The best and the brightest

meegannie · 12-11-2002, 06:46 AM

Fresh from the pens of England's finest 15 year old's - these are fantastic!!!
These are metaphors from actual GCSE essays:

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

**Bonochick** · 12-11-2002, 08:04 AM

BWAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!

Laura M · 12-11-2002, 10:02 AM

Gotta love GCSE's

U2SavesTheWorld · 12-11-2002, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lara Mullen
Gotta love GCSE's

What are the GCSE's? Something like the ACTs or the SATs?

Those are damn funny!

Laura M · 12-11-2002, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by U2SavesTheWorld

What are the GCSE's? Something like the ACTs or the SATs?

Those are damn funny!

Yeah you do them when you are 16, I did one of mine when I was 15 though because I did Additional Maths

You do it in 9 subjects usually- I have 10 results though

Its cumpulsary to do science, English lang and Maths a language and you have to picks other subjects like history, Geo, Business Studies etc etc

You get grades from A* which is for the top 2% in the country (I got 3 smart ass that i was lol!) to an E and a U is ungraded I think anything from a C up is considered a pass

oliveu2cm · 12-11-2002, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by meegannie

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

cloudimani · 12-11-2002, 11:15 AM

not to be pedantic or anything, but the vast majority of those are similes, not metaphors :P

Not that I'd show off that I got A* in GCSE English

**bonosloveslave** · 12-11-2002, 11:16 AM

Wow - that's all I can say is wow......

meegannie · 12-11-2002, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cloudimani
not to be pedantic or anything, but the vast majority of those are similes, not metaphors :P

LOL!! I noticed that too! I just didn't change the text when I copied and pasted it.

Laura M · 12-11-2002, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cloudimani
not to be pedantic or anything, but the vast majority of those are similes, not metaphors :P

Not that I'd show off that I got A* in GCSE English

must have been our lovely school

dizzy · 12-11-2002, 02:26 PM

Wow, like whatever.

Giant Lemon · 12-11-2002, 11:39 PM

LOL! Those are great!

How embarassing would it be if you wrote one of those and realized that English speakers all over the world were laughing at you?

daisybean · 12-12-2002, 04:33 AM

kids are so cute

brettig · 12-12-2002, 05:54 AM

The 'like whatever' vocab one is actually quite clever...I'd use that one meself if I had the chance!

Stories for Boys · 12-12-2002, 12:54 PM

ROFL!!! ha!

MissVelvetDress_75 · 12-12-2002, 01:26 PM

lmfao!!!!

these are my favorites

Quote:

Originally posted by meegannie

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

however this one is the best!

[q]She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature British beef. [/q]

12-11-2002, 06:46 AM	#1
meegannie Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Norwich, England Posts: 15,798 Local Time: 08:04 PM	The best and the brightest Fresh from the pens of England's finest 15 year old's - these are fantastic!!! These are metaphors from actual GCSE essays: Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut. The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before. The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature British beef. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. __________________

12-11-2002, 08:04 AM	#2
Bonochick Halloweenhead Forum Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Cherry Lane Posts: 40,820 Local Time: 04:04 PM	BWAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!!!! __________________ __________________ "Knight in shining Zubaz." Bonochick [at] interference.com

12-11-2002, 11:16 AM	#8
bonosloveslave Offishul Kitteh Doctor Forum Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Taking care of kitties Posts: 9,655 Local Time: 03:04 PM	Wow - that's all I can say is wow...... __________________ bonosloveslave [at] interference.com

12-12-2002, 04:33 AM	#13
daisybean Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Born under a bad sign with a blue moon in your eyes Posts: 8,577 Local Time: 03:04 PM	kids are so cute __________________ "....But all I ever hear from you is "

12-12-2002, 05:54 AM	#14
brettig New Yorker Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: heehee, ask george Posts: 3,194 Local Time: 03:04 PM	Hey they aren't all that bad! But gosh they are funny... The 'like whatever' vocab one is actually quite clever...I'd use that one meself if I had the chance!

12-11-2002, 10:02 AM	#3
Laura M Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 18,934 Local Time: 09:04 PM	Gotta love GCSE's

12-11-2002, 11:15 AM	#7
cloudimani Acrobat Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Ireland Posts: 483 Local Time: 08:04 PM	not to be pedantic or anything, but the vast majority of those are similes, not metaphors :P Not that I'd show off that I got A* in GCSE English

12-11-2002, 02:26 PM	#11
dizzy Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 3,247 Local Time: 04:04 PM	Wow, like whatever.

12-11-2002, 11:39 PM	#12
Giant Lemon Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: out in the slipstream Posts: 3,265 Local Time: 08:04 PM	LOL! Those are great! How embarassing would it be if you wrote one of those and realized that English speakers all over the world were laughing at you?

12-12-2002, 12:54 PM	#15
Stories for Boys Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: chicago Posts: 5,876 Local Time: 03:04 PM	ROFL!!! ha!

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