MacPhooey
The Fly
Telemarketer Fun
As I've mentioned before, I like to make my own fun.
Telemarketers are annoying, but you can even have fun with
them if you really want to. I pulled a dandy on one who
called a few months ago offering a free carpet shampoo in
order to get in the house to try and sell their vacuum
cleaner/carpet shampooer.
When the gal identified the company she was calling from I
knew immediately what it was about, so I jumped right in...
Me: Will your cleaner get out blood? (I made my voice sound
like I was excited and out of breath)
Her: Blood?
Me: Yeah, blood. There's blood everywhere. Does it do
walls too?
Her: (pause) Yes, I think it will. I'll...um...
Me: Can you come over right now?
Her: I...I mean we...uh...right now?
Me: Yeah, blood is easier to get out when it's fresh. Once
it sets in it's a lot more work to get o! ut.
Her: I think so...how much blood is there?
Me: It's everywhere, weren't you listening? Hey, you work
confidentially don't you? I mean, you won't call the police
or anything, right?
(looong pause)
Me: Can you come over right now, and I mean NOW.
Her: Uh, no, we have to set up an appointment. I'll have to
call you back. It will take a week or two. Thank you, goodbye.
At that point I was expecting the police to show up to
investigate the blood, but they never did. Funny thing is,
this company usually calls about once a month or so if you
don't take them up on their carpet cleaning offer - they
haven't called me back since.
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"If he gets up...we'll all get up...It'll be anarchy!!"
As I've mentioned before, I like to make my own fun.
Telemarketers are annoying, but you can even have fun with
them if you really want to. I pulled a dandy on one who
called a few months ago offering a free carpet shampoo in
order to get in the house to try and sell their vacuum
cleaner/carpet shampooer.
When the gal identified the company she was calling from I
knew immediately what it was about, so I jumped right in...
Me: Will your cleaner get out blood? (I made my voice sound
like I was excited and out of breath)
Her: Blood?
Me: Yeah, blood. There's blood everywhere. Does it do
walls too?
Her: (pause) Yes, I think it will. I'll...um...
Me: Can you come over right now?
Her: I...I mean we...uh...right now?
Me: Yeah, blood is easier to get out when it's fresh. Once
it sets in it's a lot more work to get o! ut.
Her: I think so...how much blood is there?
Me: It's everywhere, weren't you listening? Hey, you work
confidentially don't you? I mean, you won't call the police
or anything, right?
(looong pause)
Me: Can you come over right now, and I mean NOW.
Her: Uh, no, we have to set up an appointment. I'll have to
call you back. It will take a week or two. Thank you, goodbye.
At that point I was expecting the police to show up to
investigate the blood, but they never did. Funny thing is,
this company usually calls about once a month or so if you
don't take them up on their carpet cleaning offer - they
haven't called me back since.
------------------
"If he gets up...we'll all get up...It'll be anarchy!!"