Signs that you might be too Canadian

[trevster2k]

1. You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.

2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."

3. You hum David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.

4. You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster's '88 Calgary Olympics theme.

5. You cried when Gus "drowned" on Road To Avonlea.

6. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".

7. You think there isn't enough of Peter Gzowski to go around.

8. You think it's normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.

9. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin, as you can only use more change.

10. You spend hours in the dark making scale models of the Avro Arrow and cursing the Diefenbaker government.

11. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting glimpses of The Tragically Hip.

12. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "what's good enough protection for the Prime Minister, is good enough for me!"

13. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "Burnt Toast!", "You know I canna read a word...", "One day we have tar paper roof!" and "Kanata".

14. You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean!!

15. You advocate the abolition of responsible government, in favour of monarchist rule.

16. You think there isn't enough Queen on our currency.

17. You send angry letters to the CBC demanding the return of the Hinterland Who's Who spots so you can finally find out what happens to the arctic ptarmigan in winter.

18. You participate in Participaction!

19. You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.

20. You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.

21. You think Peter Kent is sexy.

22. You think Matt Damon is so-so.

23. You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.

24. You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.

25. You think Great Big Sea isn't Maritime-centric enough.

26. Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.

27. Your backpack has more than one Canadian flag iron-on.

28. You know the names of all the guys in Sloan.

29. You have been on Speaker's Corner. Bonus points if they edited out your carefully prepared rant against the Harris government.

30. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.

31. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

32. You still haven't taken down your "NON" posters from the 95 Referendum.

33. You know more than 3 guys named Gordon.

34. You think Ashley MacIssac isn't celtic enough.

35. You remember "Jodie" from Today's Special and wonder why you keep seeing her reading news on the CBC.

36. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do".

37. You know why "killerwhaletank" is funny.

38. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.

39. You had a crush on Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi Junior High.

40. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few months early.

41. You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno Awards. You wonder why Stompin' Tom doesn't get his own category in all three. You scream passionately at the television when your favourite Canadian performers are overlooked by their respective academies.

42. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.

43. You think -10 C is mild weather.

44. You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.

45. You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).

46. You know the ingredients for poutine.

47. You automatically read 'Z' as 'Zed' and don't give a damn that it doesn't rhyme with "now I know my abcs".

48. You know what happens in the Evergreen Forest when Bert Raccoon wakes up.

49. You dressed as Bruno Gerussi for Halloween. You spent hours sifting through garbage on the beach to prepare for the role.

50. You substitute beer for water when cooking.

51. You carry empty beer cans from your camping trips home with you in your backpack so you can recycle them when you reach civilization.

52. You know that the 'Extra Creamy' in Kraft Extra Creamy Dinner is 'add more milk.'

53. You prefer Elvis Stojko when he has 'hockey hair' - a.k.a. 'the mullet' or 'the shorty-longback'.

54. You brag about the sweet herb in BC.

55. You know the chorus of "The Log Driver's Waltz" and are particularly fond of the 'whirling down and down' bit.

56. You steal stationery from your Government of Canada co-operative education placement because you figure you can find lots of uses for paper with 'Human Resources Development Canada/Développement des Ressources Humaines Canada' written at the top.

57. You know where this theme is from (you will need Real Audio to hear it).

58. You are moved to tears by those Bell Canada phone commercials they show around Remembrance Day where the grandson calls his grandad from Dieppe. You understand the manipulative nature of the advertisement, but continue to be moved, nontheless.

59. You stay up until midnight (the end of some television station broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.

60. You get up at 5:00 am (the begining of broadcasting hours) to hear the
Canadian national anthem.

61. You spit angrily when Americans say "ruff" instead of the correct "roof".

62. You have daydreams that film-maker Don McKellar and Hugh Dillon from The Headstones skinned and ate Regis and Kathie Lee.

63. You recognize: CPP, RSP, and CCM.

64. You read rather than scanned this list.

[melon]

Originally posted by trevster2k
35. You remember "Jodie" from Today's Special and wonder why you keep seeing her reading news on the CBC.

This one makes me chuckle...lol.

Melon

[elevation2u]

CONAN INSULTS MY HOMECOUNTRY

Canada
With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, Canadians maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal!

[dandy]

Originally posted by trevster2k
55. You know the chorus of "The Log Driver's Waltz" and are particularly fond of the 'whirling down and down' bit.

now i have this stuck in my head.

thanks.

[angelordevil]

Trevster, you've gone Canadian mad.....this is either good or bad...I'm not sure which. But in the spirit of all things Canadian, I'm setting up a board of inquiry to formally look into the matter. I'm taking this measure Because if there's one thing Canadians deserve it's accountability.

And good coffee

[FlyYourKite]

Originally posted by trevster2k

58. You are moved to tears by those Bell Canada phone commercials they show around Remembrance Day where the grandson calls his grandad from Dieppe. You understand the manipulative nature of the advertisement, but continue to be moved, nontheless.

That is totally me. I can't count the number of times I've gotten all when that commercial comes on.

And to #13. Those Heritage commercials rock.

[trevster2k]

Originally posted by angelordevil
Trevster, you've gone Canadian mad.....this is either good or bad...I'm not sure which. But in the spirit of all things Canadian, I'm setting up a board of inquiry to formally look into the matter. I'm taking this measure Because if there's one thing Canadians deserve it's accountability.

And good coffee

But it's Canada Day and this week has been leading up to today. Next week, our southern neighbours can take over again. It will be their birthday.

[Mullen4Prez]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Canada!!!!!!!

[cujo]

Originally posted by trevster2k
6. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".

36. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do".

6. You remember Alanis Morissette from You Can't Do That On Television.

13. You have performed Skinna-marink-a-dinky-dink at a Canadian wedding with full hand motions and all the words.



It's sad that I knew everything on that list. Good list though.

Today's Special even.

[the rockin edge]

O Canada eh

[burns]

Originally posted by trevster2k

46. You know the ingredients for poutine.

[angelordevil]

Originally posted by trevster2k



But it's Canada Day and this week has been leading up to today. Next week, our southern neighbours can take over again. It will be their birthday.

Keep'er flowin my friend, keep'er flowin....

[FlyYourKite]

Timmy's

[DaveC]

Originally posted by trevster2k
1. You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.

Guilty as charged. And I actually do know the "inter-stanza banter".

2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."

I had 3 Miller Lites, 2 Bud Lights, and a Yuengling in Philly, and they all tasted like weak piss to me.

6. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was "Too Hot To Hold".

I was 5, but I remember dancing to the song.

8. You think it's normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.

I actually did have a grain elevator two lots over from my house when I was 8.

10. You spend hours in the dark making scale models of the Avro Arrow and cursing the Diefenbaker government.

Does working in an Aviation Museum count?

11. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting glimpses of The Tragically Hip.

The Tragically Hip

13. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "Burnt Toast!", "You know I canna read a word...", "One day we have tar paper roof!" and "Kanata".

"And I...Emily Murphy, and all women after me...persons...under the law. So we could sit in the Senate after all."

"No! We have to keep our Irish names...mon mere me le dit, juste devant de sa mort..."

"Mississippi! The sea! China..."

"And you will have your fish...oh sire...until the end of time..."

"Take me to Fitzgibbon."

"'I coulda shot him! Who was that guy anyway?' 'Superintendent Sam Steele, Northwest Mounted Police.' 'I coulda shot him! Damn...why didn't I shoot 'im?!?"

"There are 700 people aboard that train, I've got to stop it!! Come on, come on, acknowledge!!!"

"Responsible government...hmm! It's a Canadian idea!"

14. You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean!!

Who doesn't??

17. You send angry letters to the CBC demanding the return of the Hinterland Who's Who spots so you can finally find out what happens to the arctic ptarmigan in winter.

They came back.

18. You participate in Participaction!

Those Body Break commercials were great..."I'm Hal Johnson!" "And I'm Joanne Macleod!!!"

19. You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.

That voice...

20. You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.

That toupee...

23. You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.

I was 5 at the time, but I do know that it was the Hip's 1991 tour in support of Road Apples.

28. You know the names of all the guys in Sloan.

I know 3/4ths of them...Pat Pentland, Andy Scott, and Chris Murphy.

29. You have been on Speaker's Corner. Bonus points if they edited out your carefully prepared rant against the Harris government.

I filmed a Speaker's Corner bit, but it never got shown.

31. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize" and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

"Gratuit", "prix", and "aucun sucre additionné"

36. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do".

For the record, it's Skinnamarinkidinkidink.

37. You know why "killerwhaletank" is funny.

At least, me and the guys in the CNS Union do. But I don't work there anymore, since Bartholomu had bit my left arm off for Shamu taking a shining to me.

38. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.

Maple sugar

46. You know the ingredients for poutine.

Easy. Fries, cheese curds, gravy.

51. You carry empty beer cans from your camping trips home with you in your backpack so you can recycle them when you reach civilization.

I bring them home from parties. No, really. I do.

53. You prefer Elvis Stojko when he has 'hockey hair' - a.k.a. 'the mullet' or 'the shorty-longback'.

Since when does Elvis Stojko NOT have a mullet??

54. You brag about the sweet herb in BC.

The best shrooms on earth come from Tantallon, NS too. 20 minutes from my house.

55. You know the chorus of "The Log Driver's Waltz" and are particularly fond of the 'whirling down and down' bit.

And he goes
whirling down and down white water
that's where the log driver learns to step lightly
he's whirling down and down white water
the log driver's waltz pleases girls completely

63. You recognize: CPP, RSP, and CCM.

Canada Pension Plan, Retirement Savings Plan, Canadian Cycle Manufacturers

64. You read rather than scanned this list.

Guilty as charged.

[FlyYourKite]

@ Dave!

Hal Johnson and Joanne Macleod are forever etched in my brain

[DaveC]

Hal Johnson has shaved off his mustache though...

[Se7en]

Originally posted by DaveC
I had 3 Miller Lites, 2 Bud Lights, and a Yuengling in Philly, and they all tasted like weak piss to me.

i'm surprised you didn't even like the lager, it is one of my favorite brews.

miller and bud are bottled piss, but sometimes you just can't go wrong with a cool, refreshing bud light.

[DaveC]

American beer is for pussies.

[Se7en]

pussy.



(try troegs sometime, maybe it is manly enough for your tastes)

[KhanadaRhodes]

Originally posted by trevster2k
36. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do".

64. You read rather than scanned this list.

i'm not even canadian but...

i grew up with sharon lois, and bram's elephant show.

i read the whole thing too