> >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
> > >
> > >She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away
> > >with the first gun shot"
> > >
> > >The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like the way
> > >you're thinking,"
> > >
> > >Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three
> > >women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking
> > >the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling
> > >down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of
> > >the ice cream. Which one is married?"
> > >
> > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one
> > >that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"
> > >
> > >To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with
> > >the wedding ring on... but I like the way you're thinking."
> > >
> > >
> > >Math Class:
> > >
> > >Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > >
> > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' I said "6"
> > >
> > >"But that's right!"
> > > "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'
> > >"What's the f**king difference?" asks the father.
> > >
> > >"That's what I said!"
> > >
> > >**********************************************************************
> > >English:
> > >
> > >Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > >
> > >Little Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate"
> > >
> > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."
> > >
> > >Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > >
> > >**********************************************************************
> > >
> > >Vocabulary:
> > >Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needs
> > >to go to the bathroom.
> > >He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!"
> > >
> > >The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
> > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly and I will allow
> > >you to go."
> > >Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if
> > >you had bigger breasts, you'd be a TEN!!!"
> > >
> > >**********************************************************************
> > >Grammar:
> > >One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > >show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the
> > >same sentence twice.
> > >First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
> > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > >"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > >Michael.
> > > "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,"
> > >he said. "Excellent, Michael!"
> > >Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner
> > >table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,
> > >'Beautiful... just f**king beautiful'"
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