Shuttlecock! Part XVIII - Like the top of an airborne birdie's head

[lazarus]

Your gap would have bested me by two years. Plus I didn't seal the deal since she had work at 8 AM.

What's the current record the other way? I'm afraid to even submit my credentials.

Oh, P.S.

I'm not single. Kind of disturbing that I forgot to mention that, I guess...! That was the main hitch in the giddyup, so to speak. I mean, if I were gonna stray, this would've been one hell of a time to do it! No doubt. But I wasn't gonna stray.

Ahh. A crucial detail. Of course, this only makes the whole thing even that much hotter. Because it's even more wrong. I mean, if you're going to bone your cousin's wife at a wake, you may as well be cheating on someone in the process, right?

Kind of a crucial piece of information there. But I don't consider cougars cheating. Much like I don't consider a girl hooking up with another girl cheating.

Yep, these are my readers.

 

[If you shout...]

Much like I don't consider a girl hooking up with another girl cheating.

I have looked the other way on this, in the past. I was like, "You know what, that's fine. Just fuckin' call me in before y'all get started, next time." In other news, I might not really like U2, but I sure do like the womens.

 

[impy13]

What's the current record the other way? I'm afraid to even submit my credentials.

Being 21, I don't have much wiggle room, so to speak.

I have looked the other way on this, in the past. I was like, "You know what, that's fine. Just fuckin' call me in before y'all get started, next time." In other news, I might not really like U2, but I sure do like the womens.

A reasonable reaction. I can't say I've ever been in the situation myself, but I don't see myself getting too worked up about it unless it became habitual and impacted my relationship on an emotional and/or sexual level.

 

[If you shout...]

I mean, if you're going to bone your cousin's wife at a wake, you may as well be cheating on someone in the process, right?

The strangest part of the whole cousin thing? I've never even met the guy, before. Nor had I ever heard of him, until last week. Some distant-ass relation. Poor guy's named Steve. And he wasn't there because he had hella-jet lag, on account of having just returned from a business trip to...Japan! Oh, what a tangled web I weave!

Sigh. Somebody listen to the Crocodiles album, Summer of Hate. Fucking awesome.

 

[lazarus]

I have looked the other way on this, in the past. I was like, "You know what, that's fine. Just fuckin' call me in before y'all get started, next time." In other news, I might not really like U2, but I sure do like the womens.

I've never known anyone who's been able to arrange that kind of thing, which usually happens through sheer dumb luck and circumstance.

 

[impy13]

Tried in high school. Fell through. Such is life.

 

[lazarus]

Being 21, I don't have much wiggle room, so to speak.

Good point. At 37, I have much more. Most of my friends are under 25 anyway, so it's not like I'm trolling or anything.

 

[lazarus]

Is this conversation what Pussy's Cafe Deluxe is for?

 

[impy13]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 9 (8 members and 1 guests)
impy13*, corianderstem, GirlsAloudFan, lazarus, still running, If you shout..., phillyfan26, Matt786

It figures the one night we're really putting the cock in Shuttlecock, we get a large readership. Sex sells, people.

Is this conversation what Pussy's Cafe Deluxe is for?

I suppose it is, but that forum is a wasteland and I don't want to hear about the vast, vast, vast minority majority of Interlanders' exploits.

 

[corianderstem]

IYS drops a cougar story like that and you guys are talking about that rip-off artist Dennis Leary?! Who gives a shit?

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! By all means, keep talking about older women who like to have sex - a concept so bizarre, so beyond all comprehension that it must be assigned a dumb-ass name!

PS: Dalton started it by posting a picture from the show.

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 9 (8 members and 1 guests)
impy13*, corianderstem, GirlsAloudFan, lazarus, still running, If you shout..., phillyfan26, Matt786

It figures the one night we're really putting the cock in Shuttlecock, we get a large readership. Sex sells, people.

I'm not actually reading the thread, I just like the nice blue background on the page.

 

[corianderstem]

Is this conversation what Pussy's Cafe Deluxe is for?

I thought Pussy's Cafe Deluxe was for announcing to a bunch of random people on the internet that you had sex last night.

 

[impy13]

Actually, they just made out.

 

[corianderstem]

Lest ya'll think I stormed all in to be all offended and junk, I don't think it's offensive. I just wanted to express my opinion that this whole fucking "cougar" phenomenon is just about the dumbest shit ever, and I can't wait until it dies a quick, painful death.

Hopefully having a reality show about it will hasten its demise.

But please, carry on about cousins and funerals and closets and junk.

 

[impy13]

As a buzz word, I'm not particularly crazy about "cougar" either. I just use it because I don't like quoting American Pie by using MILF. But as with a lot of guys, I've had that seed in my mind for a long time, far longer than it's been a part of the vernacular.

In any case, it's a much better topic of conversation than Dalton accusing me of bestiality.

 

[corianderstem]

I didn't realize it had been around for a while. Or maybe I was aware, and was just so annoyed I blocked it from my memory.

I'm glad MILF seems to be dying out, though. And if it's not dying out, please don't tell me. I'd prefer to remain blissful in my delusion.

 

[impy13]

By around for a while I meant a penchant for older women, not the actual term. You don't hear MILF much more these days, thankfully. I prefer cougar by a country mile.

 

[corianderstem]

Oh, gotcha.

 

[lazarus]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! By all means, keep talking about older women who like to have sex - a concept so bizarre, so beyond all comprehension that it must be assigned a dumb-ass name!

Lest ya'll think I stormed all in to be all offended and junk, I don't think it's offensive. I just wanted to express my opinion that this whole fucking "cougar" phenomenon is just about the dumbest shit ever, and I can't wait until it dies a quick, painful death.

Hopefully having a reality show about it will hasten its demise.

Methinks the Future Cougar doth protest too much.

 

[Dalton]

Worth telling, even if I missed the party:

A great-great aunt of mine died, last week. Tough times for some people in the family, of course. She was 92, though, and had had a damn-ass good run. She would've turned 93, in just a few months. Big ups to Aunt Vivian, right?

Anyway, I attended the wake. I got there on the early end of things, to avoid the brutal sadness into which wakes always descend--shit starts off all right, but those things get punishing. I wanted to pay my respects, try to cheer up a person or two, catch up with some people I hadn't seen for a while (on account of living in Japan, for a few years), and be on my way.

I stayed for about 90 minutes--far longer than I'd really expected, as I am not too close with that bough of the family tree and hadn't seen Vivian more than a handful of times, in my life. In those 90 minutes, I met the wife of a cousin of a cousin of a cousin. Never seen or heard of this woman, before, although she spoke of having seen me as an infant. As an infant, mind you. She was there with her mother-in-law, who apparently knew my mother and grandmother pretty well, back in the day; the daughter-in-law was 49.

I will spare most of the details, but know this--by the time my 90 minutes were up, I'd been invited into the restroom for a quick, uh...you know. I declined, because that's just fucking insane and creepy and morally bankrupt...but if, you know, it hadn't've been at a wake, I would've had a damn-ass hard time turning that woman down, even with her being married. Fucking gorgeous!

Given the context, I just kept saying to myself, "Dude...there's no way that she's actually flirting with you this openly, right? You must just be buying your own hype, or something. Wake up. ...But, wait, why does she keep rubbing my arm like that...?" There we were, and there it was. Insane. A decent story to tell, I guess.

Back to whatever y'all were up to. I still don't really like the new album. Blah.

I've said it once, I'll say it again: you continue to be one of my favorite posters. Your story is fine, but I really love the fact that you used the word(?) "damn-ass" twice.

 

[martha]

Soon it's going to be GILF--for grandma.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Lest ya'll think I stormed all in to be all offended and junk, I don't think it's offensive. I just wanted to express my opinion that this whole fucking "cougar" phenomenon is just about the dumbest shit ever, and I can't wait until it dies a quick, painful death.

Hopefully having a reality show about it will hasten its demise.

But please, carry on about cousins and funerals and closets and junk.

Agreed.

Soon it's going to be GILF--for grandma.

 

[impy13]

Good morning, Cock Force.

 

[martha]

It is good. It's going to be 92 again today, and North American Scum is agreat song to drive to in the warm morning air.

 

[corianderstem]

Methinks the Future Cougar doth protest too much.

*spanks you*

 

[Irvine511]

just to write in defense of Cougars ... i think a Cougar is something pretty specific, not a woman over 40 who likes to have sex. when i think of a Cougar, i think of a woman who goes for men 10-20 years younger then themselves. she spends a lot of time on her hair, makeup, nails, clothes, working out, botox, etc. she drinks to excess, maybe smokes, and is perfumed with desperation.

i think of Dina Lohan.

but i think the biggest characteristic of a Cougar is going for much younger men (you know, just like men go for much younger women ... and men, if i had a dollar for every nearly 50 year old man who's hit on me ... i could probably buy two vodka-sodas with a splash of cranberry).

so i don't think it's a term meant to disparage a woman who enjoys sex and looks great over 40.

imho.

 

[corianderstem]

i think of Dina Lohan.

I try not to think of Dina Lohan. Ever.

 

[Irvine511]

I try not to think of Dina Lohan. Ever.

i may or may not have watched several episodes of "Living Lohan."

 

[mad1]

seriously folks, whatever happened to Mike?

 

[If you shout...]

I've said it once, I'll say it again: you continue to be one of my favorite posters. Your story is fine, but I really love the fact that you used the word(?) "damn-ass" twice.

Thank you.