Shuttlecock! Part X - Forfeit! Racquet Smash!

[Irvine511]

Do you have any idea the shitstorm this statement can cause in PLEBA/EYKIW??

i still want someone to tell me about the rumor that no one is allowed to talk about in there.

please? someone?

 

[corianderstem]

Do you have any idea the shitstorm this statement can cause in PLEBA/EYKIW??

Should we go find out?

Irvine: are you talking about the "rumor" that Bono was boffing Penelope Cruz because of that picture of them last year?

 

[No spoken words]

True fans hate Israel!

I can speak on behalf of Israel about this if you like.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

he said girlfights were always worse.

thankfully I am not required to break up fights.

 

[phillyfan26]

I can speak on behalf of Israel about this if you like.

Mike, you got anything to say about this?

 

[No spoken words]

Mike, you got anything to say about this?

I will read from a prepared statement later tonight.

 

[Irvine511]

Should we go find out?

Irvine: are you talking about the "rumor" that Bono was boffing Penelope Cruz because of that picture of them last year?

there's a part of me that wants to get an alter and really fuck shit up.

but as for the rumor -- i have no idea.

i thought it might have been that one of them was on serious drugs?

i wish i even knew.

 

[corianderstem]

Oh. I don't think I've ever heard that one. All the rumors I hear about U2 is that Bono is a total cheatin' slut.

I can neither confirm nor deny that. But I can say with some certainty that he has never slept with me. So he's got that going against for him.

 

[phillyfan26]

I will read from a prepared statement later tonight.

At 11:00 PM EST tonight, Israeli citizen and official spokesman Mike N.S. Words will deliver a prepared address to the media. No questions will be fielded.

 

[Irvine511]

Oh. I don't think I've ever heard that one. All the rumors I hear about U2 is that Bono is a total slut.

really? do tell. or is that not allowed?

(and at this moment i'm thinking of the various posts that defended Bono's virtuousness in the face of the "New York" lyrics)

i know someone who slept with Liam Gallagher. is that like sleeping with Bono? or is it like sleeping with Macca, only less satisfying.

 

[LemonMelon]

Well, drug addicts are compulsive liars. Makes sense to me.

 

[phillyfan26]

I think they all were doing some crazy ass shit on Zoo TV, and they all but confirmed it in Shuttlecock by Shuttlecock.

 

[lazarus]

At 11:00 PM EST tonight, Israeli citizen and official spokesman Mike N.S. Words will deliver a prepared address to the media. No questions will be fielded.

You mean the Zionist-controlled media that's going to help smoke screen this whole situation?

 

[corianderstem]

Oh, just at various other internet sites, celeb gossip and other discussion boards. Any tidbit about U2/Bono seems to bring out the serious Bono-haters in full force, and there's always one that will claim to know someone that Bono had sex with or whatever.

That sort of thing.

 

[Irvine511]

Well, drug addicts are compulsive liars. Makes sense to me.

it wouldn't surprise me in the least if Bono had stuff on the side.

the way that said rumor was phrases was that it was some kind of Really Big Deal, not that a rock star occasionally nailed women who weren't his wife.

 

[No spoken words]

You mean the Zionist-controlled media that's going to help smoke screen this whole situation?

How.....insightful of you.

 

[Irvine511]

I think they all were doing some crazy ass shit on Zoo TV, and they all but confirmed it in Shuttlecock by Shuttlecock.

really? i missed that.

they seemed nearly virginal in "Shuttlecock: At the End of the Racquet."

 

[phillyfan26]

You mean the Zionist-controlled media that's going to help smoke screen this whole situation?

You know those "If ________ People Ran the World" commercials with delivery people and roadies and shit? I can't wait for the "If the Writers of Battlestar Gallactica Ran the World" one, in which Israel burns, Love and Peace or Else is erased from existence, and Cris Carter is so fit!

 

[corianderstem]

the way that said rumor was phrases was that it was some kind of Really Big Deal, not that a rock star occasionally nailed women who weren't his wife.

Hmm. I can honestly say I've never seen references to anything other than the usual rock star sex stuff.

Maybe he's really a Sekrit Scientologist.

In other news, words cannot express how much I love the Zoo TV version of Running to Stand Still. The "hallelujah" part gives me chills every time.

 

[No spoken words]

There will be no more isolation, in our secret scientologist.....you touched my heart so deeply, you rescued me.....now free me.

 

[Irvine511]

so i just googled "Bono and Penelope Cruz" and came across some celebrity gossip site, and this was an amazing comment:

One Of His Kids Is Right Behind Him And Her Name Is Eve. This Has Happened Many Summers In A Row...Beyonce And Jay-Z, Christy Turlington, And So Many Others. His Boat Was Probably Going Straight To His Beach Home Where His Wife Was Waiting. Every Year At Around The Same Time Rumors Fly And A Few Times, Ali Was There, Too. All This Speculation Is Crazy And Out Of Hand. Penelope, Bono And Ali Are All Having A Good Laugh At All Of You Now. I’ve Met Bono And He Held My Hand And Kept Me Close In The Curve Of His Neck While I Regained My Composure. Then, When I Snapped Out Of It A Little , We Took Pictures Together And I Swear It Seems Like Even WE Were An Item. He’s Very Touchy Feely With Everyone And My Husband Was There Too. He’s Simply Charismatic.

i wish i could express how that paragraph sounds in my head.

it sounds like song titles for the next LP.

 

[No spoken words]

i wish i could express how that paragraph sounds in my head.

Give it a try.

 

[corianderstem]

What compels people to write every word capitalized?

Maybe because anything relating to Bono is like the WORD OF GOD and must be capitalized or He Will Become Upset.

 

[No spoken words]

What compels people to write every word capitalized?

Maybe because anything relating to Bono is like the WORD OF GOD and must be capitalized or He Will Become Upset.

clf

 

[corianderstem]

There will be no more isolation, in our secret scientologist.....you touched my heart so deeply, you rescued me.....now free me.

I preferred their hit Saved By Bono.

Maybe I'll win ....
(saved by Bono!) (Ahhh, ahhhh!)

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

http://www.u2interference.com/forums/f189/a-little-touching-up-187839.html

Good times.

I should bump this thread up. People get awfully touchy about this subject. I don't understand the compulsion to defend Bono and his bald spot hair.

 

[LemonMelon]

really? i missed that.

they seemed nearly virginal in "Shuttlecock: At the End of the Racquet."

It's every PLEBAn's dream for Bono to wake up in their home, puking on the furniture, and wearing nothing more than a t-shirt covered in Lance's mom's menstrual blood.

 

[corianderstem]

clf

I like my theory better.




(but that did occur to me after I posted)

 

[No spoken words]

I preferred their hit Saved By Bono.

Maybe I'll win ....
(saved by Bono!) (Ahhh, ahhhh!)

Under a Blood Red Sky at night? Maybe? No?

 

[No spoken words]

It's every PLEBAn's dream for Bono to wake up in their home, puking on the furniture, and wearing nothing more than a t-shirt covered in Lance's mom's menstrual blood.

Oh wow.