

i did however do a more than mild eye roll at the people who took the post seriously and tried to defend their beloved Boner.

I was surprised to see the "not that funny" replies in here. I was sure I'd see LOLing all over the place and more militant replies to anyone that actually says "this isn't funny to me" in threads like this.
 
AchtungGirl219 said:
I actually thought he was making fun of the people who hate Bono, rather than a Bono-hater himself...?
That's how I interpreted it :shrug:

People's reasons for hating Bono tend to be a little ridiculous ("I mean, oh my god, how DARE he want to fight poverty and AIDS?!"), and it seems like this list is just a compilation of stupid reasons to "hate" Bono.

But the guy could've come up with better reasons. I mean, I love Bono to pieces, but I could come up with way better fake reasons to hate him.
 
...it's a college newspaper. :crack: If you're looking for hard-hitting, intelligent opinions in a college newspaper, you're looking in the wrong place. Just ignore it and move on.
 
LarryMullen's_POPAngel said:


Pretty much the same reaction here. :shrug:

nelson-haha.gif
you half nose snorted
 
corianderstem said:
Yeah. It's not unfunny in that "OMG he's making fun of Bono" way, it's just plain unfunny.

I picture the author as some smug kid who thinks he's the wittiest guy ever.

Not so much.

the writer is actually female.... I sure would like to have a chat with her and see whats going on in her head, lol.

I am just surprised at what she said for # 5.
 
I wish the pug puppy thing were true.


Headache in a Suitcase said:
i mildly L O Led.
i did however do a more than mild eye roll at the people who took the post seriously and tried to defend their beloved Boner.

:up: :up:
 
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