Hypothetical U2 Headlines That Would Make You Sick

[Zoots]

U2 to Record Single With Paris Hilton

 

[Halifax]

"U2 to cancel Australian tour dates."

"Shocking revelation: Bono is Satan."

 

[indra]

Well, he's already got some sunglasses to be a Terminator. Can the other Terminator qualities be far behind?

You mean Bono wants to be the governor of California too?

 

[corianderstem]

US Changes Constitution to Allow Irish to Run For President!

 

[thrillme]

You mean Bono wants to be the governor of California too?

You wouldn't have to ask for Bono's autograph, you'd get it with any official document.

I have Arnold's autograph!



It's on the Department of Motor Vehicles driver handbook, and his picture hangs on the walls of the 3 DMV offices I've been to. Let me tell you, it's really weird having the Terminator staring at you while waiting at the DMV!

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

LOL at the Bono Terminator stuff .

Here's a headline that would make me vomit:

U2 to Record Single With Paris Hilton

...

Angela

 

[jkid]

"U2 to release "Temple Bar Mixes" of every song they recorded"

"U2 to release rap album"

"Bono regrows mullet"

"U2 stop playing rock, and regroup as The Dalton Brothers"

"The Edge quits; leaves guitar duty to Bono" (sorry, but he isn't the greatest player)

"Bono to become next pope"

"U2 to record single with Toby Keith"

"U2 to cancel rest of Vertigo tour"

"Bono asks Edge to play the blues"

"Breaking news: there have been Mr. MacPhisto sightings"

"U2 bring back lemon"

 

[nathan1977]

Bob Dylan Forgets Words to U2 Song in Concert, Makes Up Own
Most agree: It's Better

U2 Play Live; Only 12 Show Up
General audience wonders who these 65-year-old rockers are

U2's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Status Rescinded; Honor Given to Kajagoogoo Instead
Vocalist Limahl says: "It's about time!"

 

[AtomicBono]

"Bono asks Edge to play the blues"

didn't this happen one time...?

"Breaking news: there have been Mr. MacPhisto sightings"

Dude, that would rock!

"U2 bring back lemon"

Well I just finished watching the Popmart video, and as over-the-top as it was...that'd rock too!

Dude, since Bono's a robot, all the U2 fans will want to be robots too, so we'll all become robots and be safe and then we can TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!! and build a time machine, because time machines make everything better.

 

[corianderstem]

And then we'll all throw a nonstop U2 dance party ... and do "the robot"!

 

[AtomicBono]

And then we'll all throw a nonstop U2 dance party ... and do "the robot"!

Oh god, does that mean we'll be listening to the Best of 1990-2000 b-sides disc for the rest of our eternal robot lives?

 

[Eliv8]

U2 to drop the ticket lottery system in Europe...


...


...


...


but re introduce it for the 3rd leg back in the States.

 

[dabiggestu2fan]

U2 and Liam to write an album together

 

[Pero]

U2 make soundtrack for Star Wars III
U2 to make rap album
U2 experiments with polka plus beats
Bono writes music for Britney
Britney:"I'm soo super super after Bono accepted"
The Edge and Keith Richards to switch places

 

[echo0001]

Dude, you won't think so when robots rise up against mankind, and Robot Bono comes to kill us all!

RoboBono comin' to getcha...

Maybe this is why Edge is so good at the technical stuff? Has to keep fixing the RoboBono...

 

[echo0001]

And wouldn't it be a downer to discover that the whole MacPhisto schtick was just a technical glitch?

 

[AtomicBono]

RoboBono comin' to getcha...

Maybe this is why Edge is so good at the technical stuff? Has to keep fixing the RoboBono...

Actually I think Edge is a robot too, it's really the only logical explanation. The man is a fucking genius and he plays everything ever... obviously a robot. Plus, what the hell kinda name is "The Edge?" A robot name, of course!

 

[Zoots]

mmmm..... robots.

 

[corianderstem]

I'd dig a Bonobot of my very own.

 

[Meghan]

New burger at MacDonald's -- The McBono. 10 pickles and a slice of cheese on a sesame seed bun.


MacDonald's release U2 happy meal.
Get your own U2 action figure!
See The Edge stomp!
See Adam bounce!
See Bono open his mouth REALLY wide!
See Larry looking pissed off!


Actually, I'd kinda like that.

 

[Zoots]

New burger at MacDonald's -- The McBono. 10 pickles and a slice of cheese on a sesame seed bun.


MacDonald's release U2 happy meal.
Get your own U2 action figure!
See The Edge stomp!
See Adam bounce!
See Bono open his mouth REALLY wide!
See Larry looking pissed off!


Actually, I'd kinda like that.

Ooh... and they'd adopt the Popmart arch as their logo instead!

 

[corianderstem]

I can think of nothing that would amuse me more than U2 action figures.

 

[Sken]

U2 frontman Bono loses voice - Groups Final Album 'Man' cancelled indefinately.


edited to say: 'Wow, I got shivers up my spine typing that'

 

[Sanchez]

U2 to judge next American Idol

Britney Spears and Larry Mullen Jr. to wed

U2 to re-re-re-release POP! Bono "This time we didn't take any bathroom breaks."

 

[AtomicBono]

MacDonald's release U2 happy meal.
Get your own U2 action figure!
See The Edge stomp!
See Adam bounce!
See Bono open his mouth REALLY wide!
See Larry looking pissed off!


Actually, I'd kinda like that.

That would totally rock. I would keep buying happy meals to collect all four.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

New burger at MacDonald's -- The McBono. 10 pickles and a slice of cheese on a sesame seed bun.


MacDonald's release U2 happy meal.
Get your own U2 action figure!
See The Edge stomp!
See Adam bounce!
See Bono open his mouth REALLY wide!
See Larry looking pissed off!


Actually, I'd kinda like that.

!

I like that! I'd be visiting McDonald's daily for those !

Angela