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Old 04-01-2002, 07:51 AM   #1
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Another reason Im grateful to be a U2 fan

Reuters —The music world was shaken by tragedy Sunday night when members of the popular rock band Phish collapsed on stage after being overcome by the stench of concert-goers during a show.
The collapse occurred approximately 40 minutes into the song "You Enjoy Myself," when the four band members—Mike Gordon, Trey Anastasio, Johnathan Fishman and Page McConnell— became overwhelmed by a combination of body odor, marijuana and the patchouli oil many Phish fans use in lieu of bathing. The foursome was rushed to the emergency room of Denver Lutheran Hospital, where they were partially revived by emergency oxygen treatment. As of press time, the musicians are still listed in critical condition.
Though authorities are still debating the cause of the tragedy, preliminary reports indicate that a mechanical malfunction in the band's $40,000 on-stage ventilation system is to blame. The system, which employs five computer-controlled, industrial-sized wind machines to blow fumes away from the stage area, has been used by the million-selling group since 1992 to combat the "danger layer" of toxic odors which surround the band's rabid fan base at all times.
Despite the ventilation breakdown, many observers feel that the real blame for the injuries lies with Phish itself, as for years the band has recklessly encouraged its fans' non-hygienic lifestyle.
"They've been burning the candle at both ends for way too long. This was bound to happen," said the EPA's Helen Duenoff, who as chair of the Hippie Band Toxicity Task Force has studied the effects of fan odor on members of bands like Phish, Rusted Root and Blues Traveler. "Phish's message of 'party now, wash later' has simply got to change."
Further controversy stems from the fact that efforts to save the stricken musicians were hampered by a semi-riot, which occurred when rescue workers attempted to gain access to the stage area.
Surrounding the fallen performers in a circle of linked hands and attempting to heal them with "crystal light energy" and an improvised version of "Silent in the Morning," several hundred Phish fans erupted into violence at the sight of the gas mask-wearing, uniformed rescue personnel.
With angry shouts of "Attica!" and "Off the pig!" fans hurled hacky sacks and bongs at paramedics, and blocked ambulances arriving at the accident scene with hastily erected barricades.
Forming a linked-arm "human wall," the fans effectively trapped Phish and paramedics in a deadly envelope of unbreathable toxic vapor, holding off attempts to remove the band to safety for a full 30 minutes before finally being cleared by riot police, who used high-pressure fire hoses filled with a powerful soap/water solution to disperse the crowd.
"That was so wrong of those cops, man," said odorous fan Kathy Breyer, 20, whose brand-new hemp necklace and tie-dyed "Phishisgruvin" T-shirt were ruined in the hosing incident. "And worst of all, they did it right when the band was about to play 'Slave to the Traffic Light.'"
Added Breyer: "I have 940 bootlegs."
Only one member of Phish, singer/guitarist Trey Anastasio, managed to escape serious harm in the incident, going backstage unnoticed during one of the band's trademark hour-long jams to rest and consume drugs.

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Old 04-01-2002, 07:59 AM   #2
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Old 04-01-2002, 08:30 AM   #3
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God bless the Onion.
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Old 04-01-2002, 10:58 AM   #4
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That's pretty funny!!!

And, if you've ever been to a Phish show, Grateful Dead, Phil Lesh and Friends, Bob Weir and the Other Ones, Steve Kimmock (KVHW), or even Bruce Hornsby now, you can definetly relate to this article!!!!!

Dang, those rich hippy kids are stinky as hell!!!

What are we going to do now It's all been said,
No new ideas in the house and Every book has been read....
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