The Random Seinfeld Quotes Thread

[FitzChivalry]

George: No, no that's pie country.

Jerry: Yeah.

George: They do a lot of baking up there.

Jerry: They sell them at the side of the road. Blueberry - Blackberry.

George: Blackberry - Boysenberry.

Jerry: Boysenberry - Huckleberry.

George: Huckleberry - Raspberry.

Jerry: Raspberry - Strawberry.

George: Strawberry - Cranberry.

Jerry: Peach!

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

"Not that there´s anything wrong with that".

 

[impy13]

This bump is gold, BrownEyedBoy! Gold!

 

[FitzChivalry]

JERRY: She's too good! I mean she's genuinely caring and concerned for the well-being of others. I can't be with a person like that. I couldn't imagine myself having sex with someone like that. I . . . I . . . I mean, I can't even imagine that she has sex!


(ELAINE enters.)


JERRY: On the other hand . . . .

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

This bump is gold, BrownEyedBoy! Gold!

One tries.

"If he can re-gift then you can de-gift."

 

[jobob]

They're real, and they're spectular.

 

[one4u2]

Seinfeld....Four!

Hilarious chinese restarant episode!


Let me tell you something joyboy..

The overdue library book lol

 

[maro_chik]

Cartwright!...

...Cartwright!!

 

[phillyfan26]

This bump is gold, BrownEyedBoy! Gold!

Yes, indeed. BrownEyedBoy keeps my thread going strong.

Cartwright!...

...Cartwright!!

Who's Cartwright?

I'm Cartwright.

 

[catlhere]

George: Ok everybody. Uh, I have an announcement to make... From now on I will be known as-

Mr. Kruger: Koko the Monkey.

George: *stares blankly* ...What?

Board Room: Koko! Koko! Koko!

 

[maro_chik]

"Sweet fancy Moses!"

 

[Mr. Green Eyes]

Elaine to the Soup Nazi - "It's over Soup Nazi, it's over. Next!"

Kenny to Jerry - "You gotta try the soup Jerry. It's the best Jerry! The best!!"

Elaine when seeing everyone at Monk's Cafe eating their candy bars with a knife and fork -"What's wrong with you people?! Have you all gone mad?!"

 

[LemonMelon]

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

That's awesome

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

"Oh yeah? Well, I had sex with your wife!"

 

[Mr. Green Eyes]

"George, his wife is in a coma."

 

[Mr. Green Eyes]

“Jerry: You see, Elaine, the key to eating a black and white cookie is that you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet still somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved.”
-Jerry Seinfeld

 

[thesuburbskill]

J: pennypacker
K: vandelay
G pennypacker. varnsen


- you've screwed me for the last time pennypacker!

 

[cliffdive]

"Get out!!!!!!!!!!!" - Elaine

"We'll tell him were frightened and we have to go home" - george

seinfeld rocks

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

 

[BAW]

Kramer: Have we been intimate?

Elaine: Yeah, yeah we’ve been intimate.

Kramer: And how often do we do it?

Elaine: Kramer! How is that important? Honestly, do you really think he’s going to ask you that?

Kramer: Elaine, he’s a psychiatrist. They’re interested in stuff like that.

Elaine: All right, all right. We do it, uh… five times a week. Okay?

Kramer: Ooooh baby!

 

[DaveC]

"What's it matter, you're their all time best-seller!"

My contribution:

George is at the conference room of the Susan Ross Foundation.

GEORGE: There are some people in this room who would have been very happy to never see this briefcase again. There are people in this room who think they can destroy other people's property and get away with it. Well, let me tell you something about those people. They weren't counting on this brain! And this tape recorder.

WYCK: George...

GEORGE: You'll have your turn! The truth must be heard. (Plays back the tape.) That's all there was. And yet, it speaks volumes. A low rumple. A metallic 'squink.' A 'glonk.' Someone crying out..."Dear God!" Let's start with, uh...with you, Wyck.

WYCK: George, Quinn here was moving a chair...he lost his balance and dropped it...it must have fallen on your briefcase, which, for some reason, contained a running tape recorder?

GEORGE: Alright, then. We've gotten to the bottom of that.

 

[FitzChivalry]

ELAINE (to George): You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? I'll give you a Christmas card! (Shoves GEORGE's face into her breasts.)

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

"Good thing the cleaning lady was there."

 

[hardyharhar]

George the marine biologist:

"The sea was angry that day, my friends"

 

[LemonMelon]

"It moved."

 

[pepokiss]

BOSCO!!!

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

"The sea was angry that day, my friends"

...like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli!

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

"You're giving ME the 'it's not you it's me?"

 

[jobob]

"I INVENTED 'it's not you it's me'!"