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Old 01-13-2002, 09:14 PM   #21
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i don't think you were talking to me, but i agree Zoomerang96, guys are pricks too. we suck, but that is because women make us crazy insane.



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Old 01-13-2002, 10:19 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by The_acrobat:
At the end of 2000, I broke up with my longtime girlfriend. Through most of 2001, I took a much needed and much deserved break from dating. It was nice. I started dating in the fall, and three times I've gotten the "we shouldn't see each other anymore, you're too nice." I'm too nice? WTF?

A little about me. I'm not one of those sensitive pussies who sits around and recites poetry, or tells a girl I love her prematurely. I only demand to go out with a girl maybe once a week. I'm a farmer, so I've got that whole "rugged" thing going. But I try to treat women with respect, because that's just the way I am.

But I talked to a bunch of girls, and they say they like guys who are assholes to them. They like the chase....the thrill of victory after taming a guy who treats them like shit. They say that if a guy likes them, then there's not a challenge or a thrill out of it.....

I'm not saying all women are terrible people. I'm just wondering why women like the assholes. Girls, your perspective on this topic would be welcomed.

hmm...i'll date you! LOL

(oh yeah, that shit the girls have been giving you is their lame way of avoiding the issue. you're better off without them.)

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Old 01-13-2002, 10:31 PM   #23
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Arseholes...

I dont get it, why would u wanna go out with someone who makes u feel like shit or bad about yourself?
Ive never understood it but then again Im not one of these people who needs to be with someone to not feel alone.
Being with someone that doesn't make you feel good about yourself is a waste of time.
Girls who date them, I dunno, maybe they are arseholes too?
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Old 01-13-2002, 10:41 PM   #24
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The issue might not be that you are too nice, but that you are too accomodating. Now, I really don't know your situation at all, so I might be way off, but lots of times girls don't want to be catered to too much at first. Do your dates (i.e. where you go, the time, what you talk about and do, etc.) and correspondence with them center disproportionately on the girl? Your consideration for them and being overly "nice" may come off as you being REALLY interested to a pathetic point. They may see you as already won over, and they might not be as sold on you as they think you are on them. Therefore, they break up with you so they don't hurt your feelings more, even though they might have ended up liking you more than you might like them.

I know I can go out on a few dates with a guy, and like him a lot, but feel like he is way more serious about me than I am about him. I have felt bad about this, and in an attempt to fix the situation, I stopped going out with them...not because they were too "nice", but because they were too "nice to me". On the other hand, I can go out some with a guy, and like him a lot, and feel like he is interested in me, but also, that he is not centering the majority of what he does around me. The difference is hard to explain...it doesn't really have to do with treatment, but I guess it's in things like frequency of calls, always asking what the girl wants to do, etc.

Now, this could totally not be the case, but this is why I once stopped dating a "nice" guy.
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Old 01-14-2002, 12:08 AM   #25
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Why are so many men a**holes?


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Old 01-14-2002, 01:58 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by scatteroflight:
Why are so many men a**holes?


Wow, Scatter brings up a good point. Maybe woman eventually have to date assholes because there are so many.

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Old 01-14-2002, 02:05 AM   #27
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How frigging depressing.

*stabs self with fork*
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Old 01-14-2002, 06:32 AM   #28
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To be quite honest, I think the whole "you're too nice" thing means the same as "it's not you, it's me", i.e. "it's you". It's just something that silly girls say because they think it's a nice way of breaking up.
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Old 01-14-2002, 08:27 AM   #29
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er....I dont like assholes! A lot of shit comes out of them........
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Old 01-14-2002, 04:15 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mrs. Edge:
Of course women want nice guys. BUT, I have known some nice guys who have bored me to tears, and some nice guys who have thrilled me beyond words! I think it just boils down to common interests, chemistry, spark etc.
Quote:
Originally posted by Klodomir:
To be quite honest, I think the whole "you're too nice" thing means the same as "it's not you, it's me", i.e. "it's you". It's just something that silly girls say because they think it's a nice way of breaking up.
I feel we might finally be on to something
hope to see all of you at the next group session for the onely and deranged

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Old 01-14-2002, 04:32 PM   #31
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hmm, i'm not an a-hole but i am nice. asked a bunch of girls out an i get the same response, i have a bf or i'm busy. wonder if i need a lil mike tyson attitude in me an get a mohawk an get my lips pierced to get a gf because i'm nice? i don't understand the female species much. hell maybe i'll have good luck this thursday at my fave kareoke bar.
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Old 01-14-2002, 04:47 PM   #32
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Here's a woman's perspective from someone caught between the nice guy and the not so nice guy ( according to some opinions, anyway ). There's a passion with the notsonice guy that I just haven't found with anyone else... maybe it's the fact that we can have knock-down-drag-out fights and still be okay in the morning. I'm personaly a very spirited person- and part of what I want- right now anyway- is someone as spirited and passionate as I am. Sometimes that means a rollercoaster ride of emotions. But sometimes it's worth the thrill.
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Old 01-14-2002, 05:07 PM   #33
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woman like assholes for the same reason they like PLEBA - they're eeedeeeots!

Seriously, I'm a woman and I too have a similar story.
I always was what you would call a "doormat".
I had the Big L stamped on my forehead when it came to meeting the right person.

I will give you an example to illustrate how much of an idiot I was.

Enter man who said he was interested. I thought he was. I don't know if he just wanted to get me to bed or what? He didin't if you're wondering. Maybe he found me to be his sugar-momma - I think that was it.

He drifted from job to job. Was a roadies for bands and wanted to travel around with them - you know pretending to be cool. He always had the knack of getting me to pay for everything we did. He didn't drive. He didn't work. He smoke , he drank and he like to travel go figure.

In one of his talks he managed to get me to pay for a trip for him to go with this band that he supposedly was a roadie for. Go figure I said OK. He told me it was important to him. Told me he'd pay me back.


...whatever....then in Vegas or wherever the hell he was he calls me up...tells me he is in trouble something about a ticket and I needed to wire him money - in the hundreds - and did I do it - yes I did.

He gets back and tells me some song and dance about how it's not me. It's him. But don't worry he'll pay me back.

Yeah right. Suffice to say it took police and others to get involved to get everything back...but that's in the past.

I now am blessed with a man who is just like you, a nice guy, and been married for 12 years now with 2 children.

Can I just say, that hang tight, they will eventually see the error in their ways - at least we can hope for that.

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Old 01-14-2002, 05:09 PM   #34
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Hi, I'm the person who originally started this thread. Your topics are all very interesting, and actually have put a lot of things into perspective.

Guys, if a girl says that you are too nice/too good for her, chances are she is right. A lot of these girls have low self esteem. In fact, I don't know a single female with high self esteem. I'm sure there are some, though. Guys, what you have to do is find a way to tap into that self esteem, and raise it. Now sure, there are some girls who are just skanks and wanna screw everyone. But with nice, decent girls (aka the only ones worth the time) you just have to find a way to make them feel good about themselves, and feel good about you. Don't be too demanding of your girl, allow her space, but also let her know you care. There's no formula, seeing how everyone is different. Don't be too nice, but give her the general respect, plus something else that makes what you two have special.

My problem, now that I think about it, is that I'm not even 20 yet. So the girls I usually date are 17-20. Girls that age don't know what they want at all, so patience is involved. Not all guys know what they want either. But I have older brothers, and grew up hanging around older people, so I am in many ways more mature. They are all getting married and stuff, and it makes me wanna settle down, ya know? But having a woman isn't everything. Eventually, I'll get one. Thanks for the help, ya'll.
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Old 01-14-2002, 05:34 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by Salome:
Quote:
Originally posted by The_acrobat:
Why do women like assholes?
because they are very handy when you need to go to the toilet?

Good lord, I don't want to know what you and your companion do in the bathroom.
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Old 01-15-2002, 03:05 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by zonelistener:
Wow, Scatter brings up a good point. Maybe woman eventually have to date assholes because there are so many.

I'm feeling cynical in this area of life right now...there are of course a lot of women out there who fall into that category too.



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