The Ultimate "Simpsons" Quote Thread - Page 3

Hallelujah Here She Comes · 03-10-2003, 09:20 AM

"I called him Tony Randall. He called me greenhorn. It was a thing we had."

"Attention: we are out of Bort license plates..."

senrab · 03-10-2003, 09:20 AM

"See my vest, see my vest, see my vesssst!"

Lisa: Grandpa, that flag only has 49 stars!
Grampa: I'll be dead in my grave before I recognize Missour-a!

Neddy: Hehe, knock that off, you two! It's time for church!
Rod and Todd: We're not going to church today.
Ned: Whhhhaaaaaaat? You give me one good reason!
Rod and Todd: Hahaha, it's Saturday!!!
Ned: Ohhh hehehe okely dokely doo!

*Bart offers Rod and Todd pixie stix*
Todd: Ohhhh thank you, but we're not allowed...
Bart: There's no sugar in pixie stix!

*family goes school shopping, sign says "CATCH BACK TO SCHOOLIOSIS*

Lisa: Collllllllllege ruuuulllllled....

Marge: Bart, why are you buying only paper clips and rubber bands? Don't you need a notebook or something?
Bart: Eh, we do everything on computers.

*EXTRA EXTRA TODD SMELLS*
Todd smells? Aw, I already knew that.

dsmith2904 · 03-10-2003, 11:18 AM

"I didn't think it was physically possible but this both sucks and blows"

"I'm peddling backwards"

dsmith2904 · 03-10-2003, 11:19 AM

"George Harrison, oh my God, where did you get that brownie?"

"Eh, it's been done," George Harrison's response to the B-Sharps reunion.

Hewson · 03-10-2003, 11:57 AM

The Bigfoot diet...Pork Chops aplenty

Ohhh...why do all the bad things taste so good.

Lisa: Mom's sure gonna be happy you won all that money gambling on football
Homer: You'd think so wouldn't you.

Danospano · 03-10-2003, 12:33 PM

##########################################
Dr Nick: "If you want to gain weight, be creative. Instead of making a sandwich with bread, use Pop-Tarts, instead of chewing celery sticks, chew bacon.

Bart: "Hey, you could start brushing your teeth with milk-shakes!"

Dr. Nick: "Did you attend Upstairs, Hollywood Medical School too?"
##########################################

Nerd: "Mr Simpson your final exam is in three days! Have you even started to studying?"

Homer: "Well, actually I have a plan. I'll hide under some coats and hope that everything works out!"

Nerd: "No your not, because with our help you're going to cram like your never CRAMMED before!"

Homer: "Whatever....either way will work."
##########################################

Planet of the Apes: The Musical: "Dr. Zaus, Dr. Zaus (to the tune of "Rock Me Amadeus")...."Stop! The human is about to escape"...."Get your paws off me you di-r--ty ape!"....."He can talk.....He can talk? He can talk!"....."I can SIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!"

melon · 03-10-2003, 12:47 PM

Homer: Ahh, not a bear in sight. The bear patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning dad.
Homer: Thank you honey.
Lisa: By you're logic, i can claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Hmm..how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh huh.
Lisa: Its just a stupid rock!
Homer: Uh huh.
Lisa: But you don't see any tigers around here, do you?
Homer: (looks around, thinks) Lisa, I wanna buy your rock.

************************************

Bart: Cool! Personalized plates! Barcley, Barry, Barry, Bert, Bort...come on...Bort?
Kid: Mommy mommy! Buy me a license plate!
Mom: No! Come along Bort!
Guy: Are you talking to me?
Mom: No, my son's name is also Bort
...later...
Control Guy: We need more Bort liscence plates in the gift shop! I repeat, we are sold out of Bort liscence plates!

Melon

Stories for Boys · 03-10-2003, 06:00 PM

i am the lindberg baby! gaa gaa goo goo. i miss my fly fly da da

HEY! LOVE DAY WAS YESTERDAY, JERK!

are you crazy? or just senile?
a little from column a, a little from column b...

um, dad....towel bar...

Hallelujah Here She Comes · 03-10-2003, 06:47 PM

"-I'm the piano genius from Shine."
-What's your name?
-Uhhh...Shiney...McShine..."

Schmeg · 03-10-2003, 06:53 PM

Ooh! A stickey spot!

Mr. Simspon, you're licking blood and VapoRub!

Something in me knew that...

Hallelujah Here She Comes · 03-10-2003, 06:54 PM

Homer: *sings*

I'm dancin away my hunger pangs
I'm movin my feet so my stomach won't hurt
I'm kinda like Jesus but not in a sacreligious way

Lenny: something i can't remember...props to whoever can...
Carl: Yeah, but his weary shuffling makes my heart smile.

cujo · 03-10-2003, 07:02 PM

"Get out of the trash and into my car"- Homer

...

"Hello my name is Mr. Burns"- Homer

"Ok Mr. Burns what's your first name"- Bank teller

"I don't know..."- Homer *walks away*

cujo · 03-10-2003, 07:03 PM

*Gasp* " Furious George, what have they done to you?" -Mr. Burns

... that's my all time favorite

*TaylorMae* · 03-10-2003, 09:03 PM

"There there Homer. You've caused plenty of industrial accidents, but you've always bounced back"-Marge

Homer: Doc, this is all too much. I mean, my son, a genius?"
Dr.Pryer:Well, genius-level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and enviroment...
(Pryor sees Homer staring blankly)
Dr.Pryor: Uh...Although in some cases it's a total mystery

Bart: Is Jacques there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Jacques, Last name Strap
Moe: Hold on (calling out) Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm lookin for a Jacques Strap!

Basstrap · 03-10-2003, 09:15 PM

F**K YOU MELON!!!!

you took my rock quote!!!
NOOOO!!!!

DrMusk · 03-10-2003, 09:17 PM

My quote is simple, its constant, unwavering, and memorible...it will be.....
"EX-CELL-ENT" - Mr. Burns
"SMITHERS, TAKE OFF MY BELT! with pleasure sir!" -Mr. Burns and Smithers

Basstrap · 03-10-2003, 09:21 PM

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

*TaylorMae* · 03-10-2003, 09:21 PM

Computer Welcome: Hello Smithers, You're quite good at turning me on

Smithers: Uhh, you probably should ignore that

DrMusk · 03-10-2003, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by *TaylorMae*
Computer Welcome: Hello Smithers, You're quite good at turning me on

Smithers: Uhh, you probably should ignore that

hahaha good one

DrMusk · 03-10-2003, 09:26 PM

"-Bah pish-poash, everybody knows our mutants have 3 flippers! Oh whoops perhaps I've said too much. Smithers use the Amnesia ray.
-You mean the revolver sir
-Precisely " - Mr. Burns and Smithers

03-10-2003, 09:20 AM	#41
Hallelujah Here She Comes Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 3,528 Local Time: 01:48 PM	"I called him Tony Randall. He called me greenhorn. It was a thing we had." "Attention: we are out of Bort license plates..." __________________

03-10-2003, 09:20 AM	#42
senrab Refugee Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Maryland Posts: 1,765 Local Time: 02:48 PM	"See my vest, see my vest, see my vesssst!" Lisa: Grandpa, that flag only has 49 stars! Grampa: I'll be dead in my grave before I recognize Missour-a! Neddy: Hehe, knock that off, you two! It's time for church! Rod and Todd: We're not going to church today. Ned: Whhhhaaaaaaat? You give me one good reason! Rod and Todd: Hahaha, it's Saturday!!! Ned: Ohhh hehehe okely dokely doo! Bart offers Rod and Todd pixie stix Todd: Ohhhh thank you, but we're not allowed... Bart: There's no sugar in pixie stix! family goes school shopping, sign says "CATCH BACK TO SCHOOLIOSIS Lisa: Collllllllllege ruuuulllllled.... Marge: Bart, why are you buying only paper clips and rubber bands? Don't you need a notebook or something? Bart: Eh, we do everything on computers. EXTRA EXTRA TODD SMELLS Todd smells? Aw, I already knew that. __________________

03-10-2003, 09:26 PM	#60
DrMusk The Fly Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Maryland Posts: 246 Local Time: 01:48 PM	"-Bah pish-poash, everybody knows our mutants have 3 flippers! Oh whoops perhaps I've said too much. Smithers use the Amnesia ray. -You mean the revolver sir -Precisely " - Mr. Burns and Smithers __________________

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03-10-2003, 11:18 AM	#43
dsmith2904 ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Just keep me where the light is Posts: 12,290 Local Time: 11:48 AM	"I didn't think it was physically possible but this both sucks and blows" "I'm peddling backwards"

03-10-2003, 11:19 AM	#44
dsmith2904 ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Just keep me where the light is Posts: 12,290 Local Time: 11:48 AM	"George Harrison, oh my God, where did you get that brownie?" "Eh, it's been done," George Harrison's response to the B-Sharps reunion.

03-10-2003, 11:57 AM	#45
Hewson Blue Crack Supplier Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Your own private Idaho Posts: 33,455 Local Time: 02:48 PM	The Bigfoot diet...Pork Chops aplenty Ohhh...why do all the bad things taste so good. Lisa: Mom's sure gonna be happy you won all that money gambling on football Homer: You'd think so wouldn't you.

03-10-2003, 12:33 PM	#46
Danospano Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,415 Local Time: 01:48 PM	########################################## Dr Nick: "If you want to gain weight, be creative. Instead of making a sandwich with bread, use Pop-Tarts, instead of chewing celery sticks, chew bacon. Bart: "Hey, you could start brushing your teeth with milk-shakes!" Dr. Nick: "Did you attend Upstairs, Hollywood Medical School too?" ########################################## Nerd: "Mr Simpson your final exam is in three days! Have you even started to studying?" Homer: "Well, actually I have a plan. I'll hide under some coats and hope that everything works out!" Nerd: "No your not, because with our help you're going to cram like your never CRAMMED before!" Homer: "Whatever....either way will work." ########################################## Planet of the Apes: The Musical: "Dr. Zaus, Dr. Zaus (to the tune of "Rock Me Amadeus")...."Stop! The human is about to escape"...."Get your paws off me you di-r--ty ape!"....."He can talk.....He can talk? He can talk!"....."I can SIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!"

03-10-2003, 12:47 PM	#47
melon ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Ásgarðr Posts: 11,789 Local Time: 01:48 PM	Homer: Ahh, not a bear in sight. The bear patrol must be working like a charm. Lisa: That's spacious reasoning dad. Homer: Thank you honey. Lisa: By you're logic, i can claim that this rock keeps tigers away. Homer: Hmm..how does it work? Lisa: It doesn't work. Homer: Uh huh. Lisa: Its just a stupid rock! Homer: Uh huh. Lisa: But you don't see any tigers around here, do you? Homer: (looks around, thinks) Lisa, I wanna buy your rock. ************************************ Bart: Cool! Personalized plates! Barcley, Barry, Barry, Bert, Bort...come on...Bort? Kid: Mommy mommy! Buy me a license plate! Mom: No! Come along Bort! Guy: Are you talking to me? Mom: No, my son's name is also Bort ...later... Control Guy: We need more Bort liscence plates in the gift shop! I repeat, we are sold out of Bort liscence plates! Melon

03-10-2003, 06:00 PM	#48
Stories for Boys Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: chicago Posts: 5,876 Local Time: 01:48 PM	i am the lindberg baby! gaa gaa goo goo. i miss my fly fly da da HEY! LOVE DAY WAS YESTERDAY, JERK! are you crazy? or just senile? a little from column a, a little from column b... um, dad....towel bar...

03-10-2003, 06:47 PM	#49
Hallelujah Here She Comes Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 3,528 Local Time: 01:48 PM	"-I'm the piano genius from Shine." -What's your name? -Uhhh...Shiney...McShine..."

03-10-2003, 06:53 PM	#50
Schmeg Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: ATL Posts: 17,688 Local Time: 02:48 PM	Ooh! A stickey spot! Mr. Simspon, you're licking blood and VapoRub! Something in me knew that...

03-10-2003, 06:54 PM	#51
Hallelujah Here She Comes Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 3,528 Local Time: 01:48 PM	Homer: sings I'm dancin away my hunger pangs I'm movin my feet so my stomach won't hurt I'm kinda like Jesus but not in a sacreligious way Lenny: something i can't remember...props to whoever can... Carl: Yeah, but his weary shuffling makes my heart smile.

03-10-2003, 07:02 PM	#52
cujo Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Province Posts: 5,820 Local Time: 12:48 PM	"Get out of the trash and into my car"- Homer ... "Hello my name is Mr. Burns"- Homer "Ok Mr. Burns what's your first name"- Bank teller "I don't know..."- Homer walks away

03-10-2003, 07:03 PM	#53
cujo Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Province Posts: 5,820 Local Time: 12:48 PM	Gasp " Furious George, what have they done to you?" -Mr. Burns ... that's my all time favorite

03-10-2003, 09:03 PM	#54
TaylorMae Babyface Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Denver,Colorado Posts: 23 Local Time: 11:48 AM	"There there Homer. You've caused plenty of industrial accidents, but you've always bounced back"-Marge Homer: Doc, this is all too much. I mean, my son, a genius?" Dr.Pryer:Well, genius-level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and enviroment... (Pryor sees Homer staring blankly) Dr.Pryor: Uh...Although in some cases it's a total mystery Bart: Is Jacques there? Moe: Who? Bart: Jacques, Last name Strap Moe: Hold on (calling out) Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm lookin for a Jacques Strap!

03-10-2003, 09:15 PM	#55
Basstrap ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 10,726 Local Time: 04:18 PM	F**K YOU MELON!!!! you took my rock quote!!! NOOOO!!!!

03-10-2003, 09:17 PM	#56
DrMusk The Fly Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Maryland Posts: 246 Local Time: 01:48 PM	My quote is simple, its constant, unwavering, and memorible...it will be..... "EX-CELL-ENT" - Mr. Burns "SMITHERS, TAKE OFF MY BELT! with pleasure sir!" -Mr. Burns and Smithers

03-10-2003, 09:21 PM	#57
Basstrap ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 10,726 Local Time: 04:18 PM	Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day." Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."