Jon: Bono attends White House meeting on debt relief, the Edge attends State Department meeting on AIDS....It's alllll gonna be alright.
When BONO wanted to honor the Reverend Martin Luther King, he gave us PRIDE in the name of love. [clip from Pride video] When BONO wanted to skewer the pomposity of corporate rock he gave us POPmart [quick flash of pelvic thrusts from Discotheque vid]. Now when BONO wants to urge the biggest nations in the world to forgive third world debt, he shows up at the White House wearing racket goggles! [quick clip of Bono at meeting]
Jon: (aside) Bono attended the White House meeting only after Don Henley drew the "school vouchers" straw.
[clip of Bono at a press conference]
Bono: And when Americans find out that the richer they get, the less they give...they start asking some questions. That's not what Americans want, I know enough about American people to say that.
[/end of clip, back to Jon staring deadpan at the camera with a very "uh huh, suuuure" look in his eyes]
Jon: Right! He also knows enough about Americans to know that PEOPLE get around exclusively by private jet, Tshirts are only sold in stadium parking lots and the most popular form of greeting in America is "WOOO, BAAAHNO!"
Bono is not the only musician to involve himself in politics. Sting is well known for his efforts to help the rainforest, while the Baha Men remained committed to efforts to discover WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!
[Jon then is joined by "economic expert" Steven Colbert who goes through this very jargon-heavy discussion on 3rd world debt. Then they decide to break it down more simply]
Steven: Ok, you be the United States. I'll be a third world country...Surinam, Namibia...NO. Benin!
Jon: OK
Steven: Now, I need money to help raise my crops, educate my children, and build a hydroelectric damn on the Gambibulango River. So...give me twenty dollars.
Jon: (looking suspicious). Ummm...ok.
Steven: (takes bill and puts it in his pocket)
*silence...Jon looks at Steven expectantly.*
Steven: (holding his empty hands out) TADA!
Jon: I don't think I get it.
Steven: Alright, maybe I'm not explaining this right. Gimme another $20.
Jon: what? but I just gave you...
Steven: Give me another $20, Jon.
Jon: ok...but I still don't understand
(hands over another bill)
Steven: Thank you. This time, I absolutely, positively, promise you, promise you. I will pay you back.
Jon: When?
Steven: Never. I can never pay you back.
Jon: So debt relief means, I give you money and you never pay me back?
Steven: Almost. I'd also like you to forgive me.
Jon: Well I'm not going to do that.
Steven: Oh, that's what everyone says. But try not to forgive me now...
(leans down and comes back up wearing really big imitations of Bono glasses)
Steven: *singing into his clip on mike* Did I disappoint youuuuu...leave a bad taste in your mouth....
[audience joins in on key lines in the song]
Jon: So debt relief is I give you money, you never pay me back and Bono makes it all ok?
Steven: Yeah, pretty much.
Jon: How long has it been like this?
Steven: (thoughtfully) mm, since Rattle and Hum.
