Stolen Cd Theory
Convenience seems to be the issue I have with this stolen CD. It seems very convenient that this CD just happened to be unattended to during a highly secretive photo shoot. Also, after everything that's happened over the last few years (Achtung Baby Outtakes, POP tracks online msyetriously, ATYCLB online mysteriously) something smells fishy here.
But, U2 is going to the Police about this. So if it is intentional and a publicity thing, they're going a long way so we can believe the lie.
So...where does that leave us?
Here?s the way I see it:
A dark restaurant in Nice, U2 are sitting in the back by a shadowed table. A guy walks in, Sopranos-type?you know the type. He sees U2 and walks to them.
GUY: Are you? (looks at piece pf paper) John, Ringo, George and Paul?
BONO: That?s us.
ADAM: I?m Paul.
GUY: Good for you.
He sits down.
GUY: So what can I do for you?
BONO: I understand you?re a man who?s good at making this disappear.
GUY: From time to time.
BONO: Good. Well, you see, there?s this CD?it?ll be in a CD player during this photo shoot?and?this CD?it has to disappear.
EDGE: But, but it has to appear stolen.
GUY: Look, you don?t tell me how to do my job, and I don?t tell you how to play drums.
EDGE: Um?I play guitar, actually.
LARRY: Way to go, Edge! You?ll blow our cover!
They all look at Larry.
EDGE: Nice, Ringo, why don?t you just tell him where I live.
LARRY: Well, I?m not the one?
ADAM: Guys, guys, can we stick to the point at hand here.
They look back at the mobster guy.
GUY: Look, you want something gone, I can make it gone.
BONO: Heh.
GUY: What?
BONO: We wrote a song called ?Gone? once.
Larry hits Bono in the back of the head.
BONO: What? Oh, sorry.
GUY: Yes, I can do it. But you said there was something else.
BONO: Yes, there is.
They all lean in to the center of the table.
BONO: This CD?the contents on it?they have to mysteriously appear?
GUY: Appear?
EDGE: On the Internet.
ADAM: Preferably at Interference.com.
They shoot Adam a look.
ADAM: What? They?ve been very nice to us.
LARRY: Two words for you pal: PLEBA.
ADAM: That?s two words?
LARRY: Whatever.
GUYS: Hey! Josie & The Pussycats, wanna save it for later?
LARRY: Sorry.
They all nod.
GUY: The Internet, huh?
BONO: Yeah?but it can?t be traced back to us.
GUY: Naturally.
EDGE: Can you do it?
A moment of silence as the guy thinks to himself.
GUY: I can make the CD disappear?but this thing, this Internet thing?I?m gonna have to bring in someone. Someone who knows this Internet?a specialist.
EDGE: How much is that gonna cost?
GUY: If you want the best, you gotta pay for it.
BONO: This is true. I had this bottle of wine once, like three thousand pounds--
Larry hits Bono in the back of the head AGAIN.
BONO: Jeez!
EDGE: A specialist, huh?
GUY: Yes. A specialist.
They all look at Edge is is in deep thought.
EDGE: Hmmm
They sit in silence.
FADE OUT:
That's how I think it happened. So while I sit back and wait for the 'stolen' tracks to appear online, I'll smile to myself knowing U2 has pulled off one of the greatest hoaxes in history since the Great Christmas Caper of 1956...which I'm legally not allowed to talk about so nevermind about that...