Researchers find the world's funniest joke

Giant Lemon · 10-03-2002, 09:46 AM

It�s Official: The World�s Funniest Joke

By Corey Ullman

L O N D O N, Oct. 3 � After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke was revealed today.

In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings.

More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and 2 million critiques later, this is it:

"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

National Tastes, or Lack Thereof

Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.

People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:

PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."

Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid.

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"

HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

TEXAN: "OK � where are you from, jackass?"

Europeans Dig Surreal Gags

Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'

"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."'

Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:

"A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

"He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'

"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."'

In Scotland, Death Earns Laughs

Death earned big laughs in Scotland:

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

And animals figured prominently. Take the No. 1 joke in England:

"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'

"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.

"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'

"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk."'

Germans Laugh Most

The survey revealed other fun facts:

Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.

If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.

The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick." Researchers said no one ever found it funny.

The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk

ghetofabu · 10-03-2002, 10:15 AM

I think Kobi and his pants are funny and they are both hail from the land of the Maple leaves.

mad1 · 10-03-2002, 10:19 AM

MonaVox · 10-03-2002, 10:48 AM

OK honestly the only one that made me laugh was the stick one

pr0digy · 10-03-2002, 12:19 PM

lol I laughed to the one about the strawberry

adamswildhoney · 10-03-2002, 12:53 PM

HeartlandGirl · 10-03-2002, 02:34 PM

I think I'm a typical American and Oklahoman. The funniest one to me was the Texas/Harvard grad joke.

**KhanadaRhodes** · 10-03-2002, 02:43 PM

haha, the joke i found the funniest was the strawberry one. maybe it's a sign i need to move to the uk?

also, i'm part german, on my mom's side, so it all makes sense why that side is always the one with all the jokes and stuff. my mom's family =

Lilly · 10-03-2002, 02:53 PM

well, i'm irish, and they don't have the "the irish like anything self-depricating" quote in there. but we do tend to like morbid jokes. heh, i liked the first one the best...make sure he's dead...

like i told april last week:

when irish eyes are smiling...they're up to something.

____

beware if i say that to you in conversation, right april?

ILuvLarryMullen · 10-03-2002, 03:31 PM

Hey, I thought the stick joke was pretty damn funny, but I have a very bizarre sense of humor.
I'm

Giant Lemon · 10-03-2002, 04:39 PM

Yeah, I thought the "funniest" joke was pretty lame. The strawberry and "I slept with your mother!" ones were way funnier in my opinion.

And you poor Canadians who laugh the least!

kariatari · 10-03-2002, 04:56 PM

I liked the hunter one and the weasel one the best.

bullet the blue sky · 10-03-2002, 09:52 PM

You have it all wrong. The following is the greatest joke ever.

Q: What did the man say when he saw four elephants walking over a hill?

A: "Oh look, here come four elephants."

Q: What did the man say when he saw four elephants walking over a hill wearing shades?

A: Nothing. He didn't recognise them.

Ithankyou.

Nate Dogg · 10-04-2002, 09:29 PM

I think the funniest joke in the world is the fact that there is a study to find the funniest joke in the world. Now THAT'S FUNNY!Why doesn't the British Association for the Advancement of Science go find a disease to cure, or find a way to clean their teeth!

u2er · 10-04-2002, 10:17 PM

I liked the weasel one and the hunter one

LarryMullen's POPAngel · 10-04-2002, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lilly

like i told april last week:

when irish eyes are smiling...they're up to something.

____
beware if i say that to you in conversation, right april?

yes.

Kieran McConville · 10-04-2002, 10:45 PM

Texan goes into an Australian country pub, buys a drink and says, "Back home, I can can get on my horse at sunrise, ride non-stop for the next three days and still be on my own land." An Australian at the bar says, "Yeah, I used to have a horse like that."

theSoulfulMofo · 10-05-2002, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Giant Lemon
Canadians laughed least.

Where's deathbear?!! He's Canadian, right?

10-03-2002, 09:46 AM	#1
Giant Lemon Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: out in the slipstream Posts: 3,265 Local Time: 08:44 PM	Researchers find the world's funniest joke It�s Official: The World�s Funniest Joke By Corey Ullman L O N D O N, Oct. 3 � After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke was revealed today. In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings. More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and 2 million critiques later, this is it: "Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?" National Tastes, or Lack Thereof Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny. People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as: PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that." Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid. TEXAN: "Where are you from?" HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions." TEXAN: "OK � where are you from, jackass?" Europeans Dig Surreal Gags Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage: A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' "But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."' Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke: "A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. "He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.' "The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."' In Scotland, Death Earns Laughs Death earned big laughs in Scotland: "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers." And animals figured prominently. Take the No. 1 joke in England: "Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!' "The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. "The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!' "The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk."' Germans Laugh Most The survey revealed other fun facts: Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least. If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck. The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick." Researchers said no one ever found it funny. The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk __________________

10-03-2002, 10:15 AM	#2
ghetofabu Rock n' Roll Doggie Band-aid Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: The Kitchen Posts: 4,038 Local Time: 02:44 PM	I think Kobi and his pants are funny and they are both hail from the land of the Maple leaves. __________________

10-03-2002, 02:43 PM	#8
KhanadaRhodes Paper Gods Forum Administrator Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: a vampire in the limousine Posts: 60,696 Local Time: 03:44 PM	haha, the joke i found the funniest was the strawberry one. maybe it's a sign i need to move to the uk? also, i'm part german, on my mom's side, so it all makes sense why that side is always the one with all the jokes and stuff. my mom's family = __________________

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10-03-2002, 10:19 AM	#3
mad1 ONE love, blood, life Join Date: May 2001 Location: Angie Jolie lover from Belfast Norn Ireland. I LOVE YOU ANGIE! Im a Bono fan! Posts: 13,169 Local Time: 09:44 PM

10-03-2002, 10:48 AM	#4
MonaVox Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Brooklyn, NY Posts: 3,460 Local Time: 03:44 PM	OK honestly the only one that made me laugh was the stick one

10-03-2002, 12:19 PM	#5
pr0digy The Fly Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Brisbane, Queensland, AUSTRALIA Posts: 83 Local Time: 06:44 AM	lol I laughed to the one about the strawberry

10-03-2002, 12:53 PM	#6
adamswildhoney ONE love, blood, life Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere in NorCal Posts: 10,333 Local Time: 12:44 PM

10-03-2002, 02:34 PM	#7
HeartlandGirl Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Phoenix Posts: 7,214 Local Time: 01:44 PM	I think I'm a typical American and Oklahoman. The funniest one to me was the Texas/Harvard grad joke.

10-03-2002, 02:53 PM	#9
Lilly Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: back and to the left Posts: 8,523 Local Time: 02:44 PM	well, i'm irish, and they don't have the "the irish like anything self-depricating" quote in there. but we do tend to like morbid jokes. heh, i liked the first one the best...make sure he's dead... like i told april last week: when irish eyes are smiling...they're up to something. ____ beware if i say that to you in conversation, right april?

10-03-2002, 03:31 PM	#10
ILuvLarryMullen Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: in the sunshine Posts: 6,904 Local Time: 12:44 PM	Hey, I thought the stick joke was pretty damn funny, but I have a very bizarre sense of humor. I'm

10-03-2002, 04:39 PM	#11
Giant Lemon Rock n' Roll Doggie Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: out in the slipstream Posts: 3,265 Local Time: 08:44 PM	Yeah, I thought the "funniest" joke was pretty lame. The strawberry and "I slept with your mother!" ones were way funnier in my opinion. And you poor Canadians who laugh the least!

10-03-2002, 04:56 PM	#12
kariatari War Child Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Iowa Posts: 935 Local Time: 03:44 PM	I liked the hunter one and the weasel one the best.

10-03-2002, 09:52 PM	#13
bullet the blue sky Refugee Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Earth Posts: 1,125 Local Time: 09:44 PM	You have it all wrong. The following is the greatest joke ever. Q: What did the man say when he saw four elephants walking over a hill? A: "Oh look, here come four elephants." Q: What did the man say when he saw four elephants walking over a hill wearing shades? A: Nothing. He didn't recognise them. Ithankyou.

10-04-2002, 09:29 PM	#14
Nate Dogg Refugee Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: South Florida Posts: 2,259 Local Time: 03:44 PM	I think the funniest joke in the world is the fact that there is a study to find the funniest joke in the world. Now THAT'S FUNNY!Why doesn't the British Association for the Advancement of Science go find a disease to cure, or find a way to clean their teeth!

10-04-2002, 10:17 PM	#15
u2er Refugee Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 2,415 Local Time: 03:44 PM	I liked the weasel one and the hunter one

10-04-2002, 10:45 PM	#17
Kieran McConville ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Hi, Violet Posts: 10,253 Local Time: 06:44 AM	Texan goes into an Australian country pub, buys a drink and says, "Back home, I can can get on my horse at sunrise, ride non-stop for the next three days and still be on my own land." An Australian at the bar says, "Yeah, I used to have a horse like that."