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Katie Holmes had an epidural.
Since the phrase "too much information" does not apply to the birth of Tom Cruise's new baby, numerous details were disseminated Wednesday, one day after the blessed event.
According to People magazine, which as noted by Gawker.com had at least one correspondent on binocular watch outside Cruise's Beverly Hills estate, and should know such things, Holmes was administered anesthesia during labor.
Scientology, the religion which counts Holmes as a recent convert, normally frowns on painkillers. But Cruise told ABC News last week that if his fiancee "needs an epidural, she's gonna get her epidural."
As for the matter of the silent birth, Holmes, 27, had one of those, too. At least that was the speculation of People executive editor Peter Castro who said on Wednesday's Today, "We think it was a silent birth."
According to the Church of Scientology's official Website, a silent birth means "labor and delivery done in a calm and loving environment and with no spoken words by everyone attending as much as possible." The hush-hush policy applies to the mother, but is specific to words, not groans: "It is doubtful that any woman could give birth without making any noise at all."
For his part, Cruise, 43, a longtime Scientologist, denied a report that he'd fitted Holmes with a pacifier in order to ensure quiet in the delivery room.
In a celebrity coincidence of the highest order, Holmes' delivery room was down the hall from Brooke Shields' at St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California. Shields, who'd tangled with Cruise last year over how to treat postpartum depression (Shields had suffered from it; Cruise had opined about it); gave birth Tuesday to a daughter named Grier.
Suri, the moniker for the Cruise-Holmes baby, came under scrutiny like everything else surrounding the child. Whereas the couple's publicist pointed out that Suri means "princess" in Hebrew and "red rose" in Persian, the Los Angeles Times pointed out that Suri means "pickpocket" in Japanese. It also was the acronym for what once was known as the Syracuse University Research Institute.
Holmes and Suri were "doing well" Tuesday afternoon, the Cruise-Holmes rep said. By Tuesday night, Holmes, Cruise and the baby, possessed of "lots and lots of dark hair and big, blue eyes," per People, were at Cruise's home, where they joined media lookie loos and fans.
Jamie Foxx, Cruise's former Collateral costar, reacted to news of the birth by calling the actor, per the Associated Press, "one of the nicest guys in the world and it's just great to see him win." Kirstie Alley, a fellow Scientologist, said, "Yay, yay, yay!"
Cruise and Holmes are engaged to be married. While no wedding date has been set, Cruise has said the ceremony would occur after Holmes gave birth (one down...) and Mission: Impossible III opens May 5 (one to go...).
No word if Suri will make the M:I-III premiere decked out with fringe on her top.
Things just don't add up at all with this "supposed" pregnancy.
