this one reminds me of cujo
Eddie: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! [buzz] All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding]
Eddie: Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz] _A_ date. [buzz] Dinner with friends. [buzz] Dinner alone. [buzz] Watching TV alone. [buzz] All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz] Sears catalog. [ding] Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! [buzz]
ok it reminds me of me
Homer: Look kids! I just got my party invitiations back from the printers.
Lisa: "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."
Bart: What's that extra B for?
Homer: It's a typo.
Lisa: Uhh, excuse me? Isn't there anything here that doesn't have meat in it?
Doris: Possibly the meat loaf.
Judge: Before I can return your children, you'll have to complete a course called "Family Skills". It teaches parents to listen to their ?
Homer: Communication, gotcha.
Judge: But it's important to ?
Homer: Listen, yes, I know.
Judge: But there's more to it than ?
Homer: I have listening skills!
Judge: Mr. Simpson, would you please ?
Homer: Shut up, Judge!
Homer : "Kids, Kids! I'm not gonna die! That only happens to bad people!"
Bart : "What about Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer : "Err...He sold poisoned milk to school children!"
Yeah, Moe, that team sucked last night. Now I've seen a team suck, but they just plain sucked, they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Gotta go Moe, my damn weiner kids are listening.
Chief Wiggum: Sorry, you have the wrong number. This is 9-1-2
Sideshow Bob: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you. I deride your truth-handling abilities.
Homer: I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am
Lenny: Ow, my eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story
Grandpa: Dear Mr. President,
There are too many states nowadays.
Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot
Flanders: I think we hit something!
Homer: I hope it's Flanders!
Carl: "Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island."
Lenny: "Yeah, to capture a giant ape."
Carl: "I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island."
Charlie: "Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?"
Carl: "Apes. But they're not so big."
Homer: I like my beer cold?my TV loud?and my homosexuals flaming
Mr. Burns:"I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Wayland"
Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!
Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I believe your husband is DOA....
Marge: HE'S DEAD?!!
Chief Wiggum: Oh, no, that's DWI. I always get these police terms mixed up.
Women in Police Station: Hi, you said my husband was DWI....
Homer: We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?
