The Ultimate "Simpsons" Quote Thread - Page 5

HeartlandGirl · 03-13-2003, 08:27 AM

Flanders: "Apparently heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State."

Duff Man: "Duff Man is thrusting in the direction of the problem!"

"You must be at least this swarthy to enter." --sign outside a dance club

Schoolmaster, slapping at Homer: "Monkeys point."
Homer: "Monkeys cry."

Stories for Boys · 03-13-2003, 10:50 PM

who is it?
potato man
where the hell 'ave you been?

**Diemen** · 03-14-2003, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Basstrap
Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

This gets my vote for best quote.

filledeperle · 03-14-2003, 02:03 PM

"No TV, no beer makes Homer go something, something" - Homer
"Go Crazy?" - Marge
"Don't mind if I do!" - Homer

"Leave my wife and kids! Take me!" - Homer
Zombies tap on his head, and leave: "Brains, brains, brains..."

"Smithers, I invited a new plane. I call it the Spruce-Moose! It can make a trans-atlantic flight in 17 seconds!" - Burns
"That's an interesting model, sir."
"Model?"

"It would be a nice departure from the Do As We Say Festival, started by German settlers in 1946" - Kent Brockman

"Leave him alone, he's just a kid"
"I'll show them who's just a kid!" - Bart
"Bart! Time for bed! I laid out your jammy-jams!" - Marge

"Is there anyone in this room who does not wish to kill this woman?" - lawyer
All hands go up, including one of Marge's sisters (I forget which)
"Oh, she's always leaving the toilet seat up!"

"Uh-oh! My heart just stoppped!" - Barney - "Ah, there it goes!"

"Oh, hi I'm Troy McClure! You may remember from some self-help videos such as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confidence, Stupid!"

"If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room" - Lisa
"What kind of a catch phrase is that?" - Homer

filledeperle · 03-14-2003, 02:06 PM

"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub!" - Bart

"Lis, today I am a god" - Bart
"Is that why you are sitting on an ice-cream sandwich?" - Lisa

"Dad, how would you feel if no one allowed you to watch the moon landing?" - Lisa
"Yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy..." - Homer

"Mom, what was my first word?" - Bart
"Aye carumba!" - Baby Bart
"Oh gee Bart, I don't know" - Marge

"Oh cry for me, I'm already dead." - Barney in film
"Wow, I'll never have another beer" - Homer
"Beer here!"
"I'll take ten"

"This is not a library!"

"Thank you, and come again!"

cool thread

czardog1 · 03-14-2003, 02:38 PM

"Ohh how I have wasted my Life" Comic book guy.

"It taste Like burning" Ralph

"Son, here in America we dont quit when things dont go our way. We just do a real Half Assed job." Homer

Elvis Presley · 03-14-2003, 02:40 PM

"worst thread ever"

Screaming Flower · 03-14-2003, 02:41 PM

daisybean · 03-14-2003, 02:44 PM

I think you meant to reply to the simpson thread

HeartlandGirl · 03-14-2003, 03:25 PM

"The South will come again!" Apu, dressed up for the Civil War reenactment

senrab · 03-14-2003, 10:10 PM

from the Sherry Bobbins episode...

*singing*
If there's a task that must be done
Don't turn your head and run
Don't pout! Don't sob!
Just do a half-assed jobbbbbbb!
----------------
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not 'till you're fifteeeeeeeeen....

kobayashi · 03-15-2003, 10:06 AM

moe: the next place that guy robs better have a ramp.
___________________________________________
*homer floods the town as part of an art project
*burn victim care building: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

nbcrusader · 03-19-2003, 11:32 AM

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson

~LadyLemon~ · 03-19-2003, 01:06 PM

Bart: "Dad, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?"

*Otto outside Stoner's Pot Palace*
"Man, talk about false advertising!"

senrab · 03-20-2003, 11:07 PM

"I'm so hungry I could eat at ARBY's!"
Kids: "Woaaaah! Oh my God!!!"

cujo · 03-20-2003, 11:16 PM

Ralph: Ms. Hoover, can I have another worm? I ate my other one.

Lisa: I didn't know Xena could fly...
Xena: I'm not Xena, I'm Lucy Lawless...
Lisa and Bart: oh.

The_Sweetest_Thing · 03-21-2003, 06:06 PM

Homer: That's it. You people been in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college.
Bart: I don't think anybody expected him to say that.

Homer: Jump Free Willy! Jump Free Willy! Jump with all your might!
Characters: Oh no! Willy didn't make it...and he's crushed our boy!
Homer: Ahh, I don't like this new director's cut.

Homer: Lisa could you please pass me the syrup.
Lisa: Bart, tell dad I will only pass it to him if he isn't going to use it on any meat products.
Bart: You gonna dunk that sausage in the sauce, homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart that I just want to drink a glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Homer, you can tell him yourself, it's Lisa you're not talking to, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out to me.

Homer: You don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. Cause when you reach over and stick a hand in a pile of goo that was your friends face, you'll know what to do. Forget it Marge, it's China town!

Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!

Dr. Nick Riveria: Hi everybody
Burns: Ho...merSimp...son
Nick: Okay...that was a little strange. When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain being damaged?

Maude Flanders: Edna, I really don't think we're talking about love. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down!

Officer: There's a couple of guys fighting at the aquarium, Chief.
Wiggum: They still sell those frozen bananas?
Officer: I think so.
Chief: Let's roll.

elevation2u · 03-21-2003, 06:11 PM

"yuck!!! I'll take a crab juice"

homer on mountain dew

Headache in a Suitcase · 03-25-2003, 05:47 PM

"you know i've had a lot of jobs... boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carney, mayor, drifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventer, smithers, poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer barron, quickie mart clerk, homophobe and missionary... but protecting springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all"
-homer j. simpsons, poppa's got a brand new badge

Headache in a Suitcase · 03-25-2003, 05:50 PM

Bart: Hey Milhouse, you wanna have some fun?
Milhouse: Um... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... OKAY!!!

03-13-2003, 08:27 AM	#81
HeartlandGirl Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Phoenix Posts: 7,166 Local Time: 12:40 PM	Flanders: "Apparently heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State." Duff Man: "Duff Man is thrusting in the direction of the problem!" "You must be at least this swarthy to enter." --sign outside a dance club Schoolmaster, slapping at Homer: "Monkeys point." Homer: "Monkeys cry." __________________

03-13-2003, 10:50 PM	#82
Stories for Boys Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: chicago Posts: 5,876 Local Time: 02:40 PM	who is it? potato man where the hell 'ave you been? __________________

03-14-2003, 02:38 PM	#86
czardog1 Babyface Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Greenville Posts: 7 Local Time: 07:40 PM	Comic book guy. "Ohh how I have wasted my Life" Comic book guy. "It taste Like burning" Ralph "Son, here in America we dont quit when things dont go our way. We just do a real Half Assed job." Homer

03-14-2003, 02:44 PM	#89
daisybean Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Born under a bad sign with a blue moon in your eyes Posts: 8,577 Local Time: 02:40 PM	I think you meant to reply to the simpson thread __________________ "....But all I ever hear from you is "

03-15-2003, 10:06 AM	#92
kobayashi Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: the ether Posts: 5,142 Local Time: 03:40 PM	moe: the next place that guy robs better have a ramp. ___________________________________________ homer floods the town as part of an art project burn victim care building: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! __________________ im the candyman. and the candyman is back.

03-14-2003, 02:03 PM	#84
filledeperle Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 203 Local Time: 02:40 PM	"No TV, no beer makes Homer go something, something" - Homer "Go Crazy?" - Marge "Don't mind if I do!" - Homer "Leave my wife and kids! Take me!" - Homer Zombies tap on his head, and leave: "Brains, brains, brains..." "Smithers, I invited a new plane. I call it the Spruce-Moose! It can make a trans-atlantic flight in 17 seconds!" - Burns "That's an interesting model, sir." "Model?" "It would be a nice departure from the Do As We Say Festival, started by German settlers in 1946" - Kent Brockman "Leave him alone, he's just a kid" "I'll show them who's just a kid!" - Bart "Bart! Time for bed! I laid out your jammy-jams!" - Marge "Is there anyone in this room who does not wish to kill this woman?" - lawyer All hands go up, including one of Marge's sisters (I forget which) "Oh, she's always leaving the toilet seat up!" "Uh-oh! My heart just stoppped!" - Barney - "Ah, there it goes!" "Oh, hi I'm Troy McClure! You may remember from some self-help videos such as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confidence, Stupid!" "If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room" - Lisa "What kind of a catch phrase is that?" - Homer

03-14-2003, 02:06 PM	#85
filledeperle Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 203 Local Time: 02:40 PM	"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub!" - Bart "Lis, today I am a god" - Bart "Is that why you are sitting on an ice-cream sandwich?" - Lisa "Dad, how would you feel if no one allowed you to watch the moon landing?" - Lisa "Yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy..." - Homer "Mom, what was my first word?" - Bart "Aye carumba!" - Baby Bart "Oh gee Bart, I don't know" - Marge "Oh cry for me, I'm already dead." - Barney in film "Wow, I'll never have another beer" - Homer "Beer here!" "I'll take ten" "This is not a library!" "Thank you, and come again!" cool thread

03-14-2003, 02:40 PM	#87
Elvis Presley Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: eachnotesecure.com Posts: 5,058 Local Time: 03:40 PM	"worst thread ever"

03-14-2003, 02:41 PM	#88
Screaming Flower ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 11,961 Local Time: 02:40 PM

03-14-2003, 03:25 PM	#90
HeartlandGirl Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Phoenix Posts: 7,166 Local Time: 12:40 PM	"The South will come again!" Apu, dressed up for the Civil War reenactment

03-14-2003, 10:10 PM	#91
senrab Refugee Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Maryland Posts: 1,765 Local Time: 03:40 PM	from the Sherry Bobbins episode... singing If there's a task that must be done Don't turn your head and run Don't pout! Don't sob! Just do a half-assed jobbbbbbb! ---------------- Bart: Can I be a boozehound? Homer: Not 'till you're fifteeeeeeeeen....

03-19-2003, 11:32 AM	#93
nbcrusader Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 22,071 Local Time: 12:40 PM	"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson

03-19-2003, 01:06 PM	#94
~LadyLemon~ I Serve Larry's Stick Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Akron Posts: 7,392 Local Time: 03:40 PM	Bart: "Dad, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?" Otto outside Stoner's Pot Palace "Man, talk about false advertising!"

03-20-2003, 11:07 PM	#95
senrab Refugee Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Maryland Posts: 1,765 Local Time: 03:40 PM	"I'm so hungry I could eat at ARBY's!" Kids: "Woaaaah! Oh my God!!!"

03-20-2003, 11:16 PM	#96
cujo Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Province Posts: 5,820 Local Time: 01:40 PM	Ralph: Ms. Hoover, can I have another worm? I ate my other one. Lisa: I didn't know Xena could fly... Xena: I'm not Xena, I'm Lucy Lawless... Lisa and Bart: oh.

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03-21-2003, 06:06 PM	#97
The_Sweetest_Thing MacPhisto's serving wench Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Inside a bubble Posts: 3,773 Local Time: 02:40 PM	Homer: That's it. You people been in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college. Bart: I don't think anybody expected him to say that. Homer: Jump Free Willy! Jump Free Willy! Jump with all your might! Characters: Oh no! Willy didn't make it...and he's crushed our boy! Homer: Ahh, I don't like this new director's cut. Homer: Lisa could you please pass me the syrup. Lisa: Bart, tell dad I will only pass it to him if he isn't going to use it on any meat products. Bart: You gonna dunk that sausage in the sauce, homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart that I just want to drink a glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Homer, you can tell him yourself, it's Lisa you're not talking to, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out to me. Homer: You don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. Cause when you reach over and stick a hand in a pile of goo that was your friends face, you'll know what to do. Forget it Marge, it's China town! Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology. Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology. Homer: Okay, I will! Dr. Nick Riveria: Hi everybody Burns: Ho...merSimp...son Nick: Okay...that was a little strange. When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain being damaged? Maude Flanders: Edna, I really don't think we're talking about love. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N. Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron! I thought they closed that place down! Officer: There's a couple of guys fighting at the aquarium, Chief. Wiggum: They still sell those frozen bananas? Officer: I think so. Chief: Let's roll.

03-21-2003, 06:11 PM	#98
elevation2u Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: May 2002 Location: corner of Badlands & Magnolia Mountain Posts: 5,371 Local Time: 11:40 AM	"yuck!!! I'll take a crab juice" homer on mountain dew

03-25-2003, 05:47 PM	#99
Headache in a Suitcase Blue Crack Distributor Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: With the other morally corrupt bootlicking rubes. Posts: 72,024 Local Time: 03:40 PM	"you know i've had a lot of jobs... boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carney, mayor, drifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventer, smithers, poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer barron, quickie mart clerk, homophobe and missionary... but protecting springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all" -homer j. simpsons, poppa's got a brand new badge

03-25-2003, 05:50 PM	#100
Headache in a Suitcase Blue Crack Distributor Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: With the other morally corrupt bootlicking rubes. Posts: 72,024 Local Time: 03:40 PM	Bart: Hey Milhouse, you wanna have some fun? Milhouse: Um... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... OKAY!!! __________________