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Old 03-08-2005, 06:02 PM   #1
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Edge in The Onion

In the most recent (today's) The Onion (a humor newspaper):
http://www.theonion.com/nib/index.php?issue=4110&nib=2

The Edge Still Introducing Himself As Such:
MALIBU, CA—U2 guitarist The Edge, born David Evans, introduces himself by his stage name, sources reported Monday. "He showed up at parent-teacher conferences, extended his hand, and said, 'Hi, I'm Sian's father The Edge,'" said Dory Beckman, a second-grade teacher at Malibu Heights Elementary. "I didn't quite understand, so he said, 'U2's The Edge.' Well, I guess with all the records he's sold, he's entitled to call himself whatever he wants." Employees at Gladstone's 4 Fish restaurant said Evans placed "The Edge" on their waiting list when he took his family out for fried scallops last week.
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Old 03-08-2005, 06:03 PM   #2
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Hahahaha...

what a legend!
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Old 03-08-2005, 06:05 PM   #3
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Beautiful! You know you've made it when the Onion does a story on you. Can't wait to email this to all my friends. Thanks for posting it~
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Old 03-08-2005, 06:33 PM   #4
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well, if his mother does......
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Old 03-08-2005, 07:09 PM   #5
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his daughter goes to school in Malibu?!?!?!? omg mate^^ i have to go see him
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Old 03-08-2005, 07:12 PM   #6
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Old 03-08-2005, 07:14 PM   #7
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That's funny. So, the Edge lives in Malibu, CA! Do all four live in the US?
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Old 03-08-2005, 07:28 PM   #8
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that's hilarious.

The Onion actually did some pretty good research. Edge has a home in Malibu, cause Morleigh is from California. But I'm pretty sure his kids go to school in Ireland. This is after all just The Onion, people.
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Old 03-08-2005, 07:33 PM   #9
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It's a fake paper, although I've heard some stories about other countries' newslines picking up Onion articles and printing them as fact... They've done a few other U2 spoofs in the past. Here's one, and I'll try to dig up another one that I have in mind. I don't have a link to this one, it was buried in an old email and the link has gone stale. So, I just have the text for you (it was an "infographic"). Their writers sure know how to "twist the knife". But, it's funny nonetheless.

From The Onion, March 6, 2002: Issue 3808

Bono To The Rescue

Called "rock's conscience," U2 frontman and political crusader Bono has met
with everyone from Kofi Annan to Colin Powell. What has he been doing
recently?

• Tirelessly dedicating self to ending Third World debt, no matter how many
magazine covers he must appear on in process

• Restoring humanity's faith in the power and the promise and the
possibility of rock and roll

• Feeding starving Somalis by dividing single loaf into many

• Defeating Bruce Springsteen in epic, five-hour earnest-off

• Vowing to lobby Congress for African aid on progressively larger
Jumbotrons until demands are met

• Shouldering the burdens of a post-Sept. 11 world/Buying another pair of
blue-tinted wrap-around shades

• Revealing that The Edge will betray him three times before cock crows

• Thinking about writing song about deliverance and redemption; also maybe
one more about transcendence
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Old 03-08-2005, 08:11 PM   #10
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Even if this isn't true, it sounds like something Edge might do.
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Old 03-09-2005, 01:44 AM   #11
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It must be weird hearing yourself called by your real name after so many years of being called something else.

(hence all that paul is dead stuff on the discotheque single)
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Old 03-09-2005, 05:25 AM   #12
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Old 03-09-2005, 05:27 AM   #13
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I might officially change my name to Zero Dude out of interest ok maybe not
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Old 03-09-2005, 06:51 AM   #14
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Sad thing is that story sounds kind of believable, lol.
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Old 03-09-2005, 06:59 AM   #15
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Yeah, I´ve heard that before, I mean that he uses "the Edge" in hotels and restaurants and such. I think it would be weird if he´d go as Dave Evans.. because it´s THE EDGE!
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Old 03-09-2005, 10:40 AM   #16
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Old 03-09-2005, 03:21 PM   #17
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That is too funny! I'm going to cut it out and put it up at work. I love the Onion. Cracks up my shit everytime.
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Old 03-09-2005, 03:46 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by ZeroDude
I might officially change my name to Zero Dude out of interest ok maybe not
i should change my name to khanada rhodes
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Old 03-09-2005, 05:17 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by LisaU2
It's a fake paper, although I've heard some stories about other countries' newslines picking up Onion articles and printing them as fact...
Yeah, they (The Onion) ran a hilarious story about the Bush Administration's plan to create a 'reality show' for the purpose of selecting a new Iraqi prime minister. A couple Spanish newspapers picked up the story and ran it as fact.
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Old 03-10-2005, 03:44 PM   #20
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Funny couldn't find a Malibu Heights school anywhere listed in Malibu area, hmmm. Obviously fake!

I'm a teacher...why couldn't I have a parent conference like that!!!
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