Cheesiest lyrics ever

[WildHonee]

If I could
then I would
I'd go wherever you will go
Way up high!
Or down low
I'd go wherever you will go!

*PROFOUND*

------------------
~*Mona*~ 97%compatible with Bono
"Perhaps Miss PLEBA herself" ~GypsyHeartGirl~

"Bono...a sort of holy cross between the Morrisons, Jim and Van"

YOU KNOW I BELIEVE IT

[This message has been edited by WildHonee (edited 01-01-2002).]

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Originally posted by DrTeeth:

Originally posted by AprilThe vodka is already poured, now all I need is your sweet company and some snuggling.

Let's forget about the vodka and focus on us...

[This message has been edited by DrTeeth (edited 01-01-2002).]

*tosses aside glass, gives DrTeeth's burns and scratch

kisses*


[This message has been edited by LarryMullen's_POPAngel (edited 01-01-2002).]

 

[Burning_Azalea]

Originally posted by babble:
Rico Suave
Gerardo

Aye chihuahua! Thanks for reminding me of the sheer awfulness of this song!

However, to play my hand in this discussion

, I must bring up Murray Head's tune "One Night in Bangkok". This was a gentle ballad about one man's love for his chess game. There are so many awful lines in this one I feel compelled to post the whole song:

THE AMERICAN:
Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's Iceland --
or the Philippines --
or Hastings -- or --
or this place!

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

THE AMERICAN:
One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother

COMPANY:
It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

THE AMERICAN:

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town
--

COMPANY:
Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite

THE AMERICAN:
Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

THE AMERICAN:
Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I'm only watching the game --
controlling it --

I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples,
your massage
parlours --

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me.
--One Night in Bangkok, from Chess

To think that this song took the combined songwriting efforts of both half of ABBA and Tim Rice is unbelievable!

------------------
Larry's always been tough. He can laugh heartily telling the story of how as little kids on Christmas Eve he and his sister kept pestering their father,saying, "I think I hear Santa, Dad! I think I hear Santa!" Until their annoyed old man said "There is no Santa Claus! Now go to sleep!"

--Bill Flanagan,U2 at the End of the World

 

[TheU2]

Originally posted by babble:
Rico Suave
Gerardo

This was Interscope's first act.

CK

 

[Discoteque]

omg, i'm so scared, this was the "theme song" of this self-improvement seminar I went to recently, BLARGH!!!

wasn't MY choice of course....no U2 there...

Originally posted by WildHonee:
I love Pat Monahan!!!!!

CHEESE = If you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I HOPE YOU DANCE

 

[HelloAngel]

I really like that Train song

But anyway, for lyrics that make me cringe instantly - would have to be from that *NSYNC song "I Want You Back"
I don't know them offhand, but it makes me want to hurl.

Also, another song that tickles my upchuck reflex is Taylor Dayne's "Don't Rush Me."

teehee.

 

[Dorian Gray]

": oh my god, becky
: look at her butt
: it is so big uhh
: she looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
: but u know who understands those rap guys
: they only talk 2 her becuz she looks like a total prostitute
: ok i mean her butt...
: its just so big
: uhh i can't believe its just so round
: its out there
: gross
: look
: shes just so black

: I like big butts and I cannot lie
: u other brotherz can't deny
: when a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist
: and a round thing in ur face u get sprung
: want to pull up tough
: cuz u noticed that butt was stuck
: beef to the jeans shes wearing
: im hooked and I can't stop staring
: oh baby I wanna get wit cha
: and take ur pictcha
: my homeboys tryed 2 warn me
: but that butt u got makes me so horny
: ooooooo rumple smooth skin
: u say u wanna get my benz
: well use me use me cuz u ain't that average groupie
: I seen her dancin
: to hell with romancing
: she sweat
: wet
: shes got it going like a turbo jet
: im tired of magazines
: seenin flat butts are the thing
: cuz the average black man ask him that
: shes got 2 pack much back
: so fellas
: YAH!
: fellas
: YAH!
: cuz ur girlfriends got the butt
: HELL YAH!
: shake it
: yah
: shake it
: yah
: shake that healthy butt
: baby got back

: baby got back

: I like them round and big
: and when Im throwing a gig
: I just can't help myself
: I'm acting like an animal
: now here's my scandal
: I wanna get u home and
: uh
: double up
: uh uh
: I ain't talking bout playboy
: those silicon parts are made for toys
: I want them real thick and juicy
: so find that juicy double
: mix-alot seem trouble
: begging for a piece of that bubble
: so Im looking at rock videos
: knocking these bimbos
: looking like hoes
: u can those bimbos
: I keep my women like flo-jo
: a word to the thick soled sisterz
: i wanna get wit cha
: i won't cus or hit cha
: i gotta be straight when I say
: I wanna uh to the break of dawn
: baby's got it going on
: a lot of sims won't like this song
: cuz thoses punks like to hit and quit it
: and I'd ratehr stay and play
: cuz I'm long and I'm strong
: and I'm down to get this frick shit on
: so ladies
: YAH!
: ladies
: YAH!
: so u wanna roll my mercedes
: YAH!
: so turn around
: stick it out
: even white boys got 2 shout
: baby got back

: baby got back

: yah baby
: when it comes to females
: cosmo ain't got nothing to do with my selection
: 36
: 24
: 36
: on if she's 5'3"

: so ur girlfriend owns a honda
: playing workout tapes by fonda
: but fonda ain't got a motor on the back of her honda
: my anacoda
: don't got none unless u got buns hun
: you can do side bends or sit-ups
: but please don't use that butt
: some brotherz wanna play that hard roll
: and tell ya that the butt ain't gold
: so they toss and leave it
: and i pull up quick to retrieve it
: so cosmo says ur fat
: well i ain't down wit dat
: cuz ur waist is small
: and ur curves are kicking
: and im thinking bout sticking
: to the beanpole dames and the magazines
: you ain't it miss thing
: give me a sista
: i can't resist her
: red beans and rice didn't miss her
: some knuckle head tried to dis
: cuz those girls are on my list
: he had game
: but he chose to hit em
: and I pull up quick to get wit him
: so ladies if da butt is round
: and u wanna triple xbo down
: dial 1-900-mixalot
: and kick dem nasty thoughts
: baby got back

: baby got back

: little in the middle but u got much back

: little in the middle but u got much back

: little in the middle but u got much back

: little in the middle but u got much back"

------------------
And I felt like a star...

 

[dogmatt]

'You're a piece of glass stuck in the beach.'

Sorry U2 ..that one really makes me laugh.

 

[She Is Raging]

this thread is great!

Anyone remember Dino? He opened for NKOTB...lol

 

[TheU2]

Originally posted by Dorian Gray:
": oh my god, becky
: look at her butt
: it is so big uhh
: she looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
: but u know who understands those rap guys
: they only talk 2 her becuz she looks like a total prostitute
: ok i mean her butt...
: its just so big
: uhh i can't believe its just so round
: its out there
: gross
: look
: shes just so black

: I like big butts and I cannot lie
: u other brotherz can't deny
: when a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist
: and a round thing in ur face u get sprung
: want to pull up tough
: cuz u noticed that butt was stuck
: beef to the jeans shes wearing
: im hooked and I can't stop staring
: oh baby I wanna get wit cha
: and take ur pictcha
: my homeboys tryed 2 warn me
: but that butt u got makes me so horny
: ooooooo rumple smooth skin
: u say u wanna get my benz
: well use me use me cuz u ain't that average groupie
: I seen her dancin
: to hell with romancing
: she sweat
: wet
: shes got it going like a turbo jet
: im tired of magazines
: seenin flat butts are the thing
: cuz the average black man ask him that
: shes got 2 pack much back
: so fellas
: YAH!
: fellas
: YAH!
: cuz ur girlfriends got the butt
: HELL YAH!
: shake it
: yah
: shake it
: yah
: shake that healthy butt
: baby got back

: baby got back

: I like them round and big
: and when Im throwing a gig
: I just can't help myself
: I'm acting like an animal
: now here's my scandal
: I wanna get u home and
: uh
: double up
: uh uh
: I ain't talking bout playboy
: those silicon parts are made for toys
: I want them real thick and juicy
: so find that juicy double
: mix-alot seem trouble
: begging for a piece of that bubble
: so Im looking at rock videos
: knocking these bimbos
: looking like hoes
: u can those bimbos
: I keep my women like flo-jo
: a word to the thick soled sisterz
: i wanna get wit cha
: i won't cus or hit cha
: i gotta be straight when I say
: I wanna uh to the break of dawn
: baby's got it going on
: a lot of sims won't like this song
: cuz thoses punks like to hit and quit it
: and I'd ratehr stay and play
: cuz I'm long and I'm strong
: and I'm down to get this frick shit on
: so ladies
: YAH!
: ladies
: YAH!
: so u wanna roll my mercedes
: YAH!
: so turn around
: stick it out
: even white boys got 2 shout
: baby got back

: baby got back

: yah baby
: when it comes to females
: cosmo ain't got nothing to do with my selection
: 36
: 24
: 36
: on if she's 5'3"

: so ur girlfriend owns a honda
: playing workout tapes by fonda
: but fonda ain't got a motor on the back of her honda
: my anacoda
: don't got none unless u got buns hun
: you can do side bends or sit-ups
: but please don't use that butt
: some brotherz wanna play that hard roll
: and tell ya that the butt ain't gold
: so they toss and leave it
: and i pull up quick to retrieve it
: so cosmo says ur fat
: well i ain't down wit dat
: cuz ur waist is small
: and ur curves are kicking
: and im thinking bout sticking
: to the beanpole dames and the magazines
: you ain't it miss thing
: give me a sista
: i can't resist her
: red beans and rice didn't miss her
: some knuckle head tried to dis
: cuz those girls are on my list
: he had game
: but he chose to hit em
: and I pull up quick to get wit him
: so ladies if da butt is round
: and u wanna triple xbo down
: dial 1-900-mixalot
: and kick dem nasty thoughts
: baby got back

: baby got back

: little in the middle but u got much back

: little in the middle but u got much back

: little in the middle but u got much back

: little in the middle but u got much back"

I love this song!

CK

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

Originally posted by NON-POPtart:
Right now I get really sick when I hear Train's "Drops of Jupiter" with the lyrics that go:

"she checks out Mozart while she does Tae bo
reminds me that there's room to grow...."

what's funny is that the song made #1 on vh1's top 50 of 2001 countdown (of note is that U2 placed thrice with siam, elevation, and bd.) and they mentioned that very quote as being why the song got such heavy airplay. i love the song, but i HATE that lyric as well. so i was like...hmm...no.

as for cheesy lyrics, i think everyone's pretty much covered everything i can think of. but there's one i can't stand...

<i>"my head is full of chopstick i don't like it!"</i>

------------------
kahnarinha "funky-san" taylor, royal chat nutte for both interference and U2OL, as proclaimed by sir rafaroni (the mexico city treat)
U2: 62%
dd: 37%
-------
proof 2001 simon is bangable:
<Rox> I bang 2001 simon every morning
<J-Tree> you think he'd get tired from being hard all the time
virtual insanity
john nude!

 

[Matthew_Page2000]

Originally posted by dogmatt:
'You're a piece of glass stuck in the beach.'

Sorry U2 ..that one really makes me laugh.

Ahem. The line is actually, "You're a piece of glass, LEFT THERE ON THE BEACH."
Not "stuck in the beach" which would be awful.
It's actually a pretty good line. The idea being that the woman in question is dangerous to the narrator of the song not out of malice but incidentally.

MAP

 

[Salome]

I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo

------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it

 

[oliveu2cm]

I've been waiting to complain about this song, although my sister thinks the lyrics are funny I think it's beyond ridiculous:
"good thing that my breasts are small and humble that way you don't confuse them with mountains" - by shakira

the words might be switched up, but the lunacy of it makes me laugh in amazement that someone would write and sing this- then switch the station

------------------
"Songs are the language of the spirit... the melodies are how you sing to God. It's a deep language. But they can't explain everything, because really great songs touch places that you can't explain." -Bono

** U2 Take Me Higher **

Jazz man bass man cool -bluey-

 

[Slapnutz]

'I listen through your ears, and through your eyes I can see'

There's about 10-20 songs per year that have these very lyrics.

------------------
'Closer than ever to everybody's wife'

 

[Bonochick]

You know...I heard "Drops of Jupiter" on the radio, and I think that the cheesiest part is that part that goes something like, "Can you imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken, your best friend always stickin' up for you"

I don't like "chicken" and "stickin'" rhyming in a song. I don't know...I just don't.

------------------
"I don't know you,
But you don't know the half of it..."

 

[oliveu2cm]

Originally posted by Bonochick:

I don't like "chicken" and "stickin'" rhyming in a song. I don't know...I just don't.

LOL me *EITHER!!!* it's just laughable how ridiculous it is!!! and this song was ALWAYS on the radio- likeee alll theee timeeeeee - drove me nuts!!

U2 lyrics i don't like.. sigh.. poor Bono. he knows i love him so i say this with all the care in the world:

Grace: whats up w/ the chalk/walk rhymes? not on a ramp or on CHALK? what?

NY: hot as a handbag - can of mace ? *maybe* he was trying to portray images of women (handbag) and police(carrying mace).. but.. *sigh* how is a handbag hot? or is it b/c it's hot like stolen or hot like everyone wants one? lol sorry this turned into an analysis- it's b/c i like NY other than those lines...

Elevation: well the music kicks ass so i can overlook the "diggin like a mole" line, i guess

oh yeah and the "I and I in the sky" lol Bonoooo

I just know Bono can do better! that's my only complaints (about B's lyrics). everything else rocks my world.


------------------
"Songs are the language of the spirit... the melodies are how you sing to God. It's a deep language. But they can't explain everything, because really great songs touch places that you can't explain." -Bono

** U2 Take Me Higher **

Jazz man bass man cool -bluey-

 

[Klodomir]

Originally posted by sulawesigirl4:
I'm not an actor, I'm not a star
And I don't even have my own car.

Oh wait, none of you would know this band, they're Danish. N/M.

Oh Sula, I do know them, for I used to be Danish too.

 

[Salome]

Originally posted by oliveu2cm:
oh yeah and the "I and I in the sky" lol Bonoooo

I and I in the sky is quite a common rastafari expression that can be found in many reggae songs

------------------
Salome
Shake it, shake it, shake it

 

[Klodomir]

Originally posted by Salome:
I and I in the sky is quite a common rastafari expression that can be found in many reggae songs

Son of an onion, I did not realize that.

 

[Klodomir]

This Used To Be My Playground. And most other Madonna songs.

 

[oliveu2cm]

Originally posted by Salome:

Originally posted by oliveu2cm:
oh yeah and the "I and I in the sky" lol Bonoooo

I and I in the sky is quite a common rastafari expression that can be found in many reggae songs

hey thanks salome, i didn't know that. i am *hoping*, and assuming, knowing Bono, there are reasons behind some of his lyrics that I don't think live up to his potential (and i'm really speaking about war and beyond, b/c pre-war he was just starting out and I think he really devloped during JT as a lyricist creating images and AB hit the nail on the head w/ capturing intense feelings & an overall theme through songwriting)
/speech.. lol not sure how much pl want to hear here about this stuff.

anyway this is waht i found about the "i and i" in the sky... in case anyone's interested:

"I and I the sons of Jah Rastafari I, does not respect the laws of men, but the laws of the Most High. We are also taught to give unto Caesar what belong to him...Let InI study the Government of men for a while.
They also pretend to worship the true and living Jah thru their established churches, pretending to worship the Saviour Christ the anointed one. But for the benefit of their rulers they preach of a haven somewhere in the sky where man would go after death, to supprot the continuous enslavement of Jah?s
chosen sons and daughters. Enslavement of their suffering by the false rulers of the Earth. Because after death they will go to this haven in the sky. IanI also sight that these same anti-Christ do not tell the
people of Jah Righteous Government on Earth established in this Revelation, November 2nd 1930"(Ras Yonas ,Jahugliman issue III, 1981).
site for quote

Bob Marley singt in "Rastaman Vibration":

"If you get down and you quarrel every day
you`re saying prayers to the devil I say
Why not help one another on the way
would make it much easier"

"Jah is ready to be praised in his holy name so children of Israel let I and I come together as one in unity and love giving praise to the earth`s rightful ruler
this site is half in a language i didn't recognize lol so i'm trying to get bits & pieces

well anyway, thanks and now i'm gonna have to look into this more.

------------------
"Songs are the language of the spirit... the melodies are how you sing to God. It's a deep language. But they can't explain everything, because really great songs touch places that you can't explain." -Bono

** U2 Take Me Higher **

Jazz man bass man cool -bluey-

 

[sulawesigirl4]

Originally posted by Klodomir:

Originally posted by sulawesigirl4:
I'm not an actor, I'm not a star
And I don't even have my own car.

Oh wait, none of you would know this band, they're Danish. N/M.

Oh Sula, I do know them, for I used to be Danish too.

hehe. Actually, I have a soft spot for MLTR. We used to listen to them ALL the time in Indonesia. But I gotta admit, some of their lyrics...lol.

-sula

 

[david]

Brother Pele's in the back
Sweet Zina's in the front
Cruising down the freeway
In the hot, hot sun

Suddenly red blue lights
Flash us from behind
Loud voice booming
"Please step out onto the line"

Pele breathes words of comfort
Zina just hides her eyes
Policeman taps his shades
Is that a Chevy 69?

How bizarre
How bizarre
How bizarre

Destination unknown
As we pull in for some gas
Freshly pasted poster
Reveals a smile from the past

Elephants and acrobats,
Lions snakes monkeys
Pele speaks "righteous"
Sister Zina says "funky"

How bizarre
How bizarre
How bizarre

Oooh baby, (oooh baby)
It's making me crazy, (it's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around (look around)
Everytime I look around (everytime I look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face

Ringmaster steps out
Says the elephants left town
People jump and jive
But the clowns have stuck around

T.V. news and camera
There's choppers in the sky
Marines, police, reporters
Ask where, for and why

Pele yells "we're outta here"
Zina says "right on"
Making moves and starting grooves
Before they knew we're gone

Jumped into the Chevy
Headed for big lights,
Want to know the rest?
Hey, buy the rights,

How bizarre
How bizarre
How bizarre

Oooh baby, (oooh baby)
It's making me crazy, (it's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around (look around)
Everytime I look around (everytime I look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face

Oooh baby, (oooh baby)
It's making me crazy, (it's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around (look around)
Everytime I look around (everytime I look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face

Oooh baby, (oooh baby)
It's making me crazy, (it's making me crazy)
Everytime I look around (look around)
Everytime I look around (look around)
Everytime I look around
It's in my face

------------------
The more of these I drink the more Bono makes sense.. - Bean from the KROQ Breakfast with U2.

 

[Angel]

O'Town - "Liquid Dreams"

Really, you can simply stop at the name... but the lyrics!! Feckin hilarious.

Posters of love surrounding me I'm lost in a world of fantasy
Every night she comes to me
And gives me all the love I need

Now this, hot girl, she's not your average girl
She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine
And she's so fine, designed to blow your mind
She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen (whoo)

Chorus

All)
I dream about a girl whose a mix of Destiny's Child
Just little touch of Madonna's wild style
With Janet Jackson's smile
Throw in a body like Jennifer's
You've got the star of my liquid dreams
My liquid dreams

Angelina Jolie's lips to kiss in the dark
Underneath Cindy C's beauty mark
When it comes to the test well Tyra's the best
And Selma Hayek brings the rest (ohhh)

Now this hot girl, she's not your average girl
She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine
And she's so fine, designed to blow your mind
She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen (whoo)

Chorus

Looks ain't everthing
She's got the sweetest personality
Like Halle B (Halle B)

My mama thinks I'm lazy
My friends all think I'm crazy
But in my mind
I leave the world behind

Every night I dream
Liquid dreams
My liquid dreams
Waterfalls and streams
These liquid dreams (ooohhh)

 

[ocu2fan]

Originally posted by oliveu2cm:

Grace: whats up w/ the chalk/walk rhymes? not on a ramp or on CHALK? what?

I've wondered many times about this couplet too!

 

[speedracer]

"Morpherotic" is possibly the biggest crime committed against the English language since the (re)invention of the word "proactive".

 

[NON-POPtart]

Ooh ooh I thought of another one:

Better Than Ezra's new song where it goes something like- 'we got more hooks than Madonna's got looks, muggin' on your sister smart as Bobby Fisher!'

There was more of the same but I don't remember it.

 

[Saracene]

How about this:

"Don't analyze, don't analyze,
Don't go that way, don't leave that way,
That would paralyze your evolutio-o-on!" (errr... what?)

I swear, The Cranberries are one of the world's most frustrating bands. They've got nice melodies and one of the clearest, most distinct female vocals in the world, but then they have to go and spoil it all with the lyrics that even a five-year-old child would probably find cringe-worthy.

 

[scatteroflight]

I am extremely fond of this line from...uh...what's it called? The Backstreet Boys song..oh yeah, "Everybody." It has many classic lines, but nothing beats this:

"Oh my God, we're back again!"

The way he delivers it is the funniest thing I have ever heard. He's so excited about the fact that they're back (when did they go away??) that all he can say is "Oh my God, we're back again!" I absolutely love it.



------------------
You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
Your story to remain untold
Your love not to grow cold