i don't know whether to do the laugh or the hug smiley and i sort of hate those smileys at the moment so i won't post either. heh
i hate that my parents are together. i think that's half the reason i feel "this" way whatever that is...it's like i looked through my 2nd grade diary and i wanted it then. i was so much happier living with my dad. he was happier too. the only reason they live together is because they can't afford to divorce or keep two residences or whatever. i knew it was true and i told my dad that and he admitted it. and even though i know it i hate that he admitted it because i hate it. they're always fighting and last night in particular...and my mom shot my dad this sort of stormy glare. i can't explain it but it reminded me of the kind of look she would send me or him when i was younger when she was dry and mad, and its not just hurtful but it was really scary then, and it just reminded me of that and i just like went in the bathroom and cried. i need to stop thinking so much, i need to stop letting everything remind me of something else. because i'm really really happy with so much in my life but there are just certain things and times where i'm so unhappy and i can't even say why or what