Hypothetical U2 Headlines That Would Make You Sick

[namkcuR]

"U2 Sell Rights To Entire Back Catalog To Michael Jackson"

"U2 Clear Limp Bizkit To Record Achtung Baby Tribute Album"

"U2 Clear Nickelback To Record Joshua Tree Tribute Album"

"U2's Bono To Launch Own 'Staring At The Sun' Sunglasses Line"

"U2 To Allow 'Stuck In A Moment' to be used in Bounty 'Quilted Quicker Picker Upper' Paper Towel Television Ad"

 

[indra]

U2 launches the "Even Better Than The Real Thing" line of adult toys.

 

[TheBrazilianFly]

U2 Hires Fred Durst To Produce Their Next Record!

U2 Not Planning To Tour For Next Record!

Band Members Of U2 Decide To Make Solo Records!

Jay-Z Agrees To Rap In A New U2 Song!

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

"U2 Release Best Of Album 1990-2000; Disc 2 filled with techno remixes"

..oh wait that really happened.

 

[Zoots]

"U2 Release Best Of Album 1990-2000; Disc 2 filled with techno remixes"

..oh wait that really happened.

U2 to paint their faces and play a tribute concert for Kiss.


U2 to change name to 'The Zootles'

 

[Palace_Hero]

A MAN AND A WOMAN NEXT SINGLE AUGUST 15TH!
(Acoustic Mercy B-Side)

 

[AtomicBono]

"U2 Release Best Of Album 1990-2000; Disc 2 filled with techno remixes"

..oh wait that really happened.

"U2 to Remake Pop Album"

I've got a better idea, boys...play the entire album LIVE and release that.

"U2's Bono Arrested on Charges of Rape"

I don't mean that to be funny 'cause I actually had a dream about that and it was really damn depressing...but then my friend Alec was like "Um, I don't think that's possible, because it wouldn't be rape, it'd be being touched by a fucking ANGEL. How could anyone NOT want to hit that?!"

"U2 Clear CREED to Record Every U2 Song Ever"

I'd commit suicide.

"New U2 Album by 2012, Bono Says"

Unfortunatley this might not be too far from the truth...

"U2 Will Stay in Vegas for Next Tour"

There's my opinion on THAT thread.

"U2's Bono Decides to Pursue Career in Rap"

uhhhhh....yeah.

 

[discothequeLP]

U2 Release City of Blinding Lights as a Single in Europe Only!!!



??!?!?!!

 

[echo0001]

U2 Says We're Too Old For This S***: Announces Retirement

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

U2 launches the "Even Better Than The Real Thing" line of adult toys.

!

That wouldn't make me sick...I'd find that oddly amusing, actually. Heh.

Some of these other headlines would disturb me a bit, though...... And yeah, the retirement one would make me sad . As would any announcements of their deaths (ooh, okay, creeped myself out there, not going to think about that anymore...).

Angela

 

[pepokiss]

Kiss Tribute


"MTV Matchups: U2 / 50 Cent"

 

[Halifax]

Imagine in the future...

"U2 to kick off a 39th farewell tour".

 

[miss becky]

"U2's Bono Sez: George W. Bush is a Great Leader!"

*shudders*

 

[popacrobat]

U2 endorse Chicago Cubs, play 32 gigs at Wrigley field

 

[YellowKite]

U2 IDOL - Coming This Summer on FOX - Bono steps down as lead singer to pursue humanitarian work full-time - The rest of U2 hold auditions to replace him.

U2 without any one of the band members freaks me out. All U2 or NO U2! That's my rule.

 

[nbcrusader]

U2 To Stop Touring

 

[LMP]

Ashlee Simpson to sing/lipsync U2's Greatest Hits for her 2005 tour.

 

[Chizip]

U2 to lipsync Ashlee Simpson's Greatest Hits for their 2005 tour

 

[Harry Vest]

"U2 never to play "Bad" again"
"U2 to collaborate on album with 50 Cent"
"50 Cent to collaborate on album with U2"

 

[thrillme]

Hehe,

"Adam quits U2 to act as full time manager of Kings of Leon, Larry becomes big time action star "

Well okay, it wouldn't make me sick, a bit sad actually.

 

[Liesje]

U2 Release New Best Of Compilation: Regular CD, Regular CD and B-Sides, Regular DVD, Special Edition DVD, Regular CD and Regular DVD, Regular CD and Limited Edition DVD, Special Edition CD with B-Sides and Special Edition DVD and U2 iPod, Extended Edition DVD and Special Edition CD with B-Sides

 

[gareth brown]

"We've been experimenting with Tango..." - The Edge

 

[one4u2]

Bono runs off with female fan in New York-Details at 11

And it not being me

 

[corianderstem]

Bono Is a Robot: Film at 11.

Bono Says to Die-Hard Fans: Get a Life!

 

[one4u2]

U2 says: We're over it!
Thanks for playing

 

[AtomicBono]

Bono Is a Robot: Film at 11.

Dude are you kidding?! That would be the best thing ever! Robots rule, I bet you wish you were a robot. Someday, I will be a robot.

 

[TheBrazilianFly]

Dude are you kidding?! That would be the best thing ever! Robots rule, I bet you wish you were a robot. Someday, I will be a robot.

U2's Bono Says: "The new NSYNC album is brilliant, just brilliant. We're taking them on tour with us."

U2 To Make An Acoustic Tour!

U2 To Take A Five Year Brake Before Start Working On New Album

 

[corianderstem]

Dude are you kidding?! That would be the best thing ever!

Dude, you won't think so when robots rise up against mankind, and Robot Bono comes to kill us all!

 

[Zoots]

Dude, you won't think so when robots rise up against mankind, and Robot Bono comes to kill us all!

The Terminator BN2010 model?

 

[corianderstem]

Well, he's already got some sunglasses to be a Terminator. Can the other Terminator qualities be far behind?

Here's a headline that would make me vomit:

U2 to Record Single With Paris Hilton