The Best Christmas/Holidays Pick-up Lines

[Dalton]

Baby, you can be the star on the top of my tree.

ok ... GO!

 

[zonelistener]

Nice ornaments...would you like to hang them on my tree?

 

[namkcuR]

You can deck my hall anytime.

You can jingle my bells anytime.

 

[Mr. BAW]

I'll show you chestnuts roasting on an open fire...



YEOW!

 

[waynetravis]

Wanna help me unwrap?

 

[coolian2]

Mary, Sex miss?

 

[redhotswami]

lol does this one count?

 

[waynetravis]

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

lol does this one count?

good times

 

[waynetravis]

Wanna see the North Pole?

 

[Dalton]

I need one about Quansa and Hannakuh

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

If your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays

 

[DreamOutLoud13]

I'd like to trim her tree

 

[waynetravis]

I put the 'scroo' in Scrooge

 

[Kiki]

If your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays

omg...that's a new one to me

 

[U2democrat]

Ooooooh man, I hope the guys in here don't actually use these

 

[Dalton]

Ooooooh man, I hope the guys in here don't actually use these

Shhhhhhh ....

I'm hoping they DO! Here's to good times and great stories.

 

[BluRmGrl]

I'm too impatient to wait for Christmas - is it OK if I unwrap your package now?

Wanna' see how I put the 'ho, ho, ho' in Holidays?

Mmm, mmm, mmm - I'd sure like to lick your candy cane!




These are deliciously hideous!

 

[Cin]

If your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays

told this to my husband thinking he would laugh, he said OK

my reply

 

[Kiki]

Ooooooh man, I hope the guys in here don't actually use these

I was thinking about that yesterday too!

told this to my husband thinking he would laugh, he said OK

my reply

mine just looked at me and didn't know what to say..... then he started laughing at me, said SURE! and asked where in the world I learned that!
I dont wanna say how I learned that.......

 

[MrPryck2U]

"Hey, check out my mistletoe belt buckle!"

 

[zuropa_fit]

"Hey, check out my mistletoe belt buckle!"

Awesome!

 

[angelordevil]

"How about some Christmas 'Spirit'?"

I am 'Spirit.'

 

[cliffdive]

I'm too impatient to wait for Christmas - is it OK if I unwrap your package now?

:

i've totally hear d a version of this....you can unwrap my package anytime

 

[GARY#2]

My "dreidel's" always playful. It lives for sit and spin.
A happy game of "dreidel", hop on and let's begin.

I'll bring the milk, if you bring Santa's nookies.

Kwanzaa pants are built for two.

 

[europop2005]

you wanna guide MY sleigh tonight?

 

[UberBeaver]

"Please? PLEASE! Come on, it's Christmas for Christs sake! Fine, go to your mothers! See what I care! I'll spend Christmas alone. AGAIN! Ugh. You make me sick."


Or I like to say in a really thick accent, "In my country, Christmas is the day of sex!" That rarely* works.













*Never.

 

[LyricalDrug]

Will you accept my unwrapped package?

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

I'm sure there are a couple of Santa "only coming once a year" or "coming down your chimney" jokes out there but I'm too much of a gentleman to mention them

 

[waynetravis]

Heres a crap one


Santa's coming to fill your wife's stocking