ABEL
An Angel In Devil's Shoes
My brother e-mailed me this a while back.
I was just wondering what kind of definitions interferencers would come up with for the following words.
The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. Following are some of the winning entries:
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted(adj.), appalled at how much weight you've gained.
Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Bustard (n.), a very rude Metrobus driver.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you have been run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Semantics (n.), pranks performed by young men studying for the priesthood.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his or her conversation with Yiddishisms.
Frisbatarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
I was just wondering what kind of definitions interferencers would come up with for the following words.
The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. Following are some of the winning entries:
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted(adj.), appalled at how much weight you've gained.
Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Bustard (n.), a very rude Metrobus driver.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you have been run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Semantics (n.), pranks performed by young men studying for the priesthood.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his or her conversation with Yiddishisms.
Frisbatarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
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